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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is a really crap way to carry your newborn and toddler around?

52 replies

Norfolkbumpkin · 14/01/2009 21:31

Whilst shooping in town this afternoon I came across a young mum walking towards me pushing a toddler in a stroller. I did a double take and gasped because hooked over one of the handlebars of the stroller was the handle of a first stage carseat with quite a young baby asleep in it. AIBU to think this is such a dumb idea? The pavements were busy with shoppers and all I could think about was this poor baby being knocked about.

OP posts:

beforesunrise · 15/01/2009 06:43

flashback to 10 minutes before:

"mum to toddler: ok now we walk to the shops.

toddler: NOOOOOOOO!

m: come on come on let's put your little brother in the buggy

t: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

m: please i'll buy you an icecream

t: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I GO IN THE BUGGY!!!

m: oh whatever"

don't judge what you don't know. since having a toddler/baby combo i have come to accept that nothing is perfect....

nametaken · 15/01/2009 10:19

Did you offer to help her?

nickytwotimes · 15/01/2009 10:21

yabu.
the kid was asleep, so clearly quite comfortable.

bronze · 15/01/2009 10:24

As someone who doesnt drive I occasionally get the train to go and stay with people. I have been known to do the same things as I need both the pushchair and the carseat the other end. If theres a long time between my bus getting in and the train leaving I may pootle around town for a bit.
Baby is in less danger than putting it in a car!

bronze · 15/01/2009 10:25

In fact I'm in norfolk. Only reason I know its not me is because I havent been anywhere recently.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 15/01/2009 10:27

SGB it's a regular occurance here. So regular intact that dd2 does not bat an eyelid now and simply waits for some one to pick her buggy bcak up the floor

I can't wait untill she gets heavier and we can hold more shopping bags

PinkTulips · 15/01/2009 10:33

i would presume she was doing it for the same reason i had to do it once or twice when ds was tiny.... the baby was in the carseat attached to the buggy as a travel system, older toddler got hysterically tired sooner than expected, she was too exhausted to push the buggy with one hand while carrying toddler in her arms so she took the car seat off for 5/10 mins to let the toddler rest while she headed back to the car/bus/coffeeshop/house.

silverfrog · 15/01/2009 10:37

I could see me doing this if I had a buggy with separate handles.

but then I also put my shopping basket on the hood of my P&T rather than carry it and push one-handed

NotADragonOfSoup · 15/01/2009 10:38

If the car seat can't protect the baby from an accidental knock from a pedestrian it's going to be pretty useless in a car accident isn't it?

I had to balance fairly newborn DS2 in the hood of the pram because DS1 (then 2) refused to walk back from the park. I have also stashed DS1 in the shopping basket when he refused to walk but DS1 was too big to fit in the hood. Judge away, I couldn't give a ....

hannahlouhoo · 15/01/2009 10:42

sgb you need to put heavy items in basket under pushchair to lessen the chances of buggy tippage! i have been know to get 6 bags of shopping on my pram 2 underneath and two on each handel!

PinkTulips · 15/01/2009 10:45

lol solidgold... i did worse than that recently.

was in a department store paying for some clothes and ds was in the buggy. he stood up in it because he wanted to talk to me and instead of telling him to sit down i started chatting to him while the salesgirl scanned my stuff.... he leaned on the back of the buggy to talk to me and the whole thing went flying and he landed on his head

bet the mature mummies behind me had a good judging session at this young mum

PinkTulips · 15/01/2009 10:49

hannah... neither of my buggies can fit more than a bag or 2 of sugar beneath them and even then the shopping bag thingy unclips itself randomly.... i tend to pile stuff in around the toddler and on the hood when i can't get any more on the handles!

wb · 15/01/2009 10:58

Oh I've done this (and I'm an old mum). It is bloody hard work, esp. as the car seat bit doesn't hang properly from the buggy and bashes your legs as you walk. Still, it is hardly child abuse, is it? The seats are designed to withstand car crashes so I expect the odd bump won't hurt 'the poor baby' .

In my case I did it cause the 2 year old who was supposed to walk fell into one of his deep-can't-be-woken sleeps and I stupidly packed the single not double buggy.

So shoot me...

belgo · 15/01/2009 11:02

wb - sounds more like mother abuse to me! The children themselves sound very comfortatble.

alicet · 15/01/2009 14:02

PMSL at notadragon stashing her ds1 in the shopping basket !!!!

Agree with the majority on here that you probably should spend your time worrying about something important. Not ideal but like with 2 small ones is not easy.

Probably she was out with baby in the carseat as a travel system and her toddler chucked an 'i'm not walking and nothing will make me' type tantrum. This is precisely why I have a double even though ds1 (nearly 3) often walks now

Tamarto · 15/01/2009 14:16

How did you even notice this? "A double take and gasped" really? If this is the worst you see on the street be grateful.

How did you know she was young? and why does it matter?

kayzr · 15/01/2009 14:21

I hate the whole young mother thing. I am a young mother apparently and I don't see how I am any different from any other mum. It really pisses me off.

Silverfrog, I will have to do that with my Phil and Teds, I struggle round carrying the basket and pushing one handed.

SmallShips · 15/01/2009 14:22

I would have quite happily done that yesterday with my two, if i'd been bright enough to think of it , instead i struggled up the high st with DS screaming his head off and trying to lie down every 2 minutes, whilst a random woman chased me up the hill to make sure we we were ok.

BlueSapphire77 · 15/01/2009 14:27

Good point lol
Yes i was a very young mum.. and solidgold's POV could have been written about me it was an almost daily occurance.

Your kids haven't lived till they leap out of the pram throwing all your shopping in all directions

Or had their world turned upside down by over zealous loading of shopping

@ working as a counterweight lololololol

littleducks · 15/01/2009 14:27

it doesnt sound great but hey none of your business really

i did once see a mum pushing an empty buggy, with a small toddler curled up asleep in the shopping basket and i was and wondered for ages why?

kitstwins · 15/01/2009 14:32

Necessity was the MOTHER of all invention in my house when my twins were tiny. So that meant feeding them on a sofa with bottles propped in their mouths; it meant pushing them round Waitrose with two carseats jammed in a trolley as I was too scared to put them in the newborn trolley seats for fear of meltdowns/screaming fits; it also meant picking things up with my toes (a neat trick of mine....) when I was stuck on the sofa with two small babies lying on top of me and the muslin cloth was JUST out of reach.

I made it up as I went along. People would have been horrified by how we winged it, but I'm afraid I was very much in the 'Scraping Through' camp of motherhood: Hanging on by my fingertips, frequently tearful, frequently stunned by my inability to cope.

Whatever gets her through. Not ideal, but how many of us have found ourselves walking along with two children in some convoluted means of conveyance, thinking "nearlyhomenearlyhomenearlyhome"?

Kitstwins - who last month carried her daughters to the car in torrential rain, one child on either hip, biceps popping, with a golf umbrella stuffed into her trousers. As I said, necessity is the mother of invention in my house! I suspect it was the same in the pushchair/carseat lady's. I salute her for her inventiveness in the face of screaming toddler/newborn adversity.

Original poster

Norfolkbumpkin · 15/01/2009 14:58

I don't drive, so used to have baby in sling, bag in one had and carseat in the other ( if I was getting a lift home) whilst travelling about on buses. I am an older mum and people still used to look at me like I was a piece of shit, so yes I confess age has nothing to do with it. I do object to a couple loading their stroller up with bags of shopping, then yelling like crazy at the poor child because it got out, thus tipping all the shopping on the floor. Saw this happen only recently in local supermarket. Its a buggy for a child ffs.

OP posts:

tassisssss · 15/01/2009 15:02

funny thread as i saw a mum i know doing this not long ago and i thought it was INSPIRED!

(but then I'm the mum who lets toddler sit at the newborn's feet while newborn is in flat pram)

BlueSapphire77 · 15/01/2009 15:41

I didn't go crazy when my shopping went flying..i used to find it amusing, the look on the kids faces lol

Used to get tutted at but then that comes with being a mum i think, somone always thinks you're doing something wrong.. but would rather wave a pitchfork at you than offer to help

bronze · 15/01/2009 15:50

re the counterweight thing. dds been happily walking to playgroup on her own but recently I've insisted shes gone int he pushchair so I can use the handles as a kind of zimmer frame

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