I think maybe I am, maybe DH... help me decide.

[BouncingTurtle]

DH is normally out of the house 7.30am - 6.30pm, so spends a bit of time with ds in the morning, and a bit in the evening - DS goes to bed at 7pm. That's assuming he isn't late getting home.
This week he has a few meetings in London this week (we live up North). So Tuesday he'll be away before DS gets up and back very late, on Wednesday he'll be staying overnight in London and again will be late back on Thursday. So he is going to take the Friday off.

Only he isn't planning to spend the day with me and ds. He'll be buying an week all line rover for the train as it'll be much cheaper than 2 sets of return tickets. So Friday he is planning on going off on the trains (he is a bit of a saddo train nut )

I haven't said anything to him, but it has crossed my mind that maybe he'd like to spend time with us? But then he has all weekend to spend time wit us and I guess this train travelling thing isn't something he'd be able to do very often.

So should I say anything? I don't want to do the train thing as it'll be expensive for me and not much fun for ds as he is only 12mo.

Should I say anything or just let him get on with being a saddo?

Depends - does he often go off doing things on trains, or is it quite rare? And does he spend a lot of time with you both normally?
x

Let him get on with it, but make sure you spend your own day away doing something you enjoy. And if there isn't something you can think of then dammit go and shop for the day.

If he were a woman he would think "oh I haven't seen the little bouncing turtlette for a while I would like to spend some time with him and also relieve my precious darling bounce turtle" , however he is not, so the best way to enforce some equality is not to worry about what he should or shouldn't be thinking or doing, but just make sure that you get some equal time to yourself.

At the very least he should be making you breakfast in bed or giving you a lie-in and getting your DS dressed for the day before he goes. I can't see the attraction of spending the day on a train myself, but you can use it as a bargaining tool (I believe in treating marriage as a cold war ).

agree with Rookie. my DH is a train and bus nut who would do exactly the same sort of thing, nice to see it's not just me

Yes you are right, he'll rarely get the chance to do this...will insist on lie in though

My ex would have done EXACTLY this!! He'd look on the extra days travel as a day to go around on the trains FOR FREEEEEE!!

If it were him I'd be saying oh yes absolutely he's BU.

He used to take me on these terrible days of sitting on trains just so he could colour the line in on his map... he took me to south wales once and back in a day with just half an hour to get off before we spent another 7 hours on trains coming home...

If I said I didn't want to come he was all offended and doubled his efforts to turn me into .... an anorak

No, he is NBU wanting to do it BY HIMSELF. He is being kind and considerate in understanding that you don't share his love of all things that chuff.

But agree that its a fab bargaining tool. Act all understanding and happy for him, then first opportunity you get, play the 'awwwww but I let you go off playing on the trains for a day....' card.

SAD!

Let him get on with it.
If you want a bit of a break then arrange something yourself for Sat so he can stay home with DS or if not just enjoy your weekend together!

Flibbery/Rookie - glad it's not just me who's married to an anorak!!

He also uses this forum I think it stands for Sad and boring road enthusiasts

But he is a good 'un and does loads with ds!

Bouncing Turtle - I was talking about my EX who became my ex partly because of him dragging me all over the bloody country on trains at great expense!

Dp is a lovely man whose hobby is FISHING and I know he's planning to say 'do you mind if I go fishing Sunday' when he just gets up on a Saturday, sees to the boys, takes them out and leaves me in bed.

'Let him get on with it' is the best way to describe it!

I think you should be saving every spare penny you can find to buy the man an anorak.

Sorry, that was meant to be funny but really wasn't.

To answer the OP - can there be a compromise of half a day on the trains, half a day with you and DS? I can see both POV - I suppose it's fine as long as you also get the chance to go and do your own thing at some point.

LOL @ Hassled!

Well weekend before last he took care of ds the whole weekend as I was laid up with a migraine!

let him have a day on the trains, he'll have worked hard & wouldn't normally see you then anyway, but insist on a) some 'you time' - you'll have worked hard this week with him away, and b) some family time, all three of you this weekend, to redress the balance. also insist he gets to bed a decent hour, so doesn't sleep & be pathetic all weekend after a hard week - my dh's favourite trick

I don't think he is a 'saddo', just because you are not interested in trains. Boys like that stuff, girls like other stuff. Let him go and enjoy, and ask for a day to yourself another time.

Flibberty DH used to do that with the train map, he's done virtually every passenger route in the country.

DH in his student days travel all around Britain by train, in a matter of a few days. He even kept a journal!