to think I should probably get a grip by now fgs!!!

[LoveMyGirls]

Last night I dreamt my ex (dd1's bio "dad" who I haven't seen for almost 10yrs) came and burnt down my house, it was a very vivid and horrible nightmare, today I'm thinking fgs how long will this go on for? I was only with him a short time, he did stalk me, break into my house and generally try and scare me, he also dragged me down the street by my hair, punched and kicked me, trashed my house (slashing doors and walls with a knife) but aside from the odd bruise he didn't hurt me and I did have counselling etc so why is it I'm still getting nightmares?

Surely I should have got a grip by now? If he hasn't bothered to find me or dd by now then surely he's not going to and I can stop living in fear?

I think that all your past memories are stored in a foto album that your mind kind of flicks through when you are sleep obviously pages that have picturaes that are traumatic are upsetting and cause like a knock on nightmare effect - i think this is normal i had a unplesant childhood and i still wake 34 years old petrified and shaking having dreamt im 12 again,.

Blooming scarey tho isnt it.

Hi,

my dd's father is missing (we think he is probably dead) and has been for a number of yrs.
He was also very violent and broke into my home on several occasions etc, i still dream about him as well.

My theory is that it is just your bodies way of coping with something your mind still sees as unfinished business.
I do still look twice if a van is parked in my street or i will get twitchy if the phone rings and the caller hangs up but rationally i have to get on with my life.

I don't think it is about getting a grip, your reactions are normal. I think it is about having a set of rational responses if you do have an off day.

ie, i know that i can dial 999 and get help if i needed to, i can slepp with my phone next to me. I can make sure someone always knows if i am going away etc etc.