To not invite more people to this meal?

[roisin]

In the team where I work there has been a relatively high turnover of staff whilst I have been there. There are 5 in the team, and over 3.5 years 4 have left. I got on particularly well with 3 of these, better than I get on with the current team, and still keep in regular contact with them (phone calls, emails, and texts.)

Two of them still live locally and we have met up several times over the last 18 months or so. A while back one of my current colleagues found out about this and said she felt hurt, so next time we invited her (and others) along too, and she did join us.

We're meeting up again in a few weeks' time and I don't feel want to invite her. She hasn't been in touch with these people, whereas I count them as my friends.

(I used to organise regular nights out with the whole team, but it was a lot of work, and quite frankly I can't be bothered any longer. If someone else were to organise one I'd be happy to go along.)

AIBU

No.They no longer work in your team so you have no obligation to them.

Does she need to know that you are going out? Personally, I wouldn't bother with her either, but then I am quite unsociable when it comes to work people!

Do you mean not invite the person in your team now?
Seing former co-workers outside working hours- why should you have to invite a current co-worker?

If it's your leisure time I don't see why you should invite people you don't want to.

I would be inclined to keep the current and 'old' teams separate and socialise with them independently.

So don't invite her this time, but next time you go out as a team don't invite the 'old' lot.

thank you

No, yanbu - the people you're meeting up with aren't colleagues anymore, is that right? And it's been quite a while since they left, so I think you're fine not to invite her. Just make noncommittal noises if she asks about a dinner.

Oh course YANBU she is, does she expect an invote to everywhere you go?

..this isn't a m*ldies analogy is it?

Thanks all. I've never had such single-minded agreement on mn before, and I half-anticipated a roasting.

I hadn't thought of that HelenBurns! Maybe this is why I wasn't seriously worried by the whole m*ldies thing