To wish (just wish) that someone would show even a tiny bit of interest in my boy.

[deanychip]

Neither the inlaws or my family give a toss about him it seems.

It makes me sad, so sad.

Dh has been away all week and not one phone call to ask how we are managing, do i need help with him?
How is he?

He hasnt seen my mother since about October last year, she never ever asks about him.

Hasnt seen the ils for a couple of weeks, only saw them because we went round there as it was Christmas.

I am bieng unreasonable in that i am putting unreasonable expectations on them. But still feel sad

That really is sad. I have a similar situation with my parents. I challenged them about it, but it got me nowhere. I decided to accept that it was their loss and put it out of my mind (as much as possible) otherwise it would have eaten me up. Can you do the same?

I get like this with my boys, when DS2 was born my mum only came once and didn't hardly look at him, and MIL didn't bother at all. At least you can be confident one person loves him very very much. {{hugs}} and {{hugs for you ds too}}

I'm so sorry. It is totally SHIT when it seems like relatives don't care. It hurts so much when it's your child, doesn't it?

Logically, there's nothing you can do and you have to right to expect anything from anyone (with the exception of your husband!) but that doesn't stop it hurting you. You feel the pain of what you see as a rejection of your child. I understand. My parents are not shining examples of the caring and involved grandparent and it hurts because I can't bear to think of any 'family' member not wanting my children in their lives, iyswim.

Sadly though, you can't make someone behave how you think they should - but you know that. Still, logic and emotion are often in conflict, are they not?

Re your husband - that's not on and you need to talk to him. He is the only one of the lot of them that you can demand more from!

Oh Deany that is a bit . How old is your little boy? Maybe he will develop a relationship with his grandparents as he gets older? Do you think they are interested in their own way but not good at expressing it? I think your dh needs to be told that a week without phoning home is unacceptable unless he had a really good reason.

I can relate a bit - I feel sad for my two when I see their friends with an adoring cast of grandparents and aunties etc.

yanbu

sorry for your shit family...they'll be the losers in the long run

We don't see DH's mum anymore (it has been 5 + years now - her choice), but even when we were in contact she never ever asked how the ds's were.

I am for you deany, it must be hard.

You just have to resolve to remember this when
a) they need their arses wiping and b) when you are the Grandmother.
No doubt our in laws will be on here saying they can't get rid of us and wish we'd go and get our own lives lol

SORRY! tons of phone calls from DH missing ds like crazy...meant no phone calls from his family who know that he is away.

My boy is 5
they have never really liked me so no change in relationship
they do drive, mil doesnt work.
fittish and well...able to take their beloved dog for a walk every day.
fil just not interested in any one but himself.

My parents...well they just act as if ds is nothing to do with them...in fact my mother dislikes my son. so i dont even ever think about her.

its the ils.

my mum lives 10 minute walk from our house, pils live 10 minute drive from our house.

Deanychip, all he really needs is a mummy who loves him very much which he has clearly got.

At the end of the day they are missing out on some wonderful moments. I know its hard and lonely sometimes but keep your chin up and enjoy your precious little one

I know, but im glad that you all see where im coming from with this.
Thanks guys x

It's crapola, isn't it? My parents are also pretty uninterested in my gorgeous DSs - mum will do a duty visit every now and then, but dad (they are separated) has almost zero interest. But then, they don't have any interest that I can discern in how me and my brother are, either, so maybe not totally unexpected. Still crap, though.

I make all the running, as I think the grandparent-grandchild relationship can be important - I was very close to both my grandmas, possibly because my uninterested mother used to send us to stay with them on a regular basis! But we don't get a lot back, and it's heartbreaking, as they are really missing out. Sod 'em. Poor you and DS, though - feel for you.

Deany just be thankful of the lesson they are teaching you - to never behave like thsi with your family. Ignore them, they are missing out on a relationship with your son - their loss.

I know what you mean though - my grandmother ignores my DD, so we no longer see her.

Deany, know exactly how you feel, and like you also feel sad and also a bit bewildered.
My dh works away, a week at a time, quite often too. IL's live just a short walk around the corner and we never hear from them. If I take a walk up with ds they always act as if we are intruding. And its not as if they live a busy life, very far from it. My parents are the same - months can go by without a phone call, they are a 20 min drive away. None of them are old.
But then both our parents were rather disinterested in us so suppose we were wrong to think this would change with our children.
Now I just concentrate on ds having a fab time just with dh and I, and try not to take it personally but it is hard.

He won't know that he is missing anything

a friend of mine never met her grandmother as she is mixed race and her gm is racist. SHe has no feelings about this at all.

but for you it is sad and must hurt

Your love is far far more important and he is far luckier than many children to have the two of you