to want my dh to lose weight the old fashioned way not lipo

[lipstickjungle]

i feel very upset that my dh wants to have lipo, he goes to the gymn at least 3 times a week and his waist is 36 inches which is not fat at all he feels very unhappy about this and wants to have lipo he says he has had no desire to have sex for the last two years as he doesn't feel sexual- iam upset as i have just had a baby and my boobs have gone south, my tummy is still out i tell him since we are in our 30's we can't be all svelte. Due to work pressure he says he cant exercise more, we can't even afford the extra expense i think he is just thinking of himself. His mom who is a size 6 always has a go at him, when i was pregnant i was size 18 but she bought me sweaters which were size 22, now iam 12 for xmas she bought me size 16 pyjamas. she fuels all this insecurity.

YANBU. Lipo will not help. Your husband, quite unusually for a man, sounds like he has a degree of body dysmorphia, i.e. a hatred of his appearance. These are the people who are never satisfied after surgery,and then fixate on some other aspect of appearance, so have more. He needs to address his self esteem (and mother).

Rempy you are right , i have suggested that he goes for therapy with his mom and dad and also alone as this is now beggining to affect our relationship he is an only child and i have been brutal so as to say he has dysmorphia too.

Well, lipo isn't going to cure insecurity...

I'm going to be quite blunt, but it feels like there is a lot more going on here -
he goes to the gym... but has he got a work out program designed to meet his goals?
he says he can't go more... there are loads of exercises that don't need a gym!

IMHO, I think gyms are overrated - get outside and get some fresh air!!! You need to agree what your goals are together and get cracking - sign up for a walk the walk, or marathon or triathalon (whatever takes your fancy!)

I know it's cold outside, but get the baby wrapped up and get walking!! Carrying a baby is great cardiovascular exercise! It is possible - I've just returned from my first skiing holiday with a 7month old... His favorite game was stomping in the snow (which needed me holding him up... no bingo wings here!!!)

You're 30, not 60, of course you can be svelte.. but no one is perfect. No-one. Not even Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.... You have got to learn to love who you are...

Haribo, he works in the city so leaves the hse at 6:30 to go to the gymn then works all day and is home by 8:00pm if he is lucky, he used to cycle to work with his suit on his back but it was just difficult, believe you me i am on the go all day.
i see you love skiing i have just registered our baby with the swedish olympic coach for 2011 he only takes 8 students every 3 years.

My Dh gets around this by living in a hotel all week - with a fully equiped gym! (I'm not kidding)... I look after our baby and dog at home... The dog needs at least 7 miles exercise a day, so I walk ALOT!! Yes, I adore skiing (and DS did too, thankfully! as he's going to be there alot!! haha!)

I just think exercise should be a pleasure, IYSWIM... I've signed up for the Moonwalk again this year (didn't do it last year, as it was the night DS was born!!!) and that is juts SOOO much fun...

sorry, but if he's had no desire to have sex for 2 years I think whether or not to have lipo is the least of your problems.

i don't have energy as i work from hme , have a dog and baby who is still not sleeping all night so for the sex i can live without temporarily but i do get the picture nametaken.

If he goes to the gym three times a week and he has a 36 inch waste I'd query whether he actually pushes himself at the gym and also what he eats / drinks. Something in the equation isn't right. I'd get him to have a few sessions with a personal trainer at the gym who will assess all these areas and target where he's going wrong.

Weight around the tummy is 99.9% diet, until he shifts that layer of flab by eating right all the sit ups in the world will not help.

I agree with the last couple of posts - simply going to the gym isn't the same as working out...

Lipstick - I don't see your point: YOu don't have the energy for what? You have a dog (who must ADORE walking!) and a baby who would probably really enjoy the fresh air (in the cold weather I pop a hot water bottle in DS's buggy and we go and feed the ducks) My DS is 7 MO and still not sleeping through too consistently, so I do understand where you are coming from, but sometimes getting out of the house and feeling the air and taking in the views is just what you need to feel refreshed!!

Where abouts are you? Can you find some mums in similar positions? I have two friends who have similar dogs and kids similar ages and it's a real bonus walking with them....

I am in west london, i usually walk along the river dog and take my baby to kew gardens as they do not allow dogs.
oh haribo not having energy i meant the sex bit. (am blushing) no iam actually as red as a tomato.