To drop a relative as facebook friend as he posts shocking photos?

[CHOCOLATEPEANUT]

My dh's sister is married to an Iranian and they have four children aged 16-26

I have linked up with all the girls on facebook and we share gossip and look at each others photos and its nice as we dont see much of each other

Yesterday i linked up with my 16 year old nephew and he confirmed me as a friend and i went onto his page to send him a message and see how hes doing.

He has just posted a picture on his page and for those who know facebook it appears as soon as you open the home page

The picture is of a child who has been killed in the gaza bombings and its very very graphic. I cannot describe what i saw as it would shock the reader and im very upset

i removed him as a friend and sent a message to his oldest sister to tell her to 'have a word'

i thought it was better coming from her as they are close than me as hes very much an angry young man

AIBU?

MI5 are monitoring EXACTLY this kind of posting/email traffic Idrankthechristmasspirits. The interview yesterday with the Director General yesterday made that very clear.

My involvement with the PREVENT programme (which is about preventing Muslim extremism) has a significant proportion of it dedicated to this kind of thing.

other things as in banishing daughter for wanting to make her own choices.sister in law went along with this. when the kids have all finished education they are going to iran as to use the exact phrase
this country is rubbish and so are the people

so there is an undercurrent yes.and seeing that photo has made me even more concerned.

I am more than aware of MI5 activities thank you. The op has not shown that her nephew is leaning towards extremism, he is displaying a picture that she objects to.

The only undercurrent is that you have differing views.

when i married dh, his family had a very strained relationship with sister.i had a very frank discussion with everyone and said that i dont care who shes marrried to,i come from a close family and i want my children to know all thier family and things improved and now we meet up regulary though granted i have closer relationship with eldest girl.

i am not racist or narrowminded.but i have met this young man and putting everything together, does make me concerned.

when we were out at christmas we were all chatting and having a nice time and he just sat there and stared.i asked his mum if he was ok and she said its a phase.my dh said he was worried that he might get involved with the wrong people and now i have seen his homepage i wonder

Oh ffs

There are cultural difference here, and you don't agree with them

They have some money and you are envious

Ergo son must be a future terrorist

I am parping myself

Ok, Chocolate, I take your concern at face value.
It's not completely irrational, I give you that.

I am curious now what his westernised sister makes of it all.

I think it's possible to see both points of view here.

I don't think that everyone from the middle east is a terrorist. It also sounds as if the op does have some jealousy issues wrt money (or lack thereof) here.

But I equally don't think we should be closed to the fact that extremism does exist in this country, and that a lot of those being drawn into it are young impressionable teens who feel strongly about what is going on in their countries of origin.

the 7/7 bombers were citizens of this country. They held down normal, every day jobs, they had normal families. And yet one of them made a video saying goodbye to his baby on the morning before he blew himself up and took a load of innocent people with him. And nobody knew he was going to do it.

Ordinary people.

lol at jealous.we have enough money and tbh i value more important things in life like good health and having a good dh and lovely kids!

sister in law married when she was very young and dh said she was a very quiet girl.eldest girl came to us when she was thrown out and said her mum cried everynight and she rowed with dh a lot

i try and get on with her and we manage ok but are very different!
she thinks i dress to young as i wear skirts over the knee on occasion and she is forever runnning down british people. she also very materialistic and thinks its 'dreadful' that i shop at primark! she sees no harm in buying a 700 handbag and has encourgaed her girls to have plastic surgery.

shes never worked 'you you stay at home to look after your children'

when i mentioned her son to her at xmas she said hes my baby hes ok its just a phase

i dont have issues with money i just thinks it really odd that they have money all of a sudden that all. she doesnt work and he made pizzas until last oct.maybe they won the lotto!!
good grief!!

Nothing that you have mentioned in the above post has anything to do with extremism.

If you value more important things in life why the face when you posted about not being able to get your dd a £700 handbag?

Black cab drivers earn very good money. Much better than delivering pizzas.

The picture is of a factual event - he must want to discuss it with his facebook friends. God forbid a young muslim should want to think about or talk about world events and maybe have a viewpoint.

Fair enough not everyone has the stomach for that sort of image but at 16 he probably hasn't grasped that yet. It isn't the crime of the century. Why not talk to him yourself about it?

i dont want my dd to want a 700 bag )shes 5 by the way

i was refering to eldest neice

i said better get your list ready for when she qualifies and she pulled a face and said she wont get anything like that as in shes not in favour

i know black cabs make huge amounts but you need a fair bit to buy one,and pay for plasic surgery,houses,700 bags

im off to get a job in that pizza shop, there should be a vacancy!!

Apologies for misunderstanding about the £700 bag.

You can get finance on black cabs the same as any other vehicle. You can get plastic surgery on credit too. Even bags

If he qualified in Iran then his degree may not be recognised here.

he qualified here
thats how they met, he was a student and she was too.she dropped out and got pregnant

Even so, his financial circumstances are largely unknown to you. It doesn't warrant a jump from posting photos you find unpalatable to implying a person or family may be extremists.

I have a friend who has family in Gaza at the moment. He cannot get out there and is understandably angry, upset and generally highly stressed. Communication is almost impossible.

He also passes round photos and literature like the one you described on occasion. He isn't an extremist, he wants to highight what is really going on.
All too often the news is sanitised for fear of causing offence, if we didn't challenge what we are led to believe we wouldn't have freedom of speech or a democracy.

I have thought about this and i think why it shocks me more than maybe another person is that its difficult for me to look at images of children who have died as I had a stillborn dd

i know a while ago on tv there was a doc about a little girl who was born without a face and at the time i watched it she was same age as my eldest dd and i cried for days after it

maybe i am just too sensitive

I'm sorry about your dd.
Best wishes. x x

thankyou
x

just had email from neice

she agreed with me and said she will talk to him as she found it very offensive

how ridiculous to suggest that he is likely to become/be an extremist because he posted a photo on Facebook! There are plenty of ordinary people who are frustrated by how little of the reality of the conflict is being reported, I don't agree with forcing images on people that they don't expect or want to see but I wouldn't think it meant anything more sinister if someone else did.