To think this was harsh on DS?

[MrsSnape]

First day back at school yesterday and DS2 has been in trouble already.

Apparantly someone pulled his hair during assembly, he did it back to the kid and the deputy head (who was taking assembly) went nuts and shouted at him to stand up. From then, he had to stand up in front of the entire school (where he sat) for the rest of the assembly.

AIBU to think this was a bit harsh? DS1 was also in the assembly and he said there were other kids messing around and they just got told to 'shush', it was only DS2 that was publicly shouted at and made to stand.

I'm sick of the teachers constantly picking on him. No wonder he never wants to go to school.

does he often get into trouble or was this a one-off?

poor thing!
how old is he?
YANBU

He is often in trouble but now that he has 'a name for himself' I'd say 40% of the time he isn't at fault. Just before Christmas he got into trouble for "Punching a 3 year old nursery child in the face" now I know he is no angel but that REALLY didn't sound like something he'd do...I had a parent marching up to me in the playground telling me he'd attacked her little boy. I told DS off, teachers told him off .... only for the 3 year old to say "It wasn't him! it was 'so and so"

Turned out 'so and so' had blamed DS because he knew full well everyone would believe he'd done it

He's 8 next month.

Hmmm..difficult. I guess the head thought they were making an exaple of him to punish him but also to dissuade others from misbehaving

i think you need to talk to the school about how to not make his reputation a self-fulfilling prophesy

Do you think I should say something? It was only a few weeks ago that I went in to say I was unhappy with DS having the "naughty boy" label and I felt as though he was being treat unfairly. They then told me DS was incredibly difficult to teach (which to be fair, I can imagine) but with incidents like the assembly ... why only DS standing up when DS1 told me there were 11 year old lads saying stuff like "whatever" "year right" etc everytime the teacher spoke! and all they got was a "shush"

But also check to make sure you've got both sides of the story - it is possible that the head gave him lots of warnings or that it was him that started it rather than the other child - don't go in all guns blazing until you're sure (I speak from experience!)

He will have been told many times at school that if someone does something to you you dont do it back but tell a teacher so he was in the wrong really. Also you only have his word that the others were messing around etc.

I would arrange a meeting and go and speak to the school about your concerns.

I think this is not the right time, because this time he was not innocent. It is perfectly possible that the deputy simply didn't see the headpulling incident until it was your son doing the pulling. Teachers can't see everything, and they can only punish things if they know about them.

You can't exactly march in and demand that the other little boy be punished in retrospect. Nor can you complain about the fact that your boy got punished when he was caught. The punishment seems reasonable for the offence.

I would leave it for now, drum into your son that he is not to retaliate in any bad behaviour- and then come down like a ton of bricks on the school when you catch them genuinely being unfair.