To want my mum to stop going on about my weight?

[MadameCheese]

I've put on 2.5 stone since DS (he is now 9 mo). I want to lose weight but at the moment don't feel I have the time or inclination. At last visit my mum commented on the size of my tummy and at that point I said I didn't want to hear it anymore and asked that she stop mentioning it. She has just said (again peering at my tum) "you know if you wore some control pants you wouldn't look so bad". Aside from telling her to piss off or actually losing the weight I'm not sure what else to do. Why won't she just leave it? (I did actually give her the finger this time though )

its apparently a mothers right?!?

have told my lot that they are banned from any comments re my children's weight if they are a little tubby when they're older

was told on Christmas day that although I'm huge on the stomach and breasts at least I didn't have a fat arse

no, YANBU and tell her if she has nothing helpful to say then sod off

I get it from my mother too, and my youngest is A LOT older than 9 months and I've always been a human rollercoaster. YANBU -- it is the one issue I have with my otherwise wonderful mother.

criticise something about her appearance? ie 'well I can lose weight at any time but you can't change your face'

I think they don't grow out of the phase lots of us as mums are in, whereby we point out to our children that their teeth need brushing, their hair needs washing, they've got a bogie hanging out of their nose etc

It's just horrible to have it done to you as an adult and, unfortunately, because it's our mother we can't answer in a sensible, rational, adult way so they just think we're being touchy.

Imagine someone with whom you did not have such a close relationship was saying these things to you. How would you respond?

LOL compo. Janni it's something I'm aware that I need to do something about but other people might actually take a hint.

YANBU. My Mum has similar obsessions with often seemingly random things concerned with me or DD. Last year she had a thing about how I washed clothes, i.e. I tend to bung everything in the machine on the same cycle. Checking labels and doing 5 piles of washing when 2 will do is not a priority for me but clearly is for her. She would go on and on about it and whenever I did washing at her house would interrogate me afterwards about which cycle I used. In the end I snapped and asked her not to talk about washing with me please. She was sniffy for a bit but at least it worked...now her latest thing is heated towel rails...don't ask...

I think you have to say something again - what was her reaction to your finger?

Oh my gosh I was going to rant about this! Over Christmas I was told I had gained "A LOT of weight," by my mother, who is worried about my joints and overall health apparently. For the record, I had a baby six months ago. "Yes, but you never lost the weight between baby one and two." I am back into my size ten clothes and am about 5'3". No, I no longer have the time to go to the gym four days a week. So, I guess I should be checking into a fat farm or auditioning for that show in the States, the Loser.

The not-so hilarious blind spot mum has is that she believes that my aunt is responsible for driving one my cousin's to anorexia because "She's so weight obsessed." So after her comment I said to her< "Do you reckon you're more or less obsessed with weight than X, after all Mum?!" Her response: "Oh look at those XMAS decorations"! Is that RUdolf?!"

I think some mums get hung up on how their dd look.

Me and my sister went through this a few years ago with mum.

My sister lost 3 1/2 stone and i found it . But mum would go on about how thin my sister was and how fat i was.

It was only when we pointed out that instead of dsister being the fat one and me being the thin one. When infact we were both the same weight and dress size for the first time ever. It just took her a little time get used to us looking different.

2.5 stone is a lot of weight to put on, and I don't really understand why you need time to lose it. If you don't mind, that's fine! But I guess she's just concerned about your health, and where you might go from here.

Your mother's just doing what mother's do, I'm afraid.

Tell her to read Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood; it's a wonderful example of the effect weight obsessed mums can have on their kids; good read too.

Don't think it gives her the right to be rude though. TBH I find I don't have time to think about or prepare a healthy lunch (or eat at times)

My mum isn't too bad for this, but my aunt and grandma are awful. Despite the latter being in a nursing home and pushing 90 and basically looking like a skeleton with a lot of skin draped over it, she seems very smug with herself for keeping her 'figure' while I am about 3 stone overweight. I haven't the heart to point out to her that she's old, stooped, and wrinkly herself so would she please shut up? Ditto my childless aunt who is nearly 60 and will point out normal-looking people on the telly out to me and say "look how FAT she is, it's disgusting". She's no stick insect herself but it also heading down the wrinkled-and-baggy-skin route, but I would never comment on it! That's before we get onto the fact I have a degree and a career and they've not got either, but still look down on me for being overweight (despite being pregnant 3 times in 4 years, currently 9 and half months gone!)

That was a bit of a rant but YANBU!