Had taken dc's out for last treat before school and nursery goes back tomorrow. After we binged on Paninis at Cafe Nero I bustled them into Primark to buy some socks and tights for school. Standing in the usual massive queue I was struggling to cope with basket, bags and my two boys (3 and 5), who were bored and who were lolling about. DD (9) went off to find some school trousers and I was trying to keep an eye on her, while conducting a slightly disjointed conversation with an old lady in the queue ahead of me who wanted to show me the tights she was buying for her granddaughter.
I suddenly realised that two women standing at the tills were looking at me and talking about me in loud voices, saying things about me. I looked back and said politely 'Sorry - excuse me?', at which point one of the women started having a go at me. She said my youngest had been lying on the floor and had kicked her, and that I shouldn't let my children be so inconsiderate of other people.
I said 'I'm very sorry - I didn't see him do it. I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose. I do apologise'. At that point, instead of graciously saying 'OK' and turning away, she just kept going, and her friend joined in, raising her voice and jabbing her finger at me. She was being really aggressive. She didn't seem to accept that I'd not seen him do it, and every protestation and apology from me seem to inflame the two of them further. Then the first one switched tack and started saying that I hadn't been watching them, and that I should 'keep my children under control'. The whole queue stood there watching and listening.
At this point I had a big lump in my throat and my two boys had gone really still and quiet. I bent down to my three year old and said 'This lady is really angry with mummy, and she's angry with you because you kicked her. Do you think you could say sorry to her?' which he did, looking her in the face. Reluctantly she acknowledged this apology with an 'OK', and then just turned her back on us and carried on a loud conversation with her friend about slack mothers who can't control their children and how bad it was........
I stood in the queue completely mortified for another five minutes until I could pay. Then I left the shop, steaming.
I've been stewing about it since getting home, and so wishing I'd said something to her about how aggressive her manner was... something like... "You know I felt really sorry that my tired three year old hurt you accidentally, and I wanted to apologise. I should have kept him closer to me. Sometimes as a mum you lose the plot a bit when you're under pressure. I wish I'd seen him do it because I would have said sorry without you needing to prompt me. But the thing is that you've dealt with it in such an inappropriately aggressive and judgmental manner that I'm actually starting to wish he'd kicked you harder. Why don't you learn how to communicate with people?'