to enjoy myself?

[Quadrophenia]

dp moved out a couple of months back, been split up for a bit longer. Met a boy on friday night i know from years back, he wants to see me again....I feel excied and full of dread, am i allowed to do this yet? Am i being disloyal? head is all over the place but i feel excited at the same time.

Enjoy yourself!!

if you like him, then go for it

I have this real exciting feeling, have been so worried about being on my own...I don't want a relationship yet but just being made to feel attractive and special is so nice. i do however feel really disloyal, it is like my xp still has a strong hold on me and i am very scared of him finding out.

Disloyal to who? Don't be silly. And DON'T you dare be scared

disloyal to xp, disloyal to the children. I really do feel very worried about him finding out anything, he is very unpredictable. I know i need to start being tougher on him, he still comes and goes and i don't feel like my house is my own space.

Change the locks and inform him that this is what you have done.

Been there, done this. iT's very hard. Let him be as unpredictable as he likes, if he starts being threatening and violent call the police. As for the children, don't you think they'd want ou to be happy?

In fact, Quad, I ORDER you to shag see this bloke. it would do you the very world of good.

I have thankfully never been in your situation, but Coldtits advice looks pretty good.

You have to think about YOU now and your children.

that is top advice thankyou, I particularly like being told to do it
I will ask him to give me his keys before we go down the lock changing route, just because so far it has been very amicable, its just knowing what he can be like that scares me.
I feel 16 again my stomach does a somersault when i think about it all.

If he is a control freak he will have made a copy of the keys, the nly answer will be to change the locks.

you are right, it feels like a big step

I know, it is a big step, but once the initial tantrum has blown over ("You can't stop me seeing MY KIDS, Rah rah rahh!") you will feel so much more relaxed knowing that he has to knock.

My ex walked in and out as he pleased for about 6 months until I came downstairs and found him sitting at my computer - and from then on I have made him knock.