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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to do a silly thing.....because I should be able to...

26 replies

mistypeaks · 03/01/2009 19:04

Basically... DH very reasonably gave me good and convincing reasons to quit smoking. I agreed. Gave total bank account control so i couldn't 'cheat'. I've lasted 3 months (the odd slip up at work) I now want to go and buy some fags. It will cause ww3. But I sooooooo want a fag. But if its my choice why shouldn't I make it for myself? Even though I know logically his choice is better.
I realise this is a crap question and will envoke a massive row.

OP posts:
QOD · 03/01/2009 19:06

it shouldnt create a row - you have done so bloody well its amazing!
I did that, but I was able to have the odd fag but not go back to smoking - if that makes sense!
However, seems a shame to waste all the last 3 mths effort (says she who shed 3 stone then munched it back on again!)

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 03/01/2009 19:06

don't do it - have you got children? just keep reminding yourself how much they need you and how they'll want you around for as long as possible. You've done 3 months which is amazing, you can keep going.

Leo9 · 03/01/2009 19:10

Looked on your profile; if you can't not get them for you, do it for your girls. If you get this pack, that might be the start of you not being able to stop again and that's going to make your daughters much more likely to ruin their own health with smoking.

You will smell bad. I pass/sit with smokers and like everyone else I am polite and don't tell them this but they SMELL.

Make it your decision, don't focus on what your DH will think. Think of the reasons YOU chose not to do it anymore.

Go and do a manicure/pedicure and read a mag instead!

StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 19:11

I can talk you out of it after an experience the other day - do yu want me to?

Original poster
mistypeaks · 03/01/2009 19:13

stelath - YYYYYYEEEESSSS ( the weaker side of me nooooo!)

OP posts:
memoo · 03/01/2009 19:14

I want you to stealth, i quit a year ago but still crave them sometimes!

deste · 03/01/2009 19:15

I went to visit someone today who as an alcoholic was dry for the last 2 years. He and his friend were surrounded by empty bottles of cheap cider. He sat there and told us he was only having a drink because it was christmas and he wasn't going back to his old ways. It was only temporary. We were so dissapointed in him as he had done so well. Do you really want to go back to smelling of an ashtray. As a child I remember the arguments my mother had with my father everytime he started smoking. Is it worth the arguments that will follow, it was not nice for us children. If you have children who are you putting first?.

Original poster
mistypeaks · 03/01/2009 19:16

Leo - the weird thing is I have had a lot of smokers sit by me post quitting and I've been very omg it does stink, but even so atm I am wanting to stink!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mistypeaks · 03/01/2009 19:18

Oooh don;t do the 'mother' thing!!! I'm not very good at it at the best of times. I know who should be put first.

OP posts:
StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 19:20

OK, was going to post this the other day under the title "Smoking should be banned" (and I'm normally pro choice)

I was in the doctor's surgery the other day, and there was a man in there majorly struggling to breathe. Not in a call-an-ambulance way, just how life is for him, it would seem. All his concentration was on breathing in, breath after breath. As he breathed out he grunted slighty. Every few minutes, he would drop his head into his hands through exhaustion - from merely breathing.
I wish you could have seen him because I'm really not doing this justice. He was obviously in major discomfort and breathing was a huge effort. How does he sleep? Shower? Walk anywhere? I doubt he works, or drives. I'm not a doctor but he looked like he had days to live without some serious intervention.
Now I know there's a chance that he wasn't a smoker btw, however anything that adds to the risk of leaving you trapped in your own body like that needs to be banned imo.
He was probably in his 30s or early 40s.

StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 19:22

I'm sorry I don;t think I did that justice. It just brought it home to me that breathing without effort is something I take for granted but you have to do it 24 hours a day - more demanding than parenting a newborn if you have to put in any effort.

If I catch Ds smoking when he's older I'll be arranging a trip to an emphysema (sp?) ward.

Original poster
mistypeaks · 03/01/2009 19:29

The horrific thing about it stealth is... In my smoking days if I ever caught a cold it would go straight to my chest and that is how I would be (at the tender age of 30!!) yet I would still manage to force a fag down at the appropriate time).
Pratt that I am - I do still fancy one

OP posts:
Ineedmorechocolatenow · 03/01/2009 19:42

Don't do it... you are doing so well!!! Keep it up, you should be so proud of all that you have achieved. It does get easier, I promise xx

Kimi · 03/01/2009 19:44

My mother will be having her leg amputated on Monday, smoking has helped this come about, but she is still doing it.

Take a look at your children and think if you would like them to be where I am now in years to come!

Original poster
mistypeaks · 03/01/2009 19:47

No Kimi - I wouldn't want to be responsible for making them sad. I'm very sorry for you and you're mom and wish her all the best for her op.
sooooo hard.

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gagamama · 03/01/2009 20:12

Your girls are beautiful and so is your wedding pic. (Sorry, nosey!) You want to be around to see their weddings, don't you? Much more than you want a fag?

You're doing really well, don't spoil it! Calculate how much you're saving and put it in an account for their weddings or university or something, therefore smoking = depriving your gorgeous DDs!

StealthPo09IsHere · 03/01/2009 20:29

I'm sorry mistypeaks - it is addictive I know!
Well, we've taken a vote, and the view is, you can't. And you wouldn't dare disobey MN would you?

iamaLeafontheWind · 03/01/2009 20:51

Go and do something else, anything to take your mind of the craving, as quick as possible... go take the xmas decs down or find a photo you'd like to frame. It will help, been there.

meandjoe · 03/01/2009 21:01

i'd eat an entire tin of quality street instead, just as naughty but so much nicer and not nearly as dangerouns, unless you do it everyother night like me

meandjoe · 03/01/2009 21:02

oh and btw dangerouns is the new 'funky' word for very very bloody dangerous. either that or a typo, ooops!

MollyCherry · 03/01/2009 21:03

From a slightly different point of view...

My mum gave up smoking in September of 2006, the day after my DD's birthday.

She had smoked for about 45 years (including during her pregnancy with me), and was getting on for 20 a day when she packed it in, by which time I'd long since stopped nagging her about it. She went cold turkey - no patches, no gum , no help lines - nothing.

I am SOOOO PROUD OF HER, and that is how your nearest and dearest will feel about you if you manage to stay on the straight and narrow, which believe me, is a lovely feeling for you and them (and a much nicer way to put yourself off than thinking of all the horrible stuff).

MollyCherry · 03/01/2009 21:03

Forgot - Good Luck!

LobstersLass · 03/01/2009 21:24

Don't do it!
I gave up smoking about three years ago for about 6 months. Then I had one. A month later I was back on a pack a day. Just don't do it.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/01/2009 21:25

I tried for 4 years to give up and finally managed because at that moment it was because I wanted to. It wasn't for any reason but for me and until you have reached that stage then I think that no one is ready.

WalkingInAWonderStuffingLand · 03/01/2009 21:32

Don't do it, its not worth it, treat yourself to something else for doing so well giving up for so long.