27 weeks pregnant and feel as though DH is losing patience with me

[Cookiemg]

over the past couple of weeks I have noticed that my husband is becoming less patient with me. I think it is because I am gradually becomng more incapacitated with my big bump, massive ankles and general lack of activity. I'm becoming more cautious about doing certain things that involve risk. We have just returned home from 5 days away with friends for new year. I saw a real change in him
In a positive way. He became life and soul of the party because he was around stimulating people who could get drunk. Often when we go out whereas we would have a couple of drinks and set the world to rights we now often sit quietly with not much spark between us. I'm worried that
He is worrying that his world will become so limited when the baby is here. He works so hard whereas I hardly work at all which makes me feel guilty, I feel inhibited about asking him to do planned family things on his day.
What is annoying and hurtful is that he treats me the same way that I treat my Mum. I get irritated with her because she moves slowly and is cautious about eVerything. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

I'm sort of experiencing a similar thing with my DH, although this is our second baby and due to my increasing size (I'm 31 weeks) I'm less able to do stuff with our DD who is nearly 3.

It is a massive shock to the system when two becomes three - this is the thing I struggled with the most when DD was born. Suddenly I realised that we would never have the spontaneity that we had as a couple, and our whole family dynamic was about to change. It does take a while but it's absolutely worth it. No, we don't go out as much and when we do we draw straws to see who will be on the "early shift" in the morning. The nights out are well planned in advance - although for me, this is much better as I get to look forward to them and REALLY enjoy them!

Your DH sounds like he's beginning to realise that this change is coming, and he's beginning to deal with slightly earlier than most (which is a good thing). My suggestion would be to sit down and talk to him - as far as the pregnancy thing is concerned don't be too worried, it's absolutely definitely temporary and you need to reassure yourself, and him, that you'll be back to normal within a very short period of time after the birth. Certainly don't worry about him becoming someone different around other people.... he's probably just reacting to you becoming more of a recluse. Again, you need to reiterate to him that your change of pace and attitude is temporary and and once your DD / DS is born things with change again.....
HTH x

I am pregnant with my 3rd (28 weeks) and I keep thinking that my DH is getting fed up of me too! I have a feeling that it is just down to hormones and being vunerable. I also find that I am very hard on mysef - I am very fustrated by the limitations pregnancy can bring for some women (I am one of them). remember that pregnancy is short and you will be feeling much more able to do things soon enough.

I have got him a 'blokes guide to pregnancy' book but he hasn't read it. We are surrounded by friends with children and a lot more friends are having babies in April, May and June. I have tried to explain the changes and I feel as though I am moaning a lot as I am disliking all the changes. I get the feeling that I am a lasting reminder that there is more responsibility to come and he doesn't like the way that I have changed. If he was life and soul one day then quiet, physically disabled and generally dull the next I would worry and become insecure that this would be life. I can only reassure him that I don't intend life to change forever.

Thanks for your help

I have just spoken to him about the fact that this won't go on forever and reassured him that my personality will return! He shrugged his shoulders and said 'whatever'. I had a similar kind of non-plussedness when we became pregnant. We experienced a miscarriage at the beginning of the year and when we became pregnant in June he was 'remote' for a couple of months. My friends said that it was because he was worried about miscarrying again and what that would do to me and us as a couple.

Well, he sounds a gifted communicator and a supportive husband

He has clearly agreed to try for a child so he needs to shape up a bit IMHO. It is difficult for a man to feel connected to the whole thing as it's not a physical experience for them and many men are very literal and won't spend hours thinking about things that haven't happened yet; even so losing patience and being irritable with you and saying 'whatever' to a valid chat from you about how things are now, sounds more like Kevin the teenager than a married man who has chosen to have a family.

He needs to be supportive of you and thankful that you are going through this sometimes difficult physical experience IMO

He sounds as though he needs to be more supportive, men can sometimes feel a bit "detached" from what's going on with the pregnancy in my experience.

I had issues with my dh when I was pregnant with my first, (I was working full time up until about 32 weeks so it was slightly different).

However our main issues were that I was so excited about the baby + even though my dh was over the moon too, we expressed it in different ways.

For instance, coming back from our 20 week scan having found out the sex I was all upbeat + chatty, talking about baby names and what colours we should paint the baby's room etc, whereas he was irritated, "Oh it's a long way off yet, you've got all these ideas one day + the next it's all changed, JUST CALM DOWN!!"

For the record he's a great dad to our two, + at both 12 week scans he was showing the picture to his work colleagues! We just had different ways of expressing it all.

I havent read the blokes guide to pregnancy but part of the problem with men anyway is that (and I generalise, sweepingly, here ) they tend not to like being told what they are likely to be thinking, because then they have to address those nasty little blighters like feelings and emotions.

Me and DH had a bad patch mid-pregnancy (which was exacerbated by a family bereavement), but a lot of which also boiled down to our joint but separate anxieties about the pregnancy, the future, and the coming changes to our lives. We have female support networks and can talk about our anxieties - men dont talk about their feelings with one another so worries get bottled up.

This is of course a massive oversimplification of what is happening, but I think pregnancy forces us girls to confront the inevitable changes which are going to happen to us (less drinking, going out etc), whereas men stick their metaphorical fingers in their ears until they cant ignore it any more (i.e. when the baby is born) then! )and then (and this is the good part) all of a sudden you are b=oth completely on the same wavelength (at least this is what happened to me and many friends and family).
If your and your dhs rel. follows the pattern my prgenancy did, you may find the slight tension/disparity between you and your dh gets a bit harder before it gets easier, but we really relaxed again from weeks 38-40 and after babe came along....

• well put it this way, tonight I had to force DH out of the door to go to a mate's stag night. He wanted to stay in with me and the baby and before he did finally go he made a collage of his fave baby photos to show the other 14 blokes on the stag (all rugby playing second rows built like brickshithouses). I hope this is helpful. Its not like preg isnt difficult enough without having to look after your relationships as well as your growing baby! Keep your chin up.