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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or was my mother?

49 replies

LynetteScavo · 03/01/2009 16:40

DM invited us (me and 3DC's)to lunch.

Before lunch DS2 goes into garden to play, and comes back in saying it's very cold and his hands are cold. DM says "yes, you really need gloves for playing outside today"

After lunch DM sugests to DC's they may like to go to the park. Of course they want to. I say it's too cold to go to the park, and there is no way I'm going out. DM assures me it's really "not that cold".

So they set off - while I wait for them to return. After about 15 mins they come home; DS2 is crying becuase his hands hurt. DM looks at me (with that look only she has ARGGG!) and says "Mummy can we bring gloves next time we go to Granny's please"

Well, actually no we can't because becuase if I took evrey item for every evenuality with us every time we went out, we weould need to tow a caravan behind us.

ARGGGGG!!!

OP posts:
mummyfantastico · 03/01/2009 20:13

Why drive when you live so close?

Leo9 · 03/01/2009 20:17

mf that was my thought, maybe there is a good reason but TBH if it's 2 mins drive - better to stick hats coats and gloves on and walk there and then you are dressed for the weather anyway!

ravenAK · 03/01/2009 20:30

I wouldn't've had gloves either, probably - I don't feel the cold myself so have to make conscious effort to remember hats/gloves/scarves for the dc!

Maybe you should get a cheap set of each for all dc, pref. those magic gloves from the pound shop so they fit everyone. Bung in carrier bag, shove in car, forget about till needed.

(In fact, I should do that too...)

But I do think your mother was being a tad unreasonable - she knew the dc didn't have gloves before she hauled them off to the park, you'd already said you thought it was too cold - unfair of her to get sarky with you about it.

littleducks · 03/01/2009 20:38

how old your dc? can you sew gloves on elastic?

the thing is the op made a small mistake with no gloves but granny made that a bigger deal and made op feel inadequate and with kids you always forget something

MilkMonitor · 03/01/2009 21:49

My DCs refuse to wear gloves on even the coldest days. Grrr. Then they howl with pain as they get that weird ache when their hands warm up.

Not YABU really. There's always so much to remember. When a parent forgets something or is a bit remiss, it's dead easy to make them feel utterly crap. And weak IMO. Feck off.

Just chuck a few pairs in the car boot so that they're always there so when your DM says stuff you can whip them out and look super efficient. Or put a few on a string and thread them through your DCs coats.

cat64 · 03/01/2009 21:59

This reply has been deleted

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ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 03/01/2009 22:06

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Original poster
LynetteScavo · 03/01/2009 22:34

Actually I know I'm not being unreasonable - (and neither does my sister who was also there - I've just spoken to her about it)

We arived at DMs with only enough warmth for a short car journey - DM was aware of this, yet marched DC's off to the park. There was no need to them to go -she just fancied a walk and they were a good excuse.

I'm there saying "I don't think you should go - it's too cold" but DM won't ever listen to anything I say regarding my children - becuase she is in charge of the whole family. Apparently.

She even quizzed DS1 as to whether he owned gloves (they all point blank refuse to have them on string/ ribbon to the point off taking scissors to them) to which he replied we have a whole bag full - in the understiars cupbard - next to the caots and shoes.

DM thinks I'm unreasonable to then say to DC's " You need to bring your own stuff out of the house - I can't follow all of you around with gloves, book bags, etc.

Don't get me started on book bags - when will they remember to pick up the darn things and take them to the car?????

Anyway - my point is we were apopriately dressed for lunch with relatives but not for wandering around the neighbourhood - so she shouldn't have taken them.

OP posts:
Original poster
LynetteScavo · 03/01/2009 22:36

CAt64 - lunch wasn't served to me - but that's a whole different story!

OP posts:
seringoutthosebellstonight · 03/01/2009 22:37

Oh heck, I must be a really crap mum, but ours spent 2hrs cycling and playing football with us in the park today and non of us had gloves, or hats, or scarves and no one complained of feeling cold!

In fact I don't think any of us possess any!
We are going skiing for the first time this year though so will buy some!

Then again we are happy to camp in February Kids are like seedlings you just need to harden them off! and if they are very active the exercise keeps them warm.

newgirl · 03/01/2009 22:39

it sounds like you have made your mind up

when we visit mum or anyone really we always go out for a walk or to a park as the kids get bored indoors and start climbing walls - we are out in all weathers even for 20 mins - where was your spontaneity on this occasion? next time take gloves and a magazine and expect her to take them out and get some time off - i wouldnt have a go at her for it

prettybutterfly · 03/01/2009 22:42

She does sound like she likes to wrong-foot you, OP. Definitely annoying.

BUT, gloves are a given. If crocs are a no-no (very funny in yr post - like that in my house!) then gloves are a yes-yes. They go in pockets and then they are there whenever you need them.

Ya BOTH bu. So there!

piscesmoon · 03/01/2009 22:51

Perhaps from now on you could leave some spare gloves at your mother's house-then you won't have to think about it.

alicet · 04/01/2009 16:57

My initial reaction was the same as many of you - that I would have taken gloves out with me on a cold day and the op was BU.

However on reading the rest of the thread thats an insane thing to think. Honestly how many of you would really be bringing gloves if you thought you were just out for lunch? Certainly not me.

Liking the idea of granny's socks on hands though - I'll remember that!

roisin · 04/01/2009 17:16

We tend to always take outdoor gear with us wherever/whenever we're going, because we are quite outdoorsy people. Certainly when the boys were little we woudl always combine a visit with a walk for some freshair, as we all got cabinfever. Now (9 and 11) it's not quite that bad.

But I accept that some people have different lifestyles. My db and sil came up for the day (long distance) during the holidays and didn't even bring coats with them for any of them (including 21 month-old dd), let alone hats or gloves or a pushchair.

nappyaddict · 04/01/2009 22:54

Well we go to lunch every sunday at my nans. I always take hat, gloves and coat cos sometimes he wants to go outside in the garden or to take the dog for a walk with nanny.

plantsitter · 04/01/2009 23:02

The gloves issue is beside the point really. That turn of phrase has irritated ME and she's not my mother! I hate it when people do that passive aggressive 'being the child' voice (can you tell this is something my own lovely mum would do too...?).

Tortington · 04/01/2009 23:04

i don't think i could ever have found 3 pairs of gloves if their little lives depended on it.

load · 04/01/2009 23:11

My kids have a pair of clothes per coat, and a pair of gloves each in my main coat. Yes thats excessive, but I would hate them to have cold hands. I on the other hand have no gloves

load · 04/01/2009 23:13

oops A Pair Of GLOVES Per Coat.

MerryMadMarg · 05/01/2009 11:49

YANBU to not have had the gloves, but YABU to then turn around and say - no we can't go to grannies with gloves because then we would be taking too many things. Not having them once is understandable, but to dig your heels in and refuse to make sure they have them when they visit again? Weird and very unreasonable.

Fimbo · 05/01/2009 12:01

H & M have a 4 pack of gloves for about £2 in the girls section (one pair is purple but the rest are greys and blues suitable for either sex). Buy them and keep them at grannys?

load · 05/01/2009 21:13

I was thinking about this thread today, I went into ds coat pocket to get his gloves ... he had three pairs of gloves in his pockets.

Lancelottie · 05/01/2009 21:32

I don't think we have any pairs of gloves... possibly around 15 right-hand ones, but no noticeable pairs...

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