To think weird that in-laws expect me to travel after giving birth.

[ChocFudgeCake]

Due date is last week of July (if this time everything goes ok, 2 m/c before). They live abroad, 2 hours by plane. They are already saying things like "Next summer, when you come, blah blah..." We have 2 children, so school starts in Sep for them. That leaves only August for holidays. Somehow I don't see myself going anywhere near an airport within one month of delivery, arggh. I don't want to point it out now because they might start planning to come over (scary).
Isn't it common sense? I mean she HAD a child (and a bad episiotomy) she should know better.

yanbu - agree on the keeping quiet aspect.

If your pil keep insisting then tell your gp so your dh can sy it's medical orders that you stay in your home to recover.

hi chocfudgecake, i had much the same with my mil... i thought i would be ok, ready to travel, let mil look after baby etc. in reality i had a cs, was very ill and weak, really could not have messed about with baby photos for baby, sending off, as just wanted to stay home and bf
mil came instead, but we had v diff ideas of babycare, ie she belived babies should be left to cry, be bottlefed by her and i should not bf, do all my washing (not a good idea, personally i found my washing a bit personal afterwards) very stressful, and wish i had said "no decisons will be made til after!" at least a month after..

arrange to go christmas time, next spring or at end of season of cheap flights? they should visit you really, tbh, imo. you might want to wait til baby has had early jabs and stuff before you travel.

I think they are being very unresonable, to expect you plus newborn plus other dc plus associated bits and pieces of kit etc to travel to them.

I am sure I have heard that its not recommended for newborns to fly, all that recycled air and germs, changes in air pressures etc,

you would probably have to take dc straight from labour ward to get his/her passport done in time.

I wouldn't tell them this now but obviously no passport no travel and delays in the passport office are TERRIBLE in the summer and hovever much you would have LOVED to come its just not possible without a passport.

I think you would be crazy to travel. There are many easy excuses that won't offend them - you have health visitor appointments, check-ups, are establishing breast feeding or would have to carry too much sterilising equipment, of course passport issues, and it's just not possible this year.

I agree that MILs often see you as a vessel for reproducing their son - yes, their son, my MIL was delighted that I had produced 'a female dh'. A couple of weeks after my c-section, they came for a few days to 'help', but help means 'hold the baby', while the tea things pile up, the bathroom gets dirtier and is left uncleaned, and I was cooking complicated risotto etc from scratch every night, without even the washing up being done for me. DH busy with our toddler and hiding from my wrath (but he still wouldn't ask MIL to give me a hand/break).

Then again, I suppose spongecake shows how hard it is for MILs to know how much they should help with housework! A lot of women don't want someone taking over their house. (but you can take teacups into the kitchen without offending anyone, IMO)

Thanks everyone
I'll stay put. The passport issue is very much on my side, since DH and I are different nationalities, none british, and it is quite an expedition to go and queue at the Italian consulate Summer is out of the question, it is always crowded.

I'll tell the midwife to write something saying that for my mental health I need to spend the first year of baby's life at home!

Don't be pressured. If they push you to make any plans, just tell them that until after the baby is born you won't be making any decisions. If they decide to descend on you, then find a b&b nearby and send them the details.