Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to expect dh's family to know you can't give whole peanuts to a 2 year old?

50 replies

LovelyBertha · 02/01/2009 16:05

I genuinely don't know if I've stewed about this for long enough to blow it completely out of proportion- please tell me if I am right to be upset, or if I should get over it, because it's really not that important.

We're at PIL's house over xmas. BIL & SIL are there too. I go upstairs for somthing, and leave DS with them (DH isn't there at the time). I come downstairs to find DS and nephew (who is also 2) helping themselves to peanuts from a big bowl that has been put on the coffee table, as they play a game that involves running around the room. I say 'can we put this up here please?' and move the nuts where they can't reach them. SIL law says 'why, is he allergic?'. I say that no, he's not allergic, but they might choke. I explain you're not really supposed to give whole nuts to kids under 4- to which SIL replies 'Well, I've never heard that before', MIL says 'neither have I' and FIL says 'Rubbish!'.

I now feel reluctant to ever leave ds in their care. I suddenly feel like my son's own family are not capable of taking care of him, and it has really upset me. I don't think I'm over protective, this is pretty basic stuff isn't it?

OP posts:

Astarte · 02/01/2009 21:12

what a load of bloody rubbish!
based on what? where's the research to suggest a child under 4 will be more likely to choke fgs?

Under 2 years, fair enough, but once they have back teeth they should eat anything you do (within reason) and all meals should be supervised anyway.

Absolute madness! They can choke on anything if it will go in their mouths and down the wrong way.

Only exceptions to nuts rule is for allergies as far as I can see.

Astarte · 02/01/2009 21:13

Is he your first child? That would make sense if he is.

nappyaddict · 02/01/2009 21:13

We had a xmas party at toddlers. We had grapes, cherry tomatoes and whole nuts. All the babies are 12 months+ and no one banned their children from having them or cut them up. I would cut them up for a 6 month old baby yes but not once they are confident at eating so I think YAB a bit U.

missorinoco · 02/01/2009 21:14

you are allowed to be concerned your child may choke adn you are the parent, so your rules get to stand.

having said that, fil just sounds tactless. sil and mil sound embarrased and defensive (they probably think you will now be scared to leave your children with them...!)

Leo9 · 02/01/2009 21:22

I have always heard (ever since I was much younger) that whole nuts should not be given to kids under 5.

I would give peanut butter etc to an over 1 yr old but would avoid peanuts for sure with an under 5 yr old. Thought that was quite standard advice really.

YANBU, they should respect your view.

noonki · 02/01/2009 21:22

I've just asked a paramedic (who I know!)

and they reakon that nuts are a choking hazard but not as dangerous as whole grapes (v.hard to pull out even by paramedics)

Leo9 · 02/01/2009 21:28

Just checked - government advice via the food standards agency states not to give whole nuts, including peanuts, to children under 5.

i think that should be good enough for your relatives, LB.

blueshoes · 02/01/2009 21:56

My 2.3 year old ds was tucking happily into a bowl of peanuts over New Year's. He would previously grind it up but spit it out. I was thinking, hmmm, better watch out for anaphylaxis. But he was ok.

I agree with Achinoyx that boiled sweets - they are more dangerous. Even those lollipops on sticks can come off the sticks. My dd has twice choked on these - in both cases, they went down her throat slowly but it gave her a huge fright. She won't go near them anymore. I am now extremely cautious about these.

chloemegjess · 02/01/2009 21:58

I find it hard to work out why people would give cut up nuts for a 6 month old? Why would you want to give it to them? I really don't understand!

Dragonfly74 · 02/01/2009 22:05

My PIL looked after my DS when he was 17mths old and sent him home with half a packet of extra strong mints, When I made this face at them they laughed saying you should have seen his eyes watering!!!!
I was bloody livid, needless to say he never visits them without me or his dad now.

nappyaddict · 02/01/2009 22:23

chloe - if you are eating them and they show an interest in trying them why not? no different to them trying any other food. also if i was making a curry or whatever i would use chopped nuts not whole nuts.

TheLadyEvenstar · 02/01/2009 23:42

a 6m old?

Leo9 · 03/01/2009 00:19

but if it goes against govt advice why ignore that, if you wouldn't ignore advice on when to wean, how to avoid SIDS etc?

butterscotch · 03/01/2009 00:37

Its a personal thing for any parent...

My outlaws as I prefer to call them, give chocolate and cake when MIL is diabetic I mean FFS!!!! get a grip...

anyway btw...i did blw and at 7months was giving peanut butter on toast (LO didn't like it!)

this nye she was just over 18months and was loving the chilly nuts now i was with her the whole time, after about 6 over 2hr period she spat the last one out chewed...

its all about confidence in your child and the carers.....

Tortington · 03/01/2009 00:42

didn't actually know this at the time, i would have assumed a choking hazzard, of course, but then many years later someone said "you can't give them peanuts until they are 6"

i can remember clearly thinking - oh shit, really, i didn't know that.

i suspect mine had been having peanuts a long time before they were 6

Linnet · 03/01/2009 01:18

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I would also have moved the peanuts out of reach of a two year old especially if they were running around while eating them.

I know that my dd2 had peanuts probably when she was round 2 or 3 but it was under supervision and she was sitting down and wasn't allowed to move while eating them.

I guess a lot of it depends on the child and whether or not they are supervised. Some will give nuts to young children others will wait until they are older, it's all dependent on the individual.

sunnygirl1412 · 03/01/2009 01:22

If the OP doesn't want her lo to have peanuts until they are 4 (or 5), then she is not being unreasonable to want her in-laws to abide by this decision.

However, I am increasingly concerned that people are relying on government advice/guidelines to guide their parenting. What's happened to people using their common sense? After all - I suspect that it's the educated and intelligent parents who are worrying about this sort of stuff and who are looking up government guidelines - and the parents who probably need the advice wouldn't worry about what age to give their kid a peanut, let alone consult a government guideline.

By all means read the advice, but please let's take it with a pinch of salt (ohhh heavens, salt - that's another government no-no, isn't it). These guidelines are written in a litigious culture, and are therefore probably over-cautious. After all, as far as the government is concerned, better to set the guidelines too strictly than have a parent sue you because you told them something was safe and their lo was hurt.

I hope that all this makes sense - I have to admit that I have been at a party, and have had a certain amount of wine, so my mental thoughty processes are a little squiffy - like the rest of me.

fortyplus · 03/01/2009 01:49

When mine were little (they're 13 and 15 now) the advice was peanut butter ok at 6 months but no whole nuts till 3 years and even then only under supervision because of the choking hazard coupled with the risk of lung damage if the did inhale a nut.

So no excuses for parents of children as old as mine to be giving peanuts to a 2 year old!

sarah293 · 03/01/2009 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

blueshoes · 03/01/2009 10:37

Agree with sunnygirl about being sensible about government guidelines. They are issued with the lowest common denominator in mind.

And I am as sober as a judge.

belgo · 03/01/2009 10:41

yabu. I didn't know this. soft things like grapes are more dangerous because they are soft and more likely to conform to occlude the whole of the wind pipe, and once they are stuck, are near enough impossible to get out.

But it's common sense to supervise children of this age eating nuts.

chloemegjess · 03/01/2009 12:17

Does anybody know the actual age guide to whole grapes?

Lubyloo · 03/01/2009 12:35

YANBU. I thought it was common knowledge not to give children under the age of 5 whole nuts. I certainly remember my mum abiding by that when my younger siblings we little (and that's neatly 20 years ago)

Seona1973 · 03/01/2009 13:24

I thought it was common knowledge too that under 5's shouldnt have whole nuts due to the choking risk. I have let my 2 year old try them under supervision but he just gagged on the little bits he made by chewing so I will leave him a while longer. DD (5) also doesnt like whole nuts. Both however have had peanut butter from between 9-12 months with no problems. As far as I know nut products are ok from 6 months as long as there is no history of allergic diseases and should be avoided till at least 3 years if there is a family history.

From Babycentre:

Nuts

It's true that you shouldn't give whole nuts to children who are under five years old, because of the risk of choking. But nut butters and ground nuts are fine for babies over six months old and children who do not have a family history of allergies.

Serious allergies to nuts and nut products and some seeds affect less than one per cent of the population. Your baby may be at higher risk if you, your baby's father, brothers or sisters have certain allergic conditions such as hayfever, asthma and/or eczema.

If your baby is in this higher-risk group, avoid eating peanuts and peanut products while pregnant, during breastfeeding and during the introduction of solid foods. Until your child is at least three years old, peanuts and peanut products should be avoided.

If you think your child might be allergic to peanuts, contact your GP who can arrange for your baby to see an allergy specialist.

If you do not have a history of allergy in the family, you can give your baby ground nuts and nut spreads, including peanut butter, from six months.

Horton · 03/01/2009 13:45

I'd be more concerned about running around while eating than the whole nuts, tbh. Surely anyone can see that's plain silly for very small children?

Flip

1 2