to want another baby?

[flourybaps]

O dear I think maybe I am, but tell me, I can take it!

We always agreed just to have one baby for many reasons, financial, emotional, practical (house size, money, our ages, devote time and energy to one child) My dp still feels the same, Im changing my mind, we are at an impasse.

I had a difficult pregnancy (i hated being pregnant!) followed by a traumatic birth and a broken fanjo which is being repaired in feb for which I will need to take 2 months off work to recover. I had pnd and it has ben really difficult. There are lots of reasons why we shouldnt go through all that again and perhaps should just enjoy our dd who is 7 months old and the light of my life.
I just feel my family is not complete, my dp wants the snip! what to do, I dont know.....

do nothing just yet. have your operation, recover and wait - one or both of you may feel differently then. good luck.

YANBU, but there is also no rush! We have an only DD, but when she was 6/7 months I had a period of broodiness which trailed off. In retrospect I am very glad that we didn't have another because it wasn't what I really really wanted. I suspect it had something to do with hormones and not wanting to go back to work and so on.

So as I said, you are not being unreasonable at all, and of course you are allowed to change your mind, but I think you need to be abit mindful of your dp's feelings too. He also might come round in time.

Thanks for your responses, mima you have a good point, im due to return to work next week albeit only for a matter of weeks until I have my op. Im just hopeless at shutting up about things and waiting it out!

My dp wants to make an app to have the snip sooner rather than later, it makes me feel very sad.

Tell him to hold off if you can. Things change and you never know whats round the corner. We had our first 2 girls within 17 months of each other cos we thought we'd get the whole baby thing over and done with.

Five years later we were both broody and my son came along and now he is 5 and i'm over the hill, more mature , but if i won the lottery 2moro i'd defintely want one more

YANBU at all to want another, but I agree with all the other posters that you should give it a bit more time. Could you compromise with your DP and ask him to delay the op until Xdate in exchange for you dropping the subject? That way you could revisit the subject when you're not both feeling so raw from the pnd and so on.

How about as a compromise agree to get a mirena coil put in which is as effective a a vasectomy so that he can be happy that you are both using the most effective form of contraception while you try to resolve this but you don't have to do anything irreversible?

Oh alicet I take your point about contraception but I realy could not face having a coil fitted, I doubt they would get a coil in at the mo, the state of me! Sorry far too much info, hopefuly things will be sorted in that dept after my op in feb.

The contraception issue is difficult, I dont want to go back on the pill tbh cant have anything internal, was thinking about that injection thingy but concerned about hormones playing up......... hence dp wants the snip, (we got pregnant in my first month of the pill) not so much of an issue right now, what with the broken fanjo but def something we have to sort out at some point.

Off the pill!

could they stick it in when you're having your op? Depends obviously what they are actually doing but presuming they are just repairing fanjo / pelvic floor and not touchign womb and cervix I wouldn't see why not?

understand if it is not for you but just a thought...

ermmmm not even thought of that....... maybe an option? I think thats how ill tackle it. think of some good effective contraception and ask him not to have the snip for a year and then we can think again.

Prob all too much pressure for him at the moment, ill have to be good and shut up about it and just enjoy my dd and hop all goes well with my op.

Thanks everyone, good advice.

If you don't want the coil, what about a hormone implant. T

www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/23069137/

hen you could ask your husband to hold off having the snip. He might be quite relieved as many men are scared of having a vasecomy. A hormone implant could potentially give you three years of contraception (although you can remove it)

I think that sterilisation is too permament decision if your feelings about life are marred by postnatal depression.

I know how you feel! Im soo broody at the mo, but our dd is too young in my opinion anyway. I would rest and recover after your op before contemplating it and just enjoy your dd being little!

Thanks reallytired for the link useful info, going to try and talk dp into making no decisions either way for a year, let the memories all fade a bit! Plus give myself time to get over this op.

floury, I thought I didn't want another after my second. We had one of each and dh didn't want another. he got the snip and now I regret it dreadfully. I really want a 3rd and now its too late . dh said he was too tired and old etc after having our second and couldn't imagine taking on more. Now a few years down the line we realise there is space for another and we are sad we didn't wait.

So tell dh hold on, you don't want to regret anything irreversible!!!