to tell the childminder I won't be using her on the day we were supposed to sign up the contract?

[possiblymaybe]

A bit of history..

In Oct I have contacted the childminder recommended through someone. I don't drive and she lives too far away from me to travel to her-it would take up to hour to travel to her and it would required 2 buses.

I only contacted her as someone I know told me that she picks up anther mindee from my area. I called her and she was very happy to take my dd on and told me it won't be a problem at all to pick her up in the morning.

So we started settling in..

in the end of Nov she tells me she going to take another 2 children on part-time but it won't affect my dd and she woul do picks up as agreed.

Then in middle of Dec she announces she's been doind fostering course and is about to take 2 foster children on and consequently she won't be able to pick up my dd as she will have to take them to school.

I was livid as dd was to start with her on 5th Jan and it was to late to find some one to replace her at that point.

Luckily my mother has just agreed to stay with me (I'm a single parent) untill I sort some thing out.

I'm just about to call her that I won't be using her and I feel guilty but justified because of her behaviour to do it. But maybe I am being unreasonable?

Thanks for getting so far!

How much notice is in the contract? And did you pay her a deposit? Also, might the ratio of kids to minder be too many given her extra mindees?

Hope you het this sorted, I've been there before and had to rely on last minute arrangements to get back to work.

Forgot to add that she didn't get foster children in the end and she is free to do pick ups now but only untill she will get another offer of fostering. Which could be at any point really

No, you are totally reasonable - she sounds a bit up in the air tbh. Can you not find someone close?

We didn't sign up the contract yet and I haven't given her any money but feel guilty to let her down at last minute although she was not honest with me.

I wouldn't feel guilty - she mucked you about didn't she?

Why should you feel guilty? Don't! She's changed her side of the agreement; you're entitled to do the same.

Good luck with finding a great new CM. IME I'd go with another recommendation, if I were you.

find someone closer to you, then you won't have to rely on anyone else, she doesn't sound very reliable and is into fostering cos it makes more money?

Thanks..I'm trying to find courage to call her and tell her I won't be using her.
I'm such a wimp and hate confrontations with people and often do things I'm uncomfortable with as not able to say no. But this time it is about dd and I have to do it.

PM, here's a tip: just pick up the phone and dial, without thinking about it. Once you start the conversation you won't be able to back out. Before you know it, it'll be over. Then you can think it over and work out what you might do differently next time.

Whatever you do, don't forget that you have NO obligation to this woman and EVERY right to not accept something if it's not right for you.

Good luck!

Do it...NOW!

You dont sound unreasonable. It sounds like things could fall through at any point, and then you would be stuck with no childcare.

IMO you have no other choice.

I would look for someone closer. Even if she did pick up your DD, she would have spent alot of time in the car each day.

As a cm I was ready to come on and say she would be gutted and may have turned other work away for you but afer reading your OP I totally see why you are doing it and agree with you, seems like she will only continue messing you about TBH.

if she is going to do fostering then that can be very last minute, so who's to say she won't let you down again, just phone her and tell her you want someone closer, you don't have to give a reason and good luck for finding someone new. Look now on the web and don't waste any more time thinking about her.

Tell her that due to the issues with fostering you feel that the transport issue has become more obvious and highlighted future problems so you feel that you are unable to use her. At the end of the day she was the first to break the arrangement so dont feel bad

YABU. She has changed the terms on which yo agreed to use her sevice.

YANBU.

YANBU. she has changed the terms(as others have said) I actually think she'll be pleased you are cancelling.

I have doubts over my soon to be cm. I called her in dec and she said she thought I was phoning to cancel So i'm rining her on monday to check if all is still ok for ds to start. I won't be suprised if there's a change. Still I have 3 weeks to find an alternative

YANBU

the only reason you went with her was the fact she could pick up your child and now she cant

tech if there is no contract you dont need to give notice but good manners would to give her a week once you have found a new cm who lives near you