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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be irritated at my sil feeding my 3 month old unweaned baby?

45 replies

ipanemagirl · 02/01/2009 00:02

So weird, she was having a cuddle and I just saw her wiping some food into dd's mouth. sil was a little pissed I think. I was too angry to say anything and just went over and collected dd, I have no idea what she was feeding her.

I could have smacked her I was so mad!

OP posts:

resolutions · 02/01/2009 17:14

why not ring and ask what and why she fed her?

Umlellala · 02/01/2009 17:22

Are you sure she was actually feeding her? Only that my 5mth old has had all manner of curry, chocolate, gravy dropped on him in my clumsy attempts to eat while holding him... Could she have been wiping away?

ChocFudgeCake · 02/01/2009 17:28

You were very cool and collected!

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/01/2009 19:04

mymanicandi - well done for being more assertive now - i forget not everyone is a bold, brash blonde like me

misshardbroom · 02/01/2009 19:09

YANBU about the food.

But she doesn't actually pick up a crying baby without your express permission does she? Are you arranging for her to be struck off the medical register?

YABslightlyU and PFB about that one.

27 · 02/01/2009 19:13

Are you sure she wasnt wiping food off the baby, and then the thing about early weaning was a joke?

alicecrail · 02/01/2009 19:37

I am totally with you on this one. A relative gave my dd (6months at the time) some ice-cream and i was really pissed off. It may sound slightly neurotic but we were visiting old relative in old peoples home and his dinner came round and bowl of slightly melted ice-cream for pudding. Auntie decided that our dd could eat poor old grandads pudding, of course she loved it, but was only being fed baby rice and pureed veg at time and hadn't been introduced to dairy and 3hrs away from home - panic! Did the same as you ipanemagirl picked dd up and said she needed changing.

resolutions · 02/01/2009 19:37

I would think if she is a paediatrician she picks up and examines babies on the ward all the time and is used to being in charge .she could think you don't mind unless you have a chat with her about it

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 02/01/2009 19:44

I would have said:

'Why would you want to hurt/damage my child?'

BTW I got a letter last week telling me that 6 months is the recommended weaning age now but that I am invited to a weaning talk next week (Baby Starlight will be 4 months).

?????

I'm gonna ask that if the recommended weaning age is 6 months then can I come to a talk when she is 6 months please....!

Umlellala · 02/01/2009 19:46

I got one of those letters too Starlight, when ds was 3 months!, nearly went along just to see what it was all about (maybe trying to persuade you NOT to wean?)...

pamelat · 02/01/2009 19:52

I would have been incredibly angry and probably have said something to be honest.

however, do you think she maybe she dropped a crumb or something and was wiping it off ?? If I did this i would probably say something like "oh weaning your baby early" as a not funny joke, but because I was embarassed, like dropping a biscuit crumb or something on to her (not in her mouth)

mymanicandi, thats awful Why are people so weird.

pamelat · 02/01/2009 19:54

Umlellala - thats what I mean, sorry I hadn't read your post.

I would probably call and say that DD has been slightly sick (nothing serious) so you just want to check that she didn't "really" feed her anything earlier ... ???

wenceslasmyeducation · 02/01/2009 19:59

I think they are just trying to make sure you know what to do before the time comes around, although frankly, at the weaning talk I was at, she was just paying lip service to the 26 week weaning age. Got a free Tomme Tippee First Cup though, so not entirely wasted time, even though she kept going on about bottles and using a bottle lid as a bowl. Hello! I'm here too!

Babies don't need baby rice, ever! If you wait til they are 26 weeks, they can have anything.

Nobody actually tried to feed DS before six months, but there was a lot of rumblings about starving him etc. As soon as we had started doing BLW, SIL gave him a finger of chocolate sauce and spoonful of icecream in protest. Her baby is five months older than mine and weaned early, so I expect she felt my choices were a criticism of hers and I imagine OPs SIL feels the same way.

alicecrail · 02/01/2009 20:02

Our baby group had a talk about weaning, how it should not be before 6months etc. But then i had a hv advise me to start dd on baby rice at 4months as stopped gaining as much weight despite being on hungry baby formula and being fed more regularly. Its all to do with the government guidelines. We started dd on baby rice and she was on it for at least 6weeks before introducing anything else. It worked for us but some people i know start giving baby rice at 3mnths - madness!

Original poster

ipanemagirl · 03/01/2009 16:40

I'm pretty sure she was putting something on her finger onto dd's lips, we'd long finished eating and the way she was holding dd would have precluded droppage I think.

She is just one of those types, I think she's probably superprofessional at work but off duty she's a bit of a nutter and also likes a bevvy too much. Actually I know her job is super stressful, lots of dealing with children being harmed/police/social workers etc and who are extremely ill etc. I don't think she is used to perfectly well babies or the day to day care of an ordinary healthy child, it's just not her experience. still weird tho, I think she wasn't thinking at all.

I really wish I'd said something but was too shocked to speak and then tried to pretend it didn 't happen slightly out of alarm I think!

OP posts:

Original poster

ipanemagirl · 03/01/2009 16:44

Next time we're with them I'll make sure she gets the message that I have to decide what dd eats. Inlaws thought I was a total fascist with ds when he was a baby. But I don't see why little babies have to eat a ton of sugar and chemicals? Why must they have our comfort food? They don't need added sugar which has no nutritional benefit for them do they?!

OP posts:

MumofBaby · 03/01/2009 16:50

First of all, I can't stand drunk people trying to hold DS, and if DP's family do it, I find myself trailing around after them ready to catch DS if they drop him or do anything silly.

I would have gone absolutely demented if anyone had tried to wean my baby before I did. Maybe she thinks she knows best because of her job role?

I'm desperate to know what she fed the baby?

Original poster

ipanemagirl · 03/01/2009 19:16

I know Mumof, so am, I but I'm trying to let it go and not become too retrospectively demented...not an unknown state for me I'm afraid!

It must have been one of the puddings I think, there was a huge range of them, it might have been some cream!

Bloody woman! !

OP posts:

resolutions · 03/01/2009 19:36

i understand your irritation but it didn't do any harm and only a few years ago the weaning guidelines were different so at least it didn't make your baby ill thank goodness
difficult to assert oneself with family members with babies i used to find

Original poster

ipanemagirl · 03/01/2009 19:47

absolutely resolutions you're right of course, no harm done really, it was just one of those times when I wish I'd been more assertive but was literally dumbfounded.
I also think the maternal prerogative is fairly primitive and fierce at times and some people just don't get that fact. I always ask before I do anything near another woman's baby.

OP posts:

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