and ungrateful? Or justified, even slightly?

[chickydee]

Today is my birthday, and i have hated having my birthday on this day for many years, and for what may seem like stupid reasons, but they are my reasons,
anyway, dh knows this, and in the early years of our marriage he didn't bother one year to buy me anything,so i stamped my feet, cried etc, and he sort of learnt from that not to do it again.
So, this year i buy him a new wedding ring for xmas, i chose it, got it engraved and put alot of thought into it, and he left buying my birthday pressi til after xmas,put NO thought into it atall,got me pj's from the kids (which are lovely and what i wanted), and then 2 days ago told me to choose some slippers in the shop, and that was it. We got home, i cried and said "you know its my birthday coming up, and its the one day you can make the effort to show you appreciate me" so he said i was ungrateful, and bogged off to asda to buy me...socks, a cd, 2 bottles of wine.
Thing is i do appreciate it all, but i didn't want him to buy me loads of "stuff", just one thing that says "i love and appreciate you" would be nice.
He never buys mne anything at any other time of year, i do EVERYTHING in the house for him and the kids, and i just feel pissed off, so am i an ungrateful spoilt bitch?
And am i bu?

I do everyhting cos
a, i am a control freak and have slight ocd
b, i am a sahm
c, he works hard (or so he says) but will do jobs i cant, or if i ask him to.
I just wish, that he would think before he spends.

YANBU but..with DD1's birthday minutes before Xmas and DH b/day tomorrow I do feel sympathy for your DH. Every year i say I will organise DH pressie before xmas but never do for a million silly reasons (he might get it for xmas from someone else/sales etc). Then regret it on new years eve. However I have always managed to get something decent/well thought out, apart from the year DD1 was born. I think you should send your DH out shopping one morning/afternoon before xmas to solely buy your present so he will have no excuse. That is my 'plan' for next year.

This is what I've done about presents in the past....
DH and I go to John Lewis.
We walk round the shop and I point out all the things I like.
I then go to the coffee shop while he buys me a "surprise". It works for us because he isn't stressing about finding me something that I'll like and I don't know exactly what I'm going to get which I always think takes the fun out of it. Maybe book a "buying presents for my beloved wife" session in his diary for early December....