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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be p***** off with MIL's Xmas presents every year....

63 replies

mousemole · 31/12/2008 18:56

2006- gloves that were way too small
2007 - cling film cutter
2008 - very random book about mountains.

Every year I receive an email from MIL about what she and FIL want for Xmas( this year expensive Estee Lauder face cream and special golf gloves) . In reply to the email she sent in November about what they wanted I replied with some ideas for the DC and added myself ( in attempt to avoid another crap present). She and FIL duly got their requested presents , DH got a cheque for £150 and I got a random book with a cover price of £4.99.
DH finds it all amusing which is irritating. Clearly it is not worth getting upset about but its clear what she thinks of me isn't it !!

OP posts:
CarGirl · 31/12/2008 18:57

Get your DH to agree what ever you both get for christmas is shared between you?

fuzzywuzzy · 31/12/2008 18:59

Get your dh buy for his parents next year then. Or just tel him he's in charge of presents for his parents and then ignore it....

Original poster
mousemole · 31/12/2008 19:00

Cargirl - I have already 'reserved' half of the £150 for some sale shopping. DH seemed a bit miffed until I pointed out I had hosted Xmas for them for the last two years and really gone to town and all I got was a book and cling film cutter ( WTF ???!)

OP posts:
MsG · 31/12/2008 19:04

Blimey!!! Do you get on with them? Maybe they assume DH will split the money with you anyway? That's awful. Do they get your kids nice presents?

I don't blame you for being narked off!!

MsG · 31/12/2008 19:05

Especially with her asking for expensive cream and golf gloves!!!

Original poster
mousemole · 31/12/2008 19:08

MsG, yes they kids what I request - normally send them a few options and they pick off that. When I opened the book I said 'OH ! What an interesting book' in a very sarcastic voice. They are quite odd. We sort of get on but they are very judgemental. When I was making Xmas DInner and DH was out of the room they were whispering to each other about DS1's normal 3 yr old tantrums ! I need to let it wash over me. Next year DH can do their present as FW suggested !

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 31/12/2008 19:09

I'd be annoyed too. I'd be even more annoyed that your DH saw the 150 quid as his money! My mum and dad usually give me a cheque for 100 quid (in my name)plus a few little bits and my husband gets about 25 quid worth of Next vouchers and some beer. It's always been an unspoken agreement between us that the cheque is for BOTH of us. We usually spend it on a nice meal out in January. Thinking about it, are you sure that your inlaws don't just assume that the cheque will be shared between the 2 of you anyway, which is why you only get something little?

v cheeky of them to state what THEY want for Xmas and then give you some shite!

Original poster
mousemole · 31/12/2008 19:09

Also they are pretty well off- hence big cheque for DH. Not that I want expensive presents just one that seemed as though they had thought and cared !!

OP posts:
svalbardy · 01/01/2009 12:34

cripes, what losers. My sister's inlaws give her trashy earrings for pierced ears every b'day and christmas... despite repeated thankyou notes containing a pointed "I may one day get my ears pierced" FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS IN A ROW. I'm tempted to give her a voodoo doll of her MIL in which to stick said earrings...

faeriemoo · 01/01/2009 12:45

I'd rather receive no present that an obvious "We didn't think this out, and it has absolutely no relevance to you at all" present.

I buy presents for people because I think they would like them, not because I feel I ought to get them something.

I'd be offended too mousemole, but like others suggested, maybe they just assume the cheque will be shared with you. Do you and your DH share money?

cat64 · 01/01/2009 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WinkyWinkola · 01/01/2009 12:59

Yeah, mousemole, it's pretty evident your MIL couldn't give a stuff about you or what you think. I'm familiar with this kind of attitude.

Just keep the moral high ground, send a gushing thank you card and maintain your own standards of considerate decency with regard to them.

Some people weren't brought up properly and there's nothing you can do about it.

prettybutterfly · 01/01/2009 13:07

Ignore. Rise above! Also, recycle. Send the gift back to them next year!

Rangirl · 01/01/2009 13:16

They sound like a nightmare.My inlaws always give me the same as their own daughter normally a cheque for £150 and some bits and pieces.I would not mind if they gave her more but I do appreciate the thought more than the £.Well ok the money is very handy!!

cheshirekitty · 01/01/2009 13:39

Your pils sound like arseholes (sorry). Next xmas just presume your dh will get pressies for his dp's. If he does not bother, hard cheese.

YANBU. Pity you with ils like thats.

hercules1 · 01/01/2009 13:41

snort at cling film cutter

Ronaldinhio · 01/01/2009 13:41

yabu

have a laugh over it

My grandmother always used to buy my father a packet of B&H fr Christmas and it caused much hilarity

Bicnod · 01/01/2009 13:48

hahaha - this sounds like me

I'm pg with first baby and this year my darling mother-in-law gave me a HIDEOUS pink frilly (I am not a pink frilly kind of girl) size 14 (I'm a size 10 and she knows it) maternity top and size 14 breastfeeding top (pretty cheeky as she doesn't know whether or not I plan to bf!!) - I feigned absolute delight at both and then took them back to mothercare and exhanged for vouchers last week.

I've never yet kept a present she's given me - the charity shops round our way do well out of MIL!

Jux · 01/01/2009 13:54

If she asks, I tell my MIL I want book tokens (which I really do; for me, they're the best present ever). She always makes a fuss as if that would be a horrible gift. Then dh gets on the phone and tells her what she's getting dd and then we go and get it. Eventually MIL sends us the money for dd's present (which dh has told her the price of) and a little bit extra which dh splits between us so we can get whatever we want (we always get books).

We try to buy nice things for her - Lush soap is a favourite of hers and she won't buy it for herself as "it's so expensive". We get something horrible for sFIL as well, because he's a tit.

Original poster
mousemole · 01/01/2009 14:05

Ha, seems I am not alone ! Some wonderful other examples here ! Trying to take the moral high ground but might send back to her the gloves from last year and say 'thanks for these lovely gloves but they are way too small..maybe you or your friends can find a use for them...'. The cheque was definitely not to be shared..DH bought a bike recently and in the card with his cheque it said 'contribution towards your bike, love Mum and Dad'.
LOL at the pack of B and H for Xmas pressie, although presumably he at least wanted them/smoked them ?!

OP posts:
OonaghBhuna · 01/01/2009 16:42

YABU My mother bought me a calendar which was obviously from a charity shop, it had the price in black pen on the back 50p and then she gave my DH a diary which he will never use and again it had in black pen £1 so mother really went to town and spent £1.50 on us. We get no presents from FIL.

Original poster
mousemole · 01/01/2009 16:45

oonagh, that is BAAAAAAADDDD. I am being very unreasonable !

OP posts:
OonaghBhuna · 01/01/2009 16:46

Well we just laugh my mothers presents are a bit of a joke, although it does hurt when she makes no effort.She spends more on her cat than my sister and I.

CatMandu · 01/01/2009 16:46

Years ago I separated from my first h a few weeks before christmas. His parents gave me a black sexy nighty -wtf!

mummag · 01/01/2009 16:48

my mum bought my neice and nephew post it notes, havent seen her yet for our pressies but you can imagine i havent got high hopes. Still she did get us refried beans one year, that was ummmm interesting.