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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect a bit of support from dh

11 replies

rolereversal · 30/12/2008 10:22

yesterday my ds had to go to hospital to have 3 teeth out under general anasthetic. He needs to have a brace fitted and threw up in the dentists when she took the first tooth out, hence the hospital visit and general.

anyway, I was feeling pretty stressed about it, particularly as it wasnt really medically necessary and I was worried about him having a bad reaction to anasthetic.

dh stayed at home with other 2 ds's and I went on my own with ds1. had to turn phone off obviously, but when they took ds into theatre I went outside to ring dh. No answer, even though he said he wasnt going anywhere, so I rang his mobile, no answer there either, rang home again, still no answer.

I only wanted to speak to him as it was a bit traumatic seeing your baby (hes 12 but you know what I mean!) being put to sleep and wheeled off with a mask on his face.

went back into the ward as I didnt want to miss him coming back and had to switch off phone again.

when he came back and all was well, I went outside again to ring his dad. tried home 3 times and mobile 2, still no answer.

he finally replied as we were walking across the car park to come home. He had been at home all the time but was too busy with the kids to answer the phone! wtf!!! had left a voicemail message but was annoyed with me cos I had turned my phone off. I was in hospital ffs!!

Am just really annoyed at the lack of support, is it too much to ask for him to be on the other end of the phone for 2 mins. He has gone off to work this morning in a strop with me! dickhead!!!

OP posts:
OhBling · 30/12/2008 10:31

While I don't blame you for being a bit upset that he wasn't around to hear how DS was doing, I think a man who took a day off work to look after the other two children while the third one was in hospital with mum isn't exactly unsupportive? And I'm assuming that when you got home the children had been well cared for and entertained? You were stressed about your DS and needed a bit of extra support but he was doing what he could. I think you're overreacting a little bit and YABalittlebitU, although it's understandable.

I'd tell him you were stressed and worried and you're sorry.

rolereversal · 30/12/2008 10:35

he didnt take the day off work, he was off anyway.

the children had been entertained by the ps2 while he was watching the history channel,

and no one had eaten anything other than chocolate

am I still being unreasonable!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
rolereversal · 30/12/2008 10:45

and the house was a tip

think I might be overreacting now!!

OP posts:
Nikkers44 · 30/12/2008 11:04

Hi, i dont think you are over reacting at all, at the end of the day all he had to do was answer the god damn phone. Some men think they have such a hard life with coping with 2 children, for one day, whilst you have to usually manage with 3 and all the other things life throws at you and dont tell me you are at the end of a phone to help out with anything that he throws your way too. Some men make me sick!

OhBling · 30/12/2008 11:23

You didn't say any of that in your original post.

No, YANBU. But frankly, I'd be a lot more annoyed about the mess, food etc than about him not answering the phone.

MillyR · 30/12/2008 12:05

YANBU.

It was a general anaesthetic! You could have phoning from the hospital to say something had gone wrong. It is very uncaring to have not answered the phone.

rolereversal · 30/12/2008 13:13

thank you thank you thank you, you all make me feel so much better

still have to live with the bugger though

OP posts:
Bonnycat · 30/12/2008 14:01

YANBU,watching your child go to sleep under a general and then letting them go to have stuff done is dreadful,whatever procedure it is.You needed support ,he should have answered the phone.

dietstartstomorrow · 30/12/2008 14:08

YANBU

I would of been fuming. You would think he would jump on the phone to make sure all had gone ok with DS1.

I have a DH that will NEVER answer the phone and it is sooooo annoying.

MerryMadMarg · 30/12/2008 14:15

YANBU - and quite frankly, he was being DAMN unreasonable given that he didn't even really look after the children properly on the single day that he had to.

I would have been cross too. Actually, no I wouldn't, I would have been incandescent with rage

(I've always loved that phrase and have been looking for the opportunity to use it!!! )

rolereversal · 30/12/2008 16:28

dietstarts, its good to know I dont have the only one that doesnt answer the phone, what the hell is that about though?

he doesnt open letters or pay bills either, maybe I accidentally married a 9 year old, or a member of the royal family and I didnt notice?!?

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