to think this card was toatlly inappropriate

[Quadrophenia]

exp moved out in October, biggest thing my mil has had to worry about was what card to send us now we are seperated.Exp told her several times if she felt the need then just to send one to us each........oh no, xmas eve we get a card to his son and girlfriend ffs. it has made me irrationaly irked.

oh that's crap Quad.

How you doing - hope Chirsmtas wasn't too bad???

hello you, no it was actually fine thanks...over christmas we spent alot of time togetehr but as he was doing it by choice and not under duress i actually felt more relaxed than I have evr done.

How about you? how are things haven't seen you around much?

that's good - I had a pretty shite Christmas actually, cope ok with the boys going off with exH on Christmas day in the afternoon. But my family.................

Well to cut a long story short - I "flounced" off MN (for all of 2 days) then came back - 2 thread lurking around somewhere - thinking "fuck them" .

oh no sorry you had a poo time
why did you flounce?

I actually had a card from my uncle addressed to me and xp and the kids.

We have been seperated now for nearly 3 years, during which time I have seen my uncle, and have sent cards to him from just me and the dc.

no!!! nothing to do with that

hang on I'll find you the relevant links

illegally brunette..its wierd isn't it? with it being so close i expected ones from people who weren't in the know but she asked...several times infact...strange woman.

couple of posts on here before my flounce

my "flounce" here

my "return" here

right will read now will just get my vino

lol - sounds good

Is she in denial? Does she want you to still be together, do you think?

well she bought him some stuff for his flat for xmas so not totally in denial...she is bizarre..always has been, i still feel a bit cross though

very odd indeed. Is she ermmm...not well?

FAQ where to start mate?

your brother sounds toatlyl self obsessed and unable to emapthise at all with your circs, whether it be from mental health issues or not i can undersatnd that his misrepresenattion of conversations you had with your parents must be very hurtful to you. i think it hurts more because of the relationship you have (or don't have) with them. I can see why, for self preservation reasons you have to step back from your relationship with them...they don't appear to be able to provide you with the support you need and each time they don't it causes more pain on top of what you are already experiencing. It must be a terribly difficult decison fopr you to make but in reality on a day to day basis you can and will function fine qwithout them in your life, they have treated you terribly and you really, really do not deserve that it isn't fair.
I am glad you flounced and saw sense...you bloody lightweight one of the shortest flounces in history lol...but you are right, when you are on your own and feeling pretty pissed off mn is a great outlet and why should some interfering fucker ruin that...good on you for coming back xxxxxxx

and well done for getting through christmas it was undoubtedly hard but you did it well done xxx

I know "where to start" - figured it was easier linking ot the threads rather than trying to explain it all again .

And yes it was a rather short flounce .........and I lurked for the entire time I wasn't posting

You know what is odd, I thought my insomnia was being caused by the stress of the ever approaching house move. Except that since Christmas Day evening (when I cried myself to sleep - by which time i'd made the decision to step back from them) I have slept EVERY night, not always for a long time (last night was only 4hrs), but it has been a (reasonably) regular sleep pattern.

I don't actually think it is the house move stressing me out, it's been the relationship with my family!!!

Oh i don't care if you hijack, it would only end up in oblivion anyway lol

well thats fabulous a step in the right direction....I know it has been a hard one for you to take but goodness me the stress is just too much, mix it up with all the other crap and you have a woman on the edge wiht feckin insommnia...i'm sure as life pans out for you the four hours will creep up. You must feel actually very empowered for making such a tough decision and i gfor one am very proud of you, if you discount all that then you can just deal with the important stuff which is you and your lovely boys xx

I think the stress of trying to maintain some sort of relationship with my parents ("for the sake of the boys" which is a joke really) was more stressful than making the decision.

You know my Aunt (mum's sister) called me on Christmas Even to wish me a Happy Christmas (she always calls a day before Christmas/Birthdays etc). In the course of the stilted (as always - she's not the most talkative person in the world lol) conversation she said "oh I hear DS3 played up at his Christening". I was quite suprised and told her no he'd just been his usual self as he always in in church. Turns out my mum had told her that.

Which shows that she knows F* all about the boys and what they're like, so my maintaining "contact" for their sake is a joke really.

It's funny how conversations like that can just really clarify what you already knew...how odd that she even bought it up, does she know how old he is?
I think you are right though the stress of making choices and decsions is always harderr than actaul;ly doing it, it's done now and you can move forward...all the issues surrounding your relationship will not be erased overnight but the thought that no extra pressures will be added must be a relief.

yea it's going ot take time to erase the issues, and won't be able to control their contact with me until after I've moved (when i'll have my new email address/phone number/postal address) but in the meantime I'm going to look into getting caller ID so I can just ignore any more phonecalls they try and make.........

If it's urgent they have exH's contact details, and his sisters too and they can get hold of me to contact them.

that certainly sounds like a plan...I screen all my calls anyway..just don't pick up
Its onwards and upwards...this tiome next year we will be discussing al manner of exciting stuff, not crap christmases and sodding families

well quite frankly their phone call yesterday was a joke.

You know how I never shut up in RL, well the convesation with them was stilted, with me giving the briefest answers possible, totally unlike me on the phone to someone I know well (ask ShelleyLou - we can easily spend 3hrs on the phone talking about NOTHING ).

Despite my short "distracted" answers (was giving the boys tidying up instructions while they were talking to me on the phone) they said

"oh you sound well"

WTF

ermm no I actually I'm pissed off and wish you would bugger off and leave me alone and if after 29yrs you don't recognise when your DD isn't "right" then she bloody gives up.

Hi guys- barging in here just as the OP rang a bell...I got sent a present for my ex (of over 3 years!) by my previous ex's sister. I know he still exists and all, but I've been with my DP for 3 years now, and I know ex-SIL knows the score. It just felt very odd and like she was making some obscure point