to think my sil should give up smoking cos she is preggars

[butterscotch]

She is 34 and already high risk, a much wanted baby, she and ikkle bro (30) have been broody for years got married last Aug and she is still smoking 5 at least a day, and drinking (baileys) and only at 9 weeks don't get me wrong I love a drink being preggars was the hardest thing in the world to me not drinking not having some of fave foods but I did it because it is so important...I had a word with ikkle bro saying he needs to give up to help her.....I just hope the baby is okay

Should state I have never smoked but had to give up peanut butter (my daily fix) when pregnant but did it for my baby

Ahh - thanks!
Mmm, love crisps - my favourites are Miss Vickies, don't know if you have them in the U.K. (I live in Canada) but oh, tons of flavours and they are yummy!!!

And my God, why are you up at 2:47 in the morning???

yanbu. it really annoys me when mums to be harp on about their much wanted baby, then take stupid risks with the pregnancy.i did everything right, didnt drink, dont smoke , avoided certain foods,took advice from doctors and prenatel vitamins, ate the right foods , (had dietry needs due to multiple pregnancy),went to every check up and one of my babies ended up with a disability.i know its just down to bad luck, but i cant understand why anyone would take a risk with their baby? just seem so wrong!call me old fashioned but i believe a mothers duty of care starts when shes trying to concieve/when she find out about pregnancy. you wouldnt let someone shove a fag into a newborns mouth, so whats the difference?shes a very stupid girl, but i hope her baby is fine and she has no problems herself.perhaps she will stop?

Has she had many miscarriages before? Maybe she can't believe that she is really going to have a baby so doesn't see the point of giving up at the moment.

If she does know the dangers of smoking and drinking while pregnant, there isn't much you can do. Maybe talk to your brother, if they are completely ignorant about the dangers, then pass on the information.

I ate peanut butter everyday and was not the size of a bus. Eating a Mars Bar every day makes you the size of a bus (from personal experience).

YANBU, like others have said to think she should give up smoking, but it isn't really your place to comment on her decisions tbh. Surely everyone has to be fully aware of therisks and dangers certain things have on pregnancy and it's down to them to decided whether or not to take the risks. It's her body and her baby, not yours. You wouldn't dream of commenting on her parenting skills when baby is here would you?

I smokd with ds, he was born a week overdue, weighed 9lbs 10oz and has never had problems with breathing or infections. My friend did everything by the book and her dc has asthma, excema and is allergic to every food out there, so not an exact science is it?

Your SIL will get plenty of expert antenatal advice so apart from a few gentle hints from you it really is up to her.

Some people find pregnancy very stressful and the official advice may be to cut down as much as possible as stress is also bad for a developing baby.

I wish her a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Much better to stick to suggesting to your brother that he give up - esp smoking but if he can stick to drinking only a couple a week a too - to support your SIL. It is not 'a mother's duty' to start caring for her child from/before conception, it's both parents'. Fags and booze can be very difficult to quit, more so if partner still enjoying.