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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want the world and his wife knowing I MN?

26 replies

SammyK · 26/12/2008 22:56

I received some lovely surprises from the MN xmas appeal, and was extremely grateful and moved, as was DP.

I hav told my mum and sister that an online friend from a website sent me some gifts, but DP has now told several people what I received (very generous, thoughtful things), and naming MN.

These are my reasons for not wanting people who know me in RL knowing I mn:

I work as a CM and don't want to be identified through my cm'ing posts to other childcare workers (say for example if I say I have had a bad day).

I don't want certain inlaw family memebers to try and take advantage of MN, or join for the wrong reasons.

I don't want certain nosy inlaw family memebers trying to identify my talk name from my posts and keep track of what I am posting like FAQ has been through.

DP seems quite naiive about this and doesn't get why am irritated by it! (I had to explain to him the other day how careful you have to be about what you post after a new oster used her RL name a a talk name).

OP posts:
AbricotsSecs · 26/12/2008 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ThingOne · 26/12/2008 23:07

Time to name change, I think.

Original poster
SammyK · 26/12/2008 23:08

Grr I don't want to name change {whiny voice}

bloody men.

OP posts:
Zebraa · 26/12/2008 23:33

Name change

stitch · 26/12/2008 23:37

men!
never trust them with anyghing. even the best of them are soooo naive about lots of things

PavlovtheRedNosedReindeer · 26/12/2008 23:37

Name change - it wont take long for those you want to know who you are to find out its you...and those who don't need to know wont (ie your dp!)

AnitaBlake · 26/12/2008 23:40

YANBU, I just joined, I have a friend who is also an MNer, and I don't want it to hold her back, but (this is my first post), I lurked for AGES ( I mean months) and I wanted to join in the chat. I think we should all be anon unless we choose not to be. I am also on other forums where I wouldn't want anyone to know they are even there, nevermind who I am on them. Change your username honey.

naturalbornmum · 27/12/2008 00:37

YANBU at all. I namechange frequently so I won't be recognised in RL. I also try not to mention MN to friends etc and I try not give too much away. Infact am at the info some posters give.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 27/12/2008 00:52

DH did this to me as well, he told someone I particularly didn't want to know that I MN. He didn't get why I was so annoyed at all.

PavlovtheRedNosedReindeer · 27/12/2008 01:47

A friend of mine at work said 'norks' the other day, and she then looked at me, a bit embarrassed, and I think we secretly realised we are both MNers...not saying that means she must be an MNer, but I have to say I have not heard anyone in the area I live in, socially or in work refer to them as norks, only ever heard it on MN. I wont say, and she won't say. We both understand I guess. And I do not have a clue who she is, but just in case, I will not talk about anything I might have heard on MN (you know, little known facts a 'friend' has told you about bf or this or that) in case she recognises it from MN and figures out who I am!

I am not worried as she is sound, but if she was not her, I would be more worried about being known...

Original poster
SammyK · 27/12/2008 10:11

Oh well will spend today thinking of a name change tHen.

Think I will show this thread to DP to explain why I was narked with him.

OP posts:
bran · 27/12/2008 10:19

Tell your DP that you've changed to NetMums. Better still, if you hear him mention MN to anyone say "Noooo, you silly, it's NetMums".

Original poster
SammyK · 27/12/2008 10:28

no one would believe that bran

I am too blunt for netmums!

OP posts:
bran · 27/12/2008 10:48
Grin
Original poster
SammyK · 27/12/2008 10:50

I have showed DP this thread, he has asked me to make a public apology.

Oh well best go get dressed - still sat in my PJs

OP posts:
MrsWeasleyStrokesSantasSack · 27/12/2008 10:53

Men just don't get it do they?

My DH found out my MN name and then when he was setting up the Wii last year he named my Mii with my MN name. I was bloody furious, had visions of DCs telling everyone they met, so I changed it damn quick.

nicolamumof3 · 27/12/2008 10:56

YANBU, however he maybed didn't fully understand the implications?

kettlechip · 27/12/2008 22:15

YANBU, I don't tell anybody in RL I use MN. Far too much detail on here and I love the anonymity you get while being able to ask thousands of total strangers for an opinion on something quite personal!

Someone I know from playgroup referred to a thread she'd seen on here the other day and I froze. I had to pretend I didn't have a clue what she was talking about.. would be cross with anyone who outed me!

Ashantai · 27/12/2008 23:50

I took down my photos cos i got so paranoid about people knowing who i am on here . And as much as i would love to join in more on the babynames forum about unusual names, my kids names are so unusual that i would most certainly be outed by anyone who knew me.

How irrational is it to think that, when there are hundreds of people all over the world on this site

MaureenMLove · 28/12/2008 08:55

But, but, I helped you with that name!! I really liked it! We'll think again, then!

I would suggest DP stops talking about it now and even possibly suggest to him that he got it wrong - 'it isn't MUMSnet, darling, it's NETmums!' easy mistake to make for a man. You've never heard of Mumsnet, right!

I had a similar conversation with DH, when we won the MN holiday earlier this year. He was full of it and telling everyone he knew, including mentioning MN. I told him to report back to anyone who mentioned it, that it was a CM forum and he couldn't remember the name of it. I don't think any of my friends would be interested in a CM forum!

Original poster
SammyK · 28/12/2008 17:21

I have decidd not to name change - I am stubborn and too fond of my current talk name!

OP posts:
kerryk · 28/12/2008 17:23

i know what you mean.

dh once gave out my ebay name to a "friend" who then went on to check what i had been buying and used it as gossip.

he has been well bloody warned about mumsnet. i would be really easy to identify by people who know me.

DoubleBluff · 28/12/2008 17:23

WHy do you think other people are that interested in you?
Cant beleive any one I know in RL would come on here to see what my opinion on fruit shoots is?

solidgoldstuffingballs · 28/12/2008 17:30
mawbroon · 28/12/2008 17:40

sammy, if you don't want to namechange, you could ask MNHQ to delete all your posts up to now.

Then you could keep SammyK for your day to day stuff and change to something else if you are needing to say stuff that you wouldn't want others to know about.