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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a bit cross with my best friend....

22 replies

macdamiforgotitsxmas · 26/12/2008 15:19

am really not sure ?? I am cross but AIBU??
Our DD's are best friends too they are 7!!
We do have some different parenting ideas though mostly the same, and I think our differences stem from the fact she has 2 older DC (16 and 14) and my DD is my DD1 (my younger is 1) !!
So her DD got a mobile phone for xmas (yes with pay as you go sim card WITH credit) - I really think 7 is way toooo young who on earth would they phone (my DD will occasionally use my phone to call or text her dad or my sister but only with me there)...so have had my DD is a complete sulk all morning because I said no way hose - we went shopping and more sulking because I wouldnt let her spend her xmas money on a phone!!
Grrr am just cross we had discussed things like this and BF had said she though they were too young
PS before the troll shouting starts am regular macdoodle

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/12/2008 15:22

yanbu

7 imo is too young to have a mobile phone

once they run out of credit sure the thrill will go for your dd friend

think children when they start secondary school and gen travel without parents on bus/trian etc is a good age to have one

and always get payg and not contract!!

kerryk · 26/12/2008 15:22

sorry i think yabu, its up to your friend what she buys for her daughter.

i do agree though that 7 is to young, my 7 yo dd loves taking pictures with my mobile so we bought her a really cheap digi-cam to use instead.

shame you have to put up with dd being in a huff though, i often think my dd is a 16 yo trapped in a small persons body

hercules1 · 26/12/2008 15:29

I can understand your annoyance but it is up to your friend. Fortunately ds's best friend parents have been consistent through the years and they both were used to being the only ones with no phone, ds etc. Now they are teens they have them though - ds only just for xmas.

kslatts · 26/12/2008 15:30

I don't think you can decide what your dd's friend receives for xmas.

27 · 26/12/2008 15:32

Is this the same BF and daughter that have annoyed you before?

cikecaka · 26/12/2008 15:32

Though you might have the same ideas on child rearing, the big difference is that she has 2 older dc so her child has seen them using theirs and is probably more clued in. My dd had a phone at 7 because her brother and sister have one

juuule · 26/12/2008 15:34

Why are you cross with your friend?
Because she bought her dd a phone or because her buying her dd a phone has caused your dd to sulk?
It's up to her what she buys her dd.
It's up to you to let your dd know why you don't think 7 is a good age for her to have a mobile phone.
Personally, I wouldn't get my child a mobile phone at 7yo but then I don't think they need one.

Carmenere · 26/12/2008 15:34

Whilst I think that 7 is ridiculously young to have a mobile, I think it is just part of life that your dd can't have some things she wants and it is a valuable lesson to just tell her no and stick to your guns. Life is full of dissappointments and lets hope this is the biggest one she has to endure for a while.

juuule · 26/12/2008 15:35

And even though my older children have mobile phones, my primary school age and younger children don't even though some of their friends have.

juuule · 26/12/2008 15:36

Agree with Carmenere.

Original poster

macdamiforgotitsxmas · 26/12/2008 16:02

yes well I agree which is kinda why I asked - of course she is allowed to buy her DD what she wants and yes I am most annoyed that my DD is now sulking - and yes we have had a frank discussion about life and fairness and "cos mum says" (we have had this discussion before about Tv's in bedrooms and computers in bedrooms) and she now seems fine (spending her xmas money on a wii singing game seems to have helped)
I am also though cross that we have discussed this exact thing before and seemed to be of similar mind, also her DD arriving on my doorstep (they live over the road) at 10am this morning waving her phone in my DD's face with a gleeful "I have a real phone" was probably a tad mean!
Have spoke to my friend and she knows I am peeved - she says it was cheap (not the point), her mum actually bought it (hmm if my mum bought my DD a phone without asking me it would go straight back)and she was gonna get my DD one as well but they had none left now if she ha done this I would have been really pissed off!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

juuule · 26/12/2008 16:46

She got her dd a phone. Her dd is really pleased with it. Let her enjoy her gift. You are doing what you want for your dd. Your say you've spoken to your dd and explained the situation. Why not ask her to be happy for her friend (or at least try). It may be a bit irritating for you but these things happen. If you and your friend agree on most other things then it would be a pity to let this spoil your friendship.

cat64 · 26/12/2008 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Gorionine · 26/12/2008 16:53

I agree taht 7 is way to young for a mobile phone but as other posters I don't think you can be cross with your friend to get one for her own DD. I would have been more ennoyed if she had actually got one for DD without asking you.

I am sure in time your Dd will realise that having a mobile phone is great ...when you actually have people to call with it.I can't imagine many more of her friends do have one?

ShinyPinkShoes · 26/12/2008 16:58

I think you are being a bit unreasonable yes.

It's not as though SHE bought the gift for her. What were you expecting her to do? Cause an argument with her Mum at Christmas by giving the present back?

Could just as easily have been one of your daughters other friends who was bought a phone.
Would you have been as cross with their parents?

TWINSETinapeartree · 26/12/2008 17:00

7 is too young for a mobile phone but you can't dictate what your friend buys their child and it should not make you angry.

Like Gorionine says though who is this child going to phone.

MillyR · 26/12/2008 17:22

I'm sure that your daughter will see that the other girl hasn't got anyone to call and will then see that it is a pointless present; then she'll stop being upset and be glad she didn't waste her money.

My dd is 7 and one of her christmas presents was a pretend mobile phone. I cannot see the point of a 7 year old having a real one, but think it is your friend's choice. Maybe her daughter is using it like a pretend one.

mumeeee · 26/12/2008 20:53

YANBU to think that 7 is to young for a mobile. But YABU to be cross with your friend it's up to her what she buys for her Duughter,

LiffeyanFiaRua · 26/12/2008 20:57

Yes, you have to let it slide off you. My dc1 is six and everybody else seems to have got a Wii or a nano ipod for christmas, far too young imo. My dc got clothes, books, games and little things.

There could be a reason for the phone. I've thought about getting my dd a pay as you go with just one number, MINE, programmed into it. I always feel nervous when she goes off with her Dad.

MAYBE there is a reason.

ByTheSea · 26/12/2008 21:26

YANBU. Seven is too young for a mobile yet. I've established a family policy that child can have a mobile the Christmas right after they start secondary school.

2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 26/12/2008 21:30

yabu
but I understand why.
It is up to your friend what she does.

NAB3hundredChristmaslights · 26/12/2008 21:32

What does it matter what your BF thinks? She clearly changed her mind.

Your child, your call.

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