OK, so I've name changed for this. People I know in RL may recognise these details so didn't want to post under original name.
I'm sat here REALLY angry at my parents for the way they treat me and make me feel. (DP has gone to bed btw).
My parents split when I was younger and I have 2 sisters from my fathers second marriage. I always thought I got on with my father, apart from resentment that he spent all his money on his new family and when he saw us each week would practically ignore me and my sisters (from first marriage). To be fair it was my stepmother who always made the effort.
Ok so fast forward a decade or so and I am told I have tumours on one of my major organs. I tell my father and don't hear from him for about 6 weeks and only then because I told my stepsister how upset I was and it got back to him and he had a go at me telling me not to shut him out of my life! I had always been the one to make the effort and to call him, pop in to see them etc. He said that it would be different when I had my own place " cos I can't come to your mother's can i?"Guess what - it wasn't.
So I had said tumours removed and were nothing too serious but in the course of treatment I have a condition which means I have to be scanned every sixmonths and was ill for a while. He came to see me every day in hospital but the effort fizzled out once I got home. Then he got ill (due to his own doing might i add) and i went to see him etc and it turned into sort of a competition as to who was worse off. He and stepmother wouldn't listen after asking how I was but would talk over me about how bd my father was ("he's convinced he had cancer" no he had gallstones and didn't take the hospitals advice).
So add to this the fact that over the past few years my step mother and stepsister have got increasingly bitchy about me/mylife/my real sisters, etc etc. Nothings good enough. My stepsister makes comments like "if stepmother and father die at the same time everything is for stepsisters as it's from my fathers second marriage". Not that I care about the money it's the principle that they're saying we don't matter (again). Step mother says things like "she's put on weight" "is she still doing this" "I would've thought she'd do that" "have you decorated your house yet?" (No cos we can't fecking afford it but it's still better than your house!)
So over the last year I have made less effort. Have still sent xmas and birthday cards ( I also get bitched about because I don't do xmas presents anymore cos I can't afford it financially or mentally becaise they're so bitchy it sends me crazy worrying about what to get them) but not seen father since february (when he sent me a card for my 30th birthday that he didn't write one of my sisters obv did as he was on holiday and he'd obv forgot and stuck a tenner in it) and only seen stepmother and step sisters at my sisters house. And you know what - I feel so much better for it.
At the start of the year I was really struggling - my relationship with DP was on the rocks, as was my relationship with father and stepmother, and I was depressed about a whole host of things. I had loads of counselling and things with DP are great,I'm a lot more confident and happy in myself and although I still have some health issues life is great. And I am convinced most of it is related to me not seeingpeople who bring me down like they do.
So this year I posted the xmas cards as I didn't want to see them. But they have seen my sister and have made some shitty remarks about me and DP ("have they still put on weight" etc) and I am livid. I'm sat here fumig and really close to calling them and telling them to look in the fecking mirror. I know I shouldn't and what goes around comes around but I am so angry that they are still making my life shit. I can't believe that I sometimes feel guilty about not seeing them.
The worst part is that my youngest step sister is 15 and she is the most gorgeous teenager I have ever met - so kind and caring etc. She told me not so long ago she thought I was pretty (I am very overweight and have very low self esteem about the way I look). Also my sister has 2 kids - 2 and 3 - and they live 2 streets away from my father and he hasn'tbothered to see them in over a year. That also make mes angry as they are the most beautiful children and I know it's his loss but I bet he's bitching about it like it's our fault not his.
Argh. Bloody families. Sorry for the rant - just needed to get it off my chest.