AIBU not to want to see my parents this xmas?

[karise]

We told them to leave us alone last xmas & to be fair they have done all year.
They have left countless messages in the last 2 days asking to see us and our DD over xmas.
I know if we let them they will come, criticise, wind DD up until she is frantic & expect us to treat them as if everything is OK when really I don't agree with them about anything & just want them to go away.
Anyone else suffer from all or nothing parents who want everything their own way? If so, how do you deal with running things your way instead of theirs?

Is it actually possible to see unreasonable parents without it turning into a disaster or feeling bullied?

You go to them for an hour...have another appoinment afterwards so yu can leave

I think you should see them
If you haven't seen them all year what akes you think they'll make dd frantic when she is a whole year older?

Because they think children should be seen and not heard so will talk at her & expect her to do as she's told!
Last time they visited was uninvited & had DD crying in her bedroom not wanting to see them because they shout all the time.
I just don't want a stressful christmas AIBU?

Ditto ilove.

It's a 4 hour round trip!

I don't know... this is my first Christmas without my darling Dad as he died this year.

I'd give anything, ANYTHING, to spend one last day with him. So yes, IMO YABU.

Put it behind you, and see them for one day. You never know, you may never have this chance again.

It's Christmas so make sure you fill your DCs day with joy...avoid your parents! Childhood should be filled with magic at Christmas.

What happened a year ago? Did you cut them out of your lives? Why?

On the little info you have given I would say YABU as these people presumably brought you and gave you whatever you needed for 18 years or more. If that's not the case then you kind of need to explain what is the case/

Agree - if your parents behave unreasonably and make you and your dd unhappy for whatever reason, avoid them on special days.

I would appease them however by visiting or inviting them on a less important day when dd will be less excited. Unless they are likely to upset everybody every time they appear...

I'd suggest neutral territory. People are less likely to shout if they are in a public place.

I was just about to suggest neutral territory too, nkf, if the OP wants to. Make sure you've got somewhere to go afterwards so there's a defined end to the meeting.

But don't feel that you have to have them round, go to theirs or meet up if you don't feel that it's right for you and your family. Your dp and dd's happiness are your priority, I'm sure - and you have every right to make your own happiness a priority too.

I hope that you have a happy and peaceful christmas!

Christmas is a very loaded time. Perhaps contact them and tell them that you would like to meet up with them (neutral territory) in new year. Decide a time and date and stick to it. Lay ground rules if necessary.

I am in the same situation. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. I do not want to see my family and hope that they will stay away tommorrow.
I hope you and your little family have a lovley day. Merry cristmas.

I would not see them. what kind of gp's would see their granddaughter crying in her room?
They sound like controlling bullies rather than loving perents/gp's.