to be keeping tabs on how my much my DH is drinking?

[CanYouHearThem]

Pregnant, due in 6 days. DH supposed to have given up drinking at 37 weeks as is on standby to do hospital run when labour starts. Except he hasn't. He's not getting pissed but is regularly drinking enough to push him over the limit in my estimation.

He just doesn't seem to think anything will happen "TONIGHT", even after a false alarm last week. Seems to think we'll get plenty of warning when labour is imminent.

Suspect he has currently started drinking beer while wrapping up presents in the spare room - just came downstairs and I can smell it on him. Thing is, we have no beers in the house, due to lack of space in the fridge he's keeping them cold in the garage so I can't see how many he's having. It's only teatime. No doubt, with it being Christmas Eve he'll polish off a glass of red wine with dinner (full to the top glass at that), and maybe another beer afterwards, and think that's acceptable. I, however, don't. I think he should stick to one.

I feel like a nag for going on at him constantly, I don't want his life to stop. I don't mind if he has one beer, or one glass of wine. I do, however, want a sober, calm, responsible birth partner who can get me to the hospital safely. Chances of getting a taxi later tonight if anything happens? Low, I would say.

I am struggling to muster up sympathy for him, considering I've managed to cut it out for the past eight months. I'm asking him for another 18 days sobriety, at the longest. Yes, it's Christmas, but that doesn't make any difference to the baby, if it wants to arrive tonight it will! AIBU?

YANBU

He is taking a risk that the baby won't decide to come tonight.

He will have an awful shock if your waters go at 10pm or summat tonight.

btw, is this your first?

Yes, it's our first. It's not just tonight though, it's at least half the week. Saturday before last we had people round and he went WAY over. Two glasses of wine, two beers, one whiskey, one coffee with Sambuca. We had a huge row that night, I thought it would make him stop. He did, for a couple of days, but obviously his opinion on what's acceptable varies greatly to mine.

If it were any other night of the year I'd say YABU because if the worst comes to the worst, you can take a taxi to the hospital togehter.

But completely take your point about not being able to get a taxi later on.

Ask hiim what he proposes to do if you go into labour and can't get a taxi.

Why is drinking so important to him? I'd be pissed off about that tbh. Is it just because it's Christmas?

it sounds like stress to me
if he's over the limit and you can't get a taxi then you can call an ambulance if it's that urgent
try and relax

apparently taxis won't take pregnant women (according to my midwife). I asked what would happen if my drivers were drunk and she said its perfectly acceptable to ask for an ambulance (so long as you explain its not urgent etc)

In the end DH was sober but our car lights failed and our other drivers were drunk, so SIL's sister ended up driving us in her very shiny mini

As it is your first, it is likely to take some time to arrive (my first took 3 days!)

Doesn't excuse him though. I would be a little concerned that somebody couldn't kep a lid on their drinking for such an important reason.

I think from 37 weeks is a bit much to expect though.

With less than a week to go, he should be stopping at 2-3 units.

I hope for your sake this isn't a precedent, and you are forever the one who "won't be able to drink"

Cos once that baby comes, there are lots of sacrifices to be made, and that includes unlimited boozing! He has a shock to come.

Good luck with the baby x

The taxi thing varies - check with your local taxi companies, as I was also told by a mw that taxies don't take women in labour. I HAD to get a taxi in as neither of us drives. A lot of firms draw the line if it looks like the lady is likely to give birth VERY soon (ie in the car). Still - your DP should be thinking about you and your baby. Secret drinking also sounds very unhealthy.

He needs to start being a responsible and supportive parent before the baby arrives, YANBU. I was like this with every baby, I have four dcs.

BTW Christmas stress can bring on labour, or so I've been told.... you get presents on the ward in my local hospital if you give birth on Christmas day.

YANBU, it really pisses me off that some men think that pg and babies only happen to women!!

Doesn't he think you would have liked to ignore your pg in the last 9 months, just once?

My friend had this with her pg, due about the same time you are, her DP went out for a drink, had one too many, her waters broke 2 hours later.

for you

i think YABU to ask him to stop drinking at 37 weeks when full term is up to 42 weeks

BUT he sounds secretive about his drinking and a "full to the top glass" is a little odd

you don't always have to drink to get drunk IYSWIM

anyway, if you do go into labour you can always call for an ambulance should you need it

Well my first came at 37 weeks, so YANBU. I have strong views on alcohol due to an alcoholic DH, which makes me fervently anti-alcohol!