mother-in -law

[lipstickjungle]

The minute she enters the door tonight she will want to re-arrange the furniture, she will touch the wooden floor to see if there is any dust- what she doesnt see is how i spent hours cleaning the hse not giving attention to my lo not that my house is dirty, she will say to her son oh you look tired you are working hard whilst looking at me as just a sathm, she will say i am extravagant- which iam not- i will do all the cooking and she won't lift a finger she will just cuddle son who just wants to crawl and have me time sometimes.
she will complain and at the end of christmas i will be resentful for not having gone abroad to my family,
tell me yours is wonderful!

Put the furniture how you don't want it so when she rearranges it it will be back to how you want it.

My nana told me she would wait until my son went to her the first time I took him to see her aged 20 months. She grabbed him the minute she opened the door. She was just so pleased to see him. She died 3 years ago and I would love her to be here causing havoc.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

She can only annoy you if you let her.

Erm.....actually mine is!

I am probably the only one of my friends who utterly adores her MIL!

I've said to DH (God forbid) we ever get divorced I get MIL

My mother though......that is a different story.......

When your MIL complains tell her if she doesn't like it she is welcome to go home & celebrate Xmas on her own!

mil's eh

mine is a nightmare. I'd start drinking now if I was you. Lukcily my MIL never comes for Xmas as I did a shameful thing and produced a disabled grandchild who she wont acknowledge.

Tell her she knows where the dusters are if she wants to do an extra clean

I havent seen my MIL for years- she really is quite awful. DH keeps in contact via email and sends photos of the boys.

My MIL is a passive aggressive nightmare.

She phoned today to guilt trip tell us that her and FIL were having pizza for Xmas dinner as we were being selfish and refusing to see them on Xmas day (I wonder why? ) and only going to see them on Saturday.

Ffs.

NMC that's blardy awful - how dare she?!

I know its easier said than done, but think how MINOR this really is in the grand old scheme of things.

My mil is similar to how you describe. She comes over and starts 'tidying up' when its not really messy and I'm not exaggerating when I say her own house is a disgusting tip. (We gat a cleaner to go to her house now on a weekly basis as it was filthy)

She doesn't help with anything meaningful and just used to grab ds1 and hog him for the whole time, not letting any other member of the family, including my mum, hold him.

I used to let it irritate me but now it really doesn't. I'm not letting anyone else have that power over me. Ds1 adores her and now she's quite useful as she'll spend time reading and playing with him and I can leave him with her while I get on with things or pop out.

Just be the better person, smile and be nice and try to enjoy your day.

If you're missing your own family, your mil will irritate you like hell and you probably will resent her.
Try to make the best out of the situation and don't let her get to you.

My Mum does all that.

Ex MIL is wonderful in comparison. Only because I never see her though.

pmsl at Mr and Mrs Pizza btw. That is hilarious and should go in a comedy sketch.

lol at the pizza. You should of said 'hey, thats what we're having too'

I once had a work colleague whose MIL arrived on Christmas morning and immediately started cleaning the bath! My MIL prefers us to go to her so I am spared her strictures on my lack of housekeeping skills.

FiL can be a bit of a twonk. (Refusing to 'allow' Dp and I to bring Dp's Grandfather out of a nursing home for Christmas Dinner) but MiL is generally really good.

When DP and I first got together both I and she liked to 'do' Xmas Dinner so we arranged that she does Christmas Breakfast for us all and then we have our Xmas Dinner at home by ourselves. Works out great that way. I think we may pop in for supper this year too as we'll be driving past theirs on the way back from dropping DP's grandfather off home and I think his other Grandparent's will be there then.

As wintersun says though, use it to your advantage or just ignore it. Don't let it ruin your Christmas.

In 22 years DH and I have never had PIL for Xmas dinner (and never been to theirs). Long may that continue.

she has landed thanks for all the advice ladies, i describe myself as a happy person so sometimes its hard to do that with her around, she has arrived and has been ignoring me only talking and asking son about our little one's progress.
she also talks to lo about me " whilst i listen saying" OOH its a hard life . have a wonderful christmas will be breathing through this" mumsnet" off to make dinner .
oh she does not do cleaning she is glamour
and comments.

Her issues not yours! That behaviour shows serious insecurity and unhappiness on her part. Have a large glass of wine and let it go over your head. I bet she's only doing it for a reaction/ habit
NMC - your MIL beggers belief. What a cow!