to be sick of DH's working hours

[Bloomingwellfedup]

and consider divorcing him if he does'nt get a new job .

DH's job is 12 hours (or more a day) starting mid morning so he is not normally home until between 10.00pm and midnight and I am sick of being on my own in the evening 5 days a week (days change every week).

He has been in this trade for the last 7 years and I also work fulltime 9-5 so have to do bedtimes, homework etc on my own. Worst thing is not being able to eat dinner together in the evenings and I get very lonely when the kids are in bed (when I finally get them into bed of course cos they play me up).

I would like to go out sometimes in the evenings (maybe join a club to make some friends as I don't know anybody where I live outside of work) but am chained to the house. Also DD1 is a bit older and would like to do activities in the evenings but she can't as I would have to keep younger 2 DCs up late so I could pick her up.

DH will not even look into finding something else and I have told him he is a selfish twunt and I can't face another 7 years of this. Get so jealous of other women whose DHs work 9-5!!

My DH works shifts, I spend alot of time on my own with the DSs. He is however looking to shift base and hours. How come your DH won't look at finding something else? My sympathies, it's v. hard.

It must be really hard. Does he want to get another job, could he get a job with more regular hours? Could you get a babysitter a couple of nights a week so you can go out?

do you need to maintain that wage to meet all your commitments?what does dh want?have you asked him to reduce hrs

I know how you feel, My DH is a chef and his shifts start at 10am and he normally gets in home around 11.30pm and that includes weekends.

I sometimes feel like a single parent but he's a fantastic dad when he is at home.

I'm not sure, was it like this when you married? if so yab a little u. My Dh is out every evening but its been like this since we met so i new what i was getting into. Presumably (sp)as he doesn't sart till later he lets you have a lie in most mornings?

I can appreciate you're seriously annoyed and upset but I think YABU to contemplate divorce - a bit harsh, surely??. Without knowing what your DH does for a living and the availability of alternate work it's hard to say whether or not he should change jobs!

He did'nt move into his current trade until 7 years after we met before that he was a 9-5er. It was supposed to be short term (after he was made redundant from an office job) but he liked it so stayed in it (Lorry driver). There are plenty of jobs in the trade and his current employer does have different hours (he could start very early and be home in the early evening) but he says they won't let him change his hours at the moment but I don't think he's asked them as he would have to get up v early and he does'nt like that!

I too feel like a single parent especially at weekends (and he is a good dad) and I have now come to an age when I am more interested in quality of family life rather than working all hours to earn as much money as possible as I don't think we're ever going to be well off and I am comfortable with my 7 year old car now . So even if he earned less it would not bother me. Every time we discuss it turns into a row as I think he's not bothered about how I feel and he is happy to carry on as he is . Was joking about the divorce although thinking about it, was I?

In that case yanbu.

COuld you find someone to look after the children which is what we did if we were both working late in the week. In fact I think at one stage we had the nanny stay late one night a week just so we knew we had that night off either both to work late or go out together or go out separately.

Ifyou started socialising and going out alone in the evenings I bet he'd take notice quite sharpish and consider the impact of leaving you alone every night.

My DH also works long hours and my compromise was the get an aupair. This means that I can work PT knowing I have some back up if the children are ill or if I need to stay late and it also means that instead of sitting in every night I can go out with my friends. I hate the long hours but they are part of the job.