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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ill child left in my care overnight.

19 replies

whoingodsnameami · 21/12/2008 12:02

So last night I had arranged a get together with a few girls for a mates birthday, being held at my house, my friend had no babysitter so I said (last week) than she can have a sleepover at mine, she arrived with her dd (7) who was ill, cough cold temp, etc. She woke at 12.30am with a fever, and friend gave her medicine and settled her back down. I suggested she ought to take her home as my 3 dc were ill too and waking through the night, that it would be hard work for me to be up with 4 ill children if they started to deteriarate (sp).

My friend assured me her dd would be fine and if she woke to sit with her for a while, and give her medicine.
I said what if I cant settle her? She said her dh was working until 3am so I could call him, but not to disturb them after that

Now I dont mind helping out where I can, but I did make it clear I was not happy about this, that a child should be at home when ill, I am a single mother and would not be able to catch up on sleep if I was up all night as I have no-one to help out..........so IABU?

I felt pressured into agreeing she can stop, and as it turned out she slept the rest of the night.

OP posts:

Coldtits · 21/12/2008 12:05

Well, you could have stated clearly "You have to take her home, I don't want to look after her if she is ill".

But yanbu to be a bit peeved about her attitude. I would be.

If your friend had no baby sitter was she a bit desperate for some time off and pushier than normal or is this typical of her attitude?

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 21/12/2008 12:06

I would have been firmer tbh rather than "suggesting". Your friend sounds rather domineering, or was this out of character?

littleoldme · 21/12/2008 12:07

YANBU - she should have asked you if you minded.

It's also not fair on her DC. I wouldn't like to wake up in un familiar surroundings when I was ill and be faced with someone other than my a parent.

It's horrible when you feel pressured like that but she was taking the piss. next time just say no !

Original poster

whoingodsnameami · 21/12/2008 12:07

Her dd stays over about once a fortnight, I dont have a problem with that, but yes she was quite pushy and I did'nt want to cause a fallout so just agreed to keep her.

OP posts:

Original poster

whoingodsnameami · 21/12/2008 12:08

She is fairly domineering, but normally reasonable eventually.

OP posts:

Original poster

whoingodsnameami · 21/12/2008 12:11

Damn, have to go, so dont think I am ignoring repies

OP posts:

Original poster

whoingodsnameami · 22/12/2008 16:35

And she still has'nt contacted to see how her dd was through the night (someone else picked her up and did'nt ask either)

OP posts:

nametaken · 22/12/2008 17:22

I think people suffer from a temporary madness this time of year.

Next time just say, sorry, I know I said she could stay over but I didn' realise she was gonna be this poorly, so you'll have to take her.

magentadreamer · 22/12/2008 17:38

YABU I can't believe that the damn woman would a) leave her sick child with you and b) inform you not to ring after 3am. I think the 3am bit gets me more - if someone had DD over night I'd not tell 'em when not to call me! I can't believe someone wouldn't want to be called at any time of the night if there child was ill. your friend is taking the p*sss big style.

Rookietherednosedreindeer · 22/12/2008 20:02

YANBU. How unfair on her poor DD to not be in her own bed with her own parents looking after her when poorly. Agree with magenta, some friend.

noonki · 22/12/2008 20:05

YANBU everything magenta said...what so if she was inconsolable at 3.10am you shouldnt ring

DoubleBluff · 22/12/2008 20:08

YANBU, if my child waas ill we would have both stayed at home and forgone the parrty.

Ebb · 23/12/2008 00:00

Sorry I'm a bit confused! Where was the mother? I thought you were having a get together at your house. Was the mother going somewhere else? I would have told her straight that she could not leave her sick child!

ElectraInExcelsis · 23/12/2008 00:14

YANBU - it's not as if she was staying with her dd there too. She shouldn't expect you attend to an ill child who is hers and not fair on her dd either imo.

Original poster

whoingodsnameami · 23/12/2008 10:19

Ebb, it was a get together at my house, the mother was there but left at the end of the night.

OP posts:

Dropdeadfred · 23/12/2008 10:30

I can see why she wouldn't want to take her child home in the early hours of the morning (I gues she would be walking not driving?)
BUT what on earth did you say to her when she told you not to disurb them after 3am????????

TotalChaos · 23/12/2008 10:33

YANBU. She should have stayed overnight at yours with her DD in the circumstances.

Ebb · 23/12/2008 13:29

I would have been really pissed off if I had been you. Like total chaos said, she should have stayed and looked after her daughter herself. You sound like you have more than enough to deal with looking after your own poorly children.

Original poster

whoingodsnameami · 23/12/2008 15:38

No she would'nt have walked her home (I of course would have happily kept her if that were the case) Her parents run a taxi firm, open til early hours.

OP posts:

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