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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to expect my in-laws to pick up my mum on the way to our house for xmas?

15 replies

calrabbit · 21/12/2008 12:02

All family coming to our house for xmas, we are doing xmas eve meal plus all xmas day stuff and boxing day. Pretty busy arranging all this. Asked in laws if they could pick up my mum on their way to our house as it is 15 mins out of their way (40 mins total max addition to their journey), it would save me a 3 hour round trip but when asked they said 'no' as it would take too long ?

Am I unreasonable?? Is this still the season of goodwill??

OP posts:

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 21/12/2008 12:04

They are your inlaws; therefore (imo) you should get your dh/dp to liaise with them.

Otherwise I would be tempted (childish though) to say to them "oh, you know we said come at midday, actually make that 3pm instead as I have to go and collect my mother!"

findtheriver · 21/12/2008 12:06

Tell them that as you now have to do a 3 hour trip, you'll be out on Xmas Eve and they'll have to eat out that night.Bet they'll soon change their tune.

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 21/12/2008 12:07

Are they normally "difficult"?

Joolyjoolyjoo · 21/12/2008 12:09

YANBU. I think they are being incredibly mean-spirited, tbh, and I think my goodwill would certainly a bit diminished at their attitude! When they arrive, immediately head out to pick up your mum and leave them twiddling their thumbs for 3hrs with no food or heating on! And take the plug off the TV!

onepieceofbrusselssprout · 21/12/2008 12:12

...and in addition to jooly's post leave them the veg and potatoes to prepare.

(leave a lightbulb in the kitchen but take the other bulbs out)

piscesmoon · 21/12/2008 12:18

I would tell them that in that case you will leave a key with the neighbour and they can let themselves in and you will leave them a list of instructions for the meal! You will take over when you get back from collecting your mother!

MrsMagooo · 21/12/2008 12:20

In addition to what the others have said make sure the cupboards are void of alcohol too!

YANBU - that's very mean on they're part.

cornsilk · 21/12/2008 12:20

How horrible of your inlaws!

kid · 21/12/2008 12:23

I think telling them to come 3 hours later than planned would be a good idea. That will hopefully put them out and make them realise they are being mean.
Do let us know the outcome!

cornsilk · 21/12/2008 12:24

Tell them to come the next day cheeky feckers.

NutterlyUts · 21/12/2008 12:28

I would guess this may be due to not wanting your mum to steal their grandparent thunder with the kids...

findtheriver · 21/12/2008 12:43

If that't the case nutterly, then even more important that the OP makes a firm stand. That's disgusting - grandparenting is not a competition! If a grandparent is sad enough to feel threatened like that then they really haven't got the interests of their grandchildren at heart.

Maybe the best approach is for the OP to take the kids with her when she goes to pick up her mum. As well as leaving all the meal prep to the in laws!!

HolyGuacamole · 21/12/2008 16:54

I agree with nutterly and brussel sprout.

makealist · 21/12/2008 17:18

Why don't you get your mum to sleep over Christmas Eve?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 21/12/2008 17:33

What's your dh's take on this?? does he think it's reasonable FWIW YANBU

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