I'm not a frequent poster on MN but am so upset and angry.
Have friend who, since I had ds, is always criticising my appearance which is apparently dull and boring, with suggestions about seeing a make up specialist, wearing a corset to keep my belly in (am a size 8, with no obvious tum!), wear more interesting clothes etc. Up til now I've ignored the comments but have been hurt by them. DH and I don't go out much, so I never really know what anyone is wearing, plus I'm too busy at work and chasing after ds that I don't always pay too much attention to these details, and have more to think about. But I do look after myself, use good products etc and don't think I do that bad
But last night we were out with group of friends for first time in ages. Spent ages choosing correct outfit, and had recently had hair dyed back to natural colour as was in v bad conditon. Also, have not been feeling very confident in myself and a bit down and anxious in the last few months which no one except dh knows about, but was looking forward to catching up with everyone.
So, cue lots of discussion between friend and acquaintance about me - couldn't hear what was said but could tell by looks on face and staring the general negative gist. Acquaintance (and her dp) later came up and both said "we do not like your new look" . Have not seen either of them in months and this was their first words to me. I was taken aback at this - and said so, politely. Then 10 mins later I caught her her and close friend discussing me again - to which I angrily confronted them and said they were rude discussing me so obviously like this, how dare they, where were their manners etc, and stomped off
I don't care what my friend thinks about how I look, which is slim, reasonably pretty when effort is put in!, but its the way she and others just feel its ok to say hurtful comments to me. Plus, they are not exactly catwalk material themselves, but I would never criticise my friend's or anyone else's appearance.
I've put up with this for ages and just blew up. I know my friend will phone me and expect me to apologise for overreacting and I really want to be assertive with her, and in fact stop being as friendly with her as I don't think this is a good relationship anymore.