To want to slap some sense into a random girl at the bus stop???

[jingleMAMADIVAsbells]

Sorry I know, I know rant but hey it really annoyed me.

Was at the bus station today for a good ten minutes stuck behind 2 girls who looked about 16/17YO and one of them had a baby (she said he was 2 weeks old), in a travel sytem and a really flimsy looking one at that, anyway the baby was crying she ignored him and just carried on talking to her friend 5 minutes latrer by this point baby was wailing and I mean I almost wanted to cry myself it was heartbreaking

So she got up off her arse and just pushed the hood over on the carseat not even speaking to LO then shoved the pram hood over to so it he was basically lying in darkness screaming and she said that'll drown it out he's doing my f*cking head in

Honestly I got on the bus after that but she was sitting on the steps talking to her mates in the freezing cold with LO just shoved in the corner in his pram screaming
I know it wouldn't have helped but I really wanted to slap her. I did make a few commentsnot nastily just trying to be helpful kind of whilst putting it across that she clearly wasnt looking after him.

I said oh I remember when my DS was that small he used to cry all the time when he was hungry or needed lifted up, maybe just try a cuddle (not particularly cheeky IMO.

To this she replied and what he's my kid not yours, I just looked miffed and then her mate told me to fuck off and keep my 'beak' out I just kept my mouth shut as had my 2.5YO with me

Really annoyed me and now Im quite worried about LO. Am I being daft?

tbh i dont actually think a lot of stuff like that is taen into account I see social services really failing the public and indeed our youth - thats one reason I dont work for them any more when i worked there I was a nursery nurse in one of their community houses (they dont do than anymore)and by the time the problems were identified.

Im continually shocked by events these days.

all this neglect and mistreatment of LOs makes me SO SO SAD, especially as a mum who has lost a much wanted baby, stillborn, they do not know how precious they are. I am not jumping on the bandwagon and doing competitive sadding (as I have seen it called on here), I really could cry. when its stuff on the news, I DO cry!

And then theres DHs cousin, just learned that her final attempt at IVF, in which she has her best ever egg,and 3 fertilised eggs implanted, has failed. This follows 2 previous failures. So unfair. why do the people who treat their kids like shit not give them up for adoption to someone who really has lots of love to give?

loobey its bloody awful, you have my sympathy and i would never use that word 'competetive sadding'.

YANBU, I actually feel quite upset and tearful reading that. Poor baby.

Loobey, I am so sorry

It does me good to read posts like yours every now and again to remind me not to take my ds for granted and get ratty when he's being especially hard work.

Thanks, but no need to be sorry for me MrsSeanBean, loss was shit of course, but I have 3 lovely DCs and KNOW how lucky I am. I just DO NOT KNOW what to say to DH cousin when we see her over Christmas, I feel so GUILTY for having my kids!

Oh pooor little one, well done for trying MAMA.

This reminds me of few weeks ago in Next, another pair of very young girls, one had a little girl about 2ish who wasn't strapped in to her pushchair. They were rifling through clothes for ages, ignoring the LO who was asking for a drink. Eventually the LO got so bored she went to get up, and fell out of the pushchair, hitting her horehead on a metal peg on a low display (stupid place for it but anyway).
Her mum picked up up, slammed her back in her puschchair shouting and f'ing at her for climbing out, she's been told to to do it etc.. the little girl was in shock and beside herself, doing the long wait without breathing then just sobbing, holding her arms out for a cuddle and just getting sweared at. I so wanted to say "you should have had her stapped in and look, she's despeate for some comfort", but the friend was standing there glaring at my shocked face just waiting for me to open my mouth so she could kick off...
Feeling vulnerable at nearly 7 months PG and having my son with me, I didn't say anything, but left, fighting back tears for this LO. Felt so guilty afterwards, but I just don't know in those situations, where minding your own business ends and taking some responsibility begins...

YANBU

poor baby

the only thing in her defence (maybe) is that perhaps she is really struggling, we all know how hard it is and she might not have much support, if any.

She may resent the baby for intruding on her life, especially as a teenageer, wanting to do typical teenage stuff.

There is no defence for their reaction to you and I think credit to you for saying something, helpfully.

I just know that when my DD cried a lot and I knew she was fed, warm and just tired, I found it very frustrating. I never ignored her but thats me and I am not 16/17. I wonder whether her "ignoring" the baby was a show to her peer that the baby had not interruped her life. Hopefully at home she is very different, she may have been up all night with a baby that she can't stop from crying - it does drive you to the edge.

I used to have just fed my DD, sometimes for an hour or so, then we would pop out and she would cry and some well meaning person would always say "oh maybe she is hungry" and it would make me want to cry. I felt very inadequate.

However, maybe she just doesn't care

I think you did as much as you reasonably could. You did a good thing even saying something.

You clearly weren't going to get any further 'sense-wise' with this couple of guttersnipes without getting a big filthy mouthful.

You're totally right, your DC didn't need to see that.

Try and possibly forget about it now. Chances are she pushed it home and her mother is looking after it now.

(She's probably giving it a Bombay Badboy Pot Noodle for it's dinner, then tucked up my midnight

My niece (my husband's side)had her baby at 17yrs old and lived in a mother and baby unit for the first year or so and now they have a flat in a "nice" area, she had turned down loads and i don't blame her.
But what really upsets me is that she just expects her mum to look after the grandaughter EVERY weekend so she can go out clubbing.
Ok, she is young but she does have responsibilities. When we have any familly gathering, she NEVER interacts with her daughter and just lets everyone else look after her. The dad is still on the scene and he does most of the childcare and he works but she does not.
Maybe she has PND? But its just so sad that her child never has nice cuddles (as far as i've seen.
Actually, when the said child hurts herself or anything she NEVER goes to her mum, always the dad or granny/grandad.

I think you did all you could at the time and more than most would ahve done (probably me included)
This sort of thing does worry me. There's a spectrum of parenting, methods that many people who most would consider loving, good parents use, that other people would consider to be harmful. I'm not going to go into specifics. Yet I think it's fairly obvious to most people where the line is drawn between a good parent and a bad one, even given different parenting styles. So how do you specify where the line is to be drawn? Or do we only tend to 'get it right' in hindsight?

I usually tend to fume but say nothing, and then go home and fume some more, with a bit of hating myself as well.

Something about bus stops ...they bring out the worst n people somehow. Yesterday I saw a woman carry two children off the bus, one in each hand, banging them together like cymbals and swearing at them. I'm still in shock.

Last week there was a girl at the same stop with two dds who she all but ignored while she smoked a roll-up that smelled to me of dope. I looked at it very hard and at her too, and she moved around the back so I couldn't see her any more. I suppose she thought I might say something to her, but I actually couldn't think what to say. I know people with some medical conditions smoke dope as a kind of pain relief, but do they do it at bus stops at 8:00 am?

YANBU that is so sad

Good on you for saying something - I wouldn't have been able to stop myself either!

Poor baby, there are so many people out there desperate to have a baby too

Lotster, that's so
It break my heart to think of all the poor kiddies who are never shown any love or comfort. I don't know why / how people can be so hard. When my ds has a tuumble hurts himself I feel his pain and usually end up crting more then he does!

I remember often being upset seeing things like this when I worked in a supermarket.

Poor babies.

Not seen it with small babies but with young kids of 3 or 4 I've seen a mum continually walk away from him saying "fuck off" "I don't want you" etc. etc. and recently another mum in a shopping centre saying to her young daughter "well I don't want you any more" etc.

I know it's very very difficult with demanding kids but surely kids shouldn't hear stuff like that, they always look so sad. (I have to say that on both occasions the child wasn't being particularly naughty, maybe just a bit wearing by repeating same thing over and over etc.)

Well done for saying something, there's always a chance that despite her defensive attitude it might make her think about the way she deals with her baby.

Well done Mama for actually saying something. If we would all do this it might make some parents re-think the way they treat their dc's.