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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or am I expecting too much?

18 replies

mckenzie · 20/12/2008 08:41

Dh was away working last week and came back tuesday night. He had dinner with the DCs and I on wednesday. Thursday night he went to a 50th birthday party and came home at 3.30am so was still in bed until gone 9am and didn't see the children. Yesterday he had his christmas lunch do but said he wouldn't be home late (I can quote him on that, it was via e mail).
He got in at 5.50am this morning.

He usually takes DS to football at 10 am while I take DD to her club for 9.30am but I've had to tell DS he will have to come with DD so he is upset.
We're going to his mum's this afternoon for an early christmas dinner etc as we go away early tuesday morning and presents still need to be wrapped, cards written etc but I can't see DH getting out of bed before about 2pm so I will be expected to do that while keeping the DCs entertained at the same time.

Am I being unreasonable to be cross with him?

OP posts:
blametheparents · 20/12/2008 08:52

I would be p*ssed off too. I went out last night for drinks with old friends, but I didn't get so bladdered that i can't function this morning, sense of responsibility and all that. Esp bad in that he knows he was supposed to take DS out this morning, could you poss get someone to take him to football so he doesn't miss out?

naturalblonde · 20/12/2008 09:12

I would be fuming. YANBU. In fact I think you go and open curtains and window, pull duvet off and tell him to get his sorry, hungover arse out of bed.

kslatts · 20/12/2008 09:13

I agree that YANBU.

My Dh went out last night, but was home and in bed before 1am because he is taking dd's out at about lunchtime to a football match so that I can wrap all their stocking presents, I would of been really pissed off if he had showed up at 5.50am.

I went out last Saturday but only had a couple of drinks because I knew dh was working Sunday morning and I needed to get up and take dd's to their 9am swimming lesson.

naturalblonde · 20/12/2008 09:13

You should go

magentadreamer · 20/12/2008 09:50

He went on an Xmas lunch and returned home at 5.50am? I'd be fuming and I'd still expect him to get his lazy ass outta bed to do what he's supposed to do with his DS.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 20/12/2008 09:56

I don't mind the occasional staying out until silly hours.

What I would seriously object to is letting DS down about football. You can be as silly as you like but not when it starts impacting on other people.

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 20/12/2008 09:58

Don't be cross, what a waste of energy, go up there pull all the covers off the bed and tip a glass of water over his head. It may not get him up but it will probably make you feel childishly bettter, if it does get him up point out all the things that have to be accomplished today AS A FAMILY. If it doesn't get him up keep going in there and tipping water over him until he does get up.

ilovelovemydog · 20/12/2008 09:58

If it's just once a year where he goes a bit off the rails, I wouldn't bother. Unless he does this sort of thing every week?

skidaddle · 20/12/2008 10:00

I would be livid - letting his son down because he was plastered. i would go and shout at him and make him get up, what a twunt - what would we all be saying if it was the mother who behaved like this?

whonickedmynickname · 20/12/2008 11:01

I'm with natural blonde! haul his lazy hungover bottom out of bed -the least he can do is wrap pressies in a corner while you juggle the other stuff. And make sure he apologizes profusely to your DS - in person and makes it up to him in some way - DS deserves that at the very least

ClausImWorthIt · 20/12/2008 11:26

By letting him stay in bed until he wakes up you are giving the message that this is acceptable.

Go and wake him up and tell him that he has things to do.

phraedd · 20/12/2008 11:53

tell your ds to throw a glass of cold water over you dh so that he knows how upset your ds is with him

Your DH isn't being very responsible

ilovejonty · 20/12/2008 12:46

NBU at all. I think he's being very unfair / unreasonable to leave all the prepartions to you.

Original poster
mckenzie · 20/12/2008 12:57

thanks guys. I just went out and left him in bed because I know that if I had made him get up, we would all suffer all day long because he would be tired and therefore ratty and moody.

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody · 20/12/2008 13:04

I would make it clear he knew just how much he had let his son down, and then go out yourself for a few nights leaving him in charge for a few days.

Original poster
mckenzie · 20/12/2008 13:20

I'd like to do something like that omdb but I probably wouldn't as it won't be fair on the DCs. Plus I know he's working hard right now and needs to have some R&R time but...... Whatever i do now I'll come across as being a spoil sport and not appreciating the festive season etc. I think for my own sake I am going to have my little rant on here and now just get on with it and enjoy the rest of the day (MIL doing dinner and she's a great cook) and bide my time until tuesday when we fly out to Florida for the holidays and I can strangle him quietly

OP posts:
Overmydeadbody · 20/12/2008 13:58

Well I'm sure your DC will survive in his hands for a day at least so you can have some sort of break? Maybe in Florida you can get a day to yourself for pampering/shopping/getting sloshed while he looks after sprogs?

Original poster
mckenzie · 20/12/2008 14:01

sorry, I must have sounded like I was being very precious about my DCs. You are right of course - they would survive! and yes, maybe in Florida I will send them off to the parks one day and stay at the villa by myself and do absolutely nothing except drink lemon iced tea and eat whatever is in the fridge. Oh bliss!

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