Presents from relatives being opened before Christmas?

[Fleurlechaunte]

I have thought long and hard about starting this thread. I did a similar one this time last year.

My MIL came last night with three presents each for dc and wanted us to open them there and then so she could see their faces. I said no. I think it makes Christmas less special if presents are opened before hand. I offered that a smaller present than the big main ones be opened as a compromise but that was not accepted. It was all or nothing basically.

AIBU not to have let dc open these presents before Christmas? I am doubly irritated because this is the third Christmas in a row that it has been an issue. MIL says herself that she would not have let her own dc open presents before Christmas but expects me to. I think Christmas should be special and exciting and I don't think it is if you open every present as you get it. PIL are away for Christmas, again as they have been the last two years. Their choice. So AIBU?

None of our family live near us , so we always have a separate christmas celebration with each family over the december period, and stay at home for our own Christmas. We always open presents . It would be really unfair to be happy for relatives to spend money on us and our children but deprive them of seeing the pleasure their presents bring.Our children are teenagers and we have done this since the youngest was two . I don't think they find christmas any less special. This weekend we will be seeing my parents , sisters family and my nan . We will all be opening our presents. I enjoy buying things for my family and like to see them enjoy the gifts.

Christmas is about sharing happiness with other people. That is the only must-have Christmas tradition imo. How you set about it= entirely your business.

This always seems such an emotive issue. My opinion is that gifts are as much about giving as they are about receiving. That being the case, the joy of opening a gift should be shared with the giver whenever possible. So I think YABU and should have allowed MIL to share the joy of giving with her dgcs if she isn't going to see them on christmas day. To do otherwise seems to me to make christmas about accumulation and the size of the pile of presents rather than about giving and receiving tokens of love and affection.

If she was able to come in the evening isn't she near enough to see on Christmas Day?

I think it is reasonable for close relatives who will not see the child on the day/few days afterwards, to want to see the child open their gifts. Most kids get so much all in one go, its better to break it up a bit, we generaly have 2 or 3 "Christmasses", all of which are special and exciting.

yabvu. if someone goes to the trouble of buying a present, it's the most polite thing to do to let them se the recipient open the gift. people are more important than your irrational ideas of what special means

If it happens every year and you never get to see them on Christmas Day then I should get a special time with them. I wouldn't like the idea of them just dropping round and opening them with no ceremony, but you could invite them to tea-get the DCs to make some special cakes or make a gingerbread house with them. Have Chrismas crackers, or the DCs making a little show or something special and have an opening ceremony of their presents. It seems unfair if they never get to see them open their gifts.

We're going to my parents for the day tomorrow and the children will open their presents from the gps then. This has lots of advantages:

1. as Fleur says, it dilutes the excitement of the Christmas build-up (and I think this is a good thing! - dcs are 6,3 and 1, and I like to limit the uncontrolled excitement)
2. it keeps the children happy and busy during what would otherwise be a long and boring day in my parents' tiny house with my parents sitting on their sofas taking photos of my children (in preference to interacting with them in any way), whilst I try to stop the children climbing the walls too much
3. much better to get it out of the way before Christmas, rather than still have the prospect of it hanging over me at Christmas
4. my mum likes to see them open the presents she has bought
5. I like my mum to see them not appreciating the tat
6. the children have new toys to entertain them during the last couple of days before Christmas so I don't have to be taking them out in the cold to keep them entertained
7. not so many presents to do on Christmas day, so they might actually appreciate and play with some of the things we have bought them
8. our presents come last - so they don't get eclipsed

best stop there I think