bit of a long story but bear with me and would love to hear your honest opinions please.
There is a woman at work who I have lunch with every day (lets call her lunchlady). We are not friends outside of work but always had lunch together. My dh and I had been trying to conceive for a few months and the woman knew this, so when we finally conceived I told her. She was specifically told that only she knew and I said I would be telling work in the new year when I would be 14 weeks as didn't want to tell everyone before xmas as didn't want them worrying at all about staffing etc.
At 11 weeks did tell another colleague (will call her higherlady) who I am more friends with (but who is in a higher position at work that me or the other woman which is why I didn't say anything until later on).
Anyway, to cut to the chase, on Tuesday, was told by higherlady that the manager of my office knew that I was pregnant as he had asked lunchlady and she had told him. A little later manager then came to me and told me he knew!
Was obviously annoyed at both manager and lunchlady: at manager for asking someone directly (I have been moody at work, and am showing a bit, but only if you know I am pg iykwim), but also at lunchlady for telling him.
I confronted her the next day, as she still had failed to tell me that manager knew or apologise. She said he put her on the spot and she assumed I had told him. I reminded her that just 3 days earlier when she said I needed to tell them, I had said I was going to do so after xmas! She said she just though I must have said. This is a blatant lie as she knows I wouldn't have and that I would have told her first ifI was going to do that.
Manager has said that I had put her (lunchlady)in a difficult position as she is the health and safety rep and that if something happened to me and others knew she knew then she could be in trouble. I politely informed him that it is only once a woman has told work (which she has the right to up until 25 weeks - I am only 12 weeks!) then there is no need to do a risk assessment and if I had not informed them and something did happen I wouldn't have a leg to stand on!
I was not rude to lunchlady when confronting her, but was quite firm and direct as I wanted her to know I was upset and that she should not have said anything. I did ask her what other stuff she has told the mnager that I have told her inconfidence (such as my desire to be PT upon return to work) and she said she was offended that I would even think that she would tell someone something like that! I said that after what had happened I didn't know any more. The conversation did move on and I assumed everything was Ok as we then carried on chatting for at least another 15 mins and itwas friendly and civil.
Got into work this morning and was told by higherlady that lunchlady had complained to the manager (informally when they went for lunch together) that I was being horrible to her and that she felt uncomfortable!
I know I wasn't that nice to her when talkign about what happned, but didn't want to be a pushover (which I normally am, but am feistier than normal at mo due to hormones I think). Feel she is trying to turn it around and play the victim.
Now, if you are still with me after all this - am I being unreasonable - shouldn't I be the one annoyed at her? Does she have the right to be annoyed at me?