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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want dp to buy our ds anymore Christmas presents?

19 replies

leoleomakingalist · 18/12/2008 19:19

I have said he has too much already and he really does and that is without my sisters who have spent quite a lot on him (one sister spends what most parents spend!)and dp's family.
He will not appreciate that amount of presents and it's his birthday is in April so the 'My First Scalelctrix' that dp has decided he must have could wait until then.
ALSO - I wanted to get him some books but that fell on deaf ears.
I really don't want him being really spoilt..

OP posts:
prettybutterfly · 18/12/2008 19:30

Is this your first Christmas?
How old is he?
Are you financially comfortable or are you struggling?
These things are all relevant!

Original poster
leoleomakingalist · 18/12/2008 19:35

Nope - ds is 3.5yo.
Financially at the moment - we aren't struggling for food etc but we tend to rob Peter to pay Paul because dp spends money without a budget so tends to pay in a panic when the red bill arrives.
Dp was hardly home in November doing overtime to pay for Christmas and to get through the 6 weeks to next payday.
Also honestly my ds has so much already (he likes the wooden Thomas which is so expensive in the first place).

OP posts:
prettybutterfly · 18/12/2008 19:45

Sounds like you're being reasonable. How you get dp to acknowledge that is another matter though!

Othersideofthechannel · 18/12/2008 19:59

Can you persuade him to put some aside for the birthday?

More important his father is home spending time with him rather than earning money to buy things your DS doesn't really need.

Could you persuade your DP to read 'Raising boys?'

Original poster
leoleomakingalist · 18/12/2008 20:12

He just about reads The Sun and getting him to do anything is impossible. I will have to try the art of allowing him to think it is his idea..

OP posts:
Shitemum · 18/12/2008 20:15

Hide half the gifts in the attic once he's opened them and bring them out again for his birthday.
Tell your DP to get real

tiredsville · 18/12/2008 20:47

My DH is the same, he buys all these toys randomly, not really giving it much thought.
I like to buy DS one big present, followed by smaller presents.
When I ask, "what did you get him that for?" He'll just say matter of factly, "because I wanted to." And give me a look as if to say,'What has it got to do with you?.'
I just think going over the top is unnecessary and doesn't make the DC any happier.

Original poster
leoleomakingalist · 19/12/2008 07:39

tiredsville - exactly!
I honestly would like to spoil ds but I think he will be much happier on the day and in the long run with less.
I can't really remember what I got for Christmas as a Child but I am sure it was 1 main present then smaller things from relatives.

OP posts:
FiveDollarShake · 19/12/2008 07:55

DP does this with my DS. We go into a toyshop and agree to spend X amount of money and come out with a trolley full of stuff.
In my DP's case I think he does it because he had nothing as a child.......all the things he wanted but never got he gets for DS.
He never does it with DD though which really annoys me.

Othersideofthechannel · 19/12/2008 08:53

FiveDollar, if he is only getting excited about boys toys, it sounds like he wants those toys for himself!

PuppyDrunky · 19/12/2008 08:59

Let him have the Scalextrix for Christmas and you keep all the other prezzies back til April...

Cupofteaplease · 19/12/2008 09:00

My dh hasn't bought a single gift for the dds- it's all been up to me- again! I'd love for him to come home with something that HE had put some thought into... Maybe next year

Although I can see that if you have set a limit, and he is often like this, then it would be annoying.

lilacclaire · 19/12/2008 09:04

Sounds like he's trying to live his ideal christmas through your ds , my dp is exactly the same, wasnt allowed christmas when he was small so overcompensates, I just let him get on with it and gently remind him that we won't have enough money left for food if he carries on, that usually does the trick

Othersideofthechannel · 19/12/2008 09:40

I agree that going OTT is unnecessary and doesn't make the DC any happier.

But it seems like some of you don't give the father's much say. Do you not discuss it in advance?

Or is the problem that you make mutual decisions and then they go and improvise a whole lot of other stuff?

Othersideofthechannel · 19/12/2008 09:40

fathers [aargh]

Yanda · 19/12/2008 12:34

Yes, but it is not just about you is it? I think you both need to discuss and come to an agreement about the presents that you are both happy with. Just because you think he has too much already, doesn't mean that what you say goes because you are both his parents.

I think it sounds like you need a good chat about money too.

Original poster
leoleomakingalist · 19/12/2008 18:59

We had discussed and agreed the gifts and he has already gone and bought a large extra gift and off the top of my head 4-5 others costing between £15-£35 each.
This is without stocking gifts! It is excessive.

OP posts:
Othersideofthechannel · 19/12/2008 19:33

Well if you have really discussed it in advance (rather than just told him the way it's going to be in advance) fair enough to feel a bit miffed.

It is a bit excessive.

Yanda · 19/12/2008 19:38

It still sounds like you need a good chat regardless.

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