AIBU to change our Christmas plans this late?

[ThreeShipsComesailingin]

We are meant to be going to stay at my sister's on Christmas Eve, then to DH's family nearby on Christmas Day and back to my sister's for Boxing Day. DH now says that he wants to drive up on Christmas Day, go straight to his family then over to my sister's for the evening. He says there'll be less traffic, and it would be nice to be at home on Christmas Eve.

I know my sister has planned dinner that evening, and she'll be disappointed, but I'd quite like to be at home on C Eve too. Would it be unreasonable to change our plans now? For those of you 'hosting' Christmas, would you be really annoyed if your family changed plans like this?

I'd be fine with it, but I don't mind too much about that kind of thing.

Sorry its probably not what you want to hear - but I think I would be disappointed if I'd planned for you coming and then you didnt.

But can see why you might want to change plans - depends on your realtionship with your sister I suppose.

Hmm, Personally I'd be quite annoyed, because I'd have already done the shopping and planned the food etc

Was it already planned to be at your sister's xmas day night? If all you'd be doing is cancelling xmas eve and keeping the other plans then I'd just test the waters, mention to her that DH has said about staying home Xmas eve and see how she reacts.

I'd be slightly annoyed but if you explained it like you have on here then I'd understand. Does she have family of her own? She's likely to be more understanding if she does. Also, if you tell her now it's not leaving it till right at the last minute.

I would be very disappointed - and probably, if I'm honest, a bit cross. But I make a big deal out of Christmas, and look forward to it for months!

I think she'll be disappointed especially if you've set this up to go there C Eve more than a week ago.. i.e. She's had time to plan something and buy in food.

However.. she's your sister and we all break plans sometimes because its easier last minute or because you really feel you need the night at home with your own little family because it would be nice to have some of Christmas for just 'you'. Many times over holidays I have wished I hadn't got overexcited and made so many plans with family and friends!!

I am sure she'd understand if she loves you/has empathy. You could always arrange another day for you all to go see her for a meal after boxing day to make up for it. If she backed out on you last minute you'd be ok about..disgruntled for a while.. but ok about it. Thats what sisters are for?

Dunno if that helps TSC. Just be sure you know what you want to do on C Eve before you call her.

xxx

I would be very disappointed.

Do what VS said. Sounds right to me!

Hmm, thought I might be being a bit unreasonable. We were planning to stay there for an extra day, if that helps. But you're all probably right -it's a bit too mean to change now.

Just see how she feels about it, she may have overstretched herself and be wishing she could cancel for all you know.

Also do you really want to be travelling on Christmas Day ? How far is it ?

Its about 2 hours, probably less on Christmas Day...

"We were planning to stay there for an extra day, if that helps"

What if your sister has plans??

Hit post too soon. I think changing plans at this late stage is a bit rude TBH - she has probably already ordered food, done menu planning etc.....

I wouldn't be that bothered if I hadn't already done the shopping, but if my dd's were expecting someone to come and stay on xmas eve and then they changed their plans they would be a bit disappointed.

Does your sister have children?

Nope. In my family, this would be completely and totally unacceptable. You've made plans - as others have said, she's probably planned menus and food and other things and is probably looking forward to it. And to cancel just because you "would quite like to be at home" is a slap in the face. "Oh sorry, yes, yes, I know we said we'd come to you but really, we'd far rather be at home with our own family, notwitstanding plans you've made etc".

So YABU IMO.

But... next year, remember this and don't make this kind of plan in the first place.

Yes, she has 2 kids that love my dcs - and vice versa. OK. IABU.

Actually - I think it would be ok. I would be a bit disappointed but would think of the bonus of an extra evening to do stuff (even if that stuff is kicking back with a glass of wine in front of the TV). Given that you have well thought through alternative to go over on the evening of Christmas Day etc I would think that was fine - it's family, not friends. And anyway, it's nearly a week away - I certainly haven't bought food for then, it would just mean an adjustment to the shopping list. But then maybe I'm just quite a flexible person

(NB RL people to whom I've been ranting - I like a plan even if it then changes, even at the last minute, it's the not having a plan that I'm cross about in RL and our Christmas!)