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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to be fed up about this?

20 replies

Grumpytirednamechanger · 18/12/2008 05:41

DS (22 months) has been ill and not sleeping well the last few days, and it has been 90% me going up and down the stairs to sort him out. I ended up wasting most of my evening last night (and also Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night) as the only way he will settle for longer is if I cuddle him on our bed (the coughing and wheezing is waking him up every hour or less otherwise) and then I end up asleep a lot of the times. DP says he will come up and get me if I drop asleep but often he will leave me for ages while he finishes watching a film (for example). I have loads to do after he's gone to bed this time of year.

Anyway, last night I went up to put him to bed for around 8:30, back upstairs at half 9 'till just before 11pm, then half an hour or so later he woke again. SO I went upstairs and ended up having a broken night's sleep lying alongside him in full clothing while he occasionally woke up, accidentally bopped me in the nose a few times etc. I woke up about 2 hours ago (3am) freezing to see DS crawling over to bedside table and hear him knock my glasses to the floor ("Uh-oh!"). I can't see very much at all without them (very poor eyesight) so when DP finally came up to bed just before 5am (he'd fallen asleep on the sofa) I asked him to help me look for them. He point blank refused and said he was coming to bed, complaining that I was selfish to ask for this. I said it was important for me to have my glasses to see and also know where they are - as they are my only pair! He grumbled and groaned and said "Find them yourself because I'm going to bed!". I them asked again and added that I can't actually SEE my glasses because of my shortsightedness, and I worried that someone would step/lie on them. Also I needed to go downstairs and sort things before he was due to be up (he generally won't get up until the last minute - giving himself just enough time to get himself ready for work but not a lot else). He refused again, and then eventually had a look, complaining bitterly throughout. He said he could see my glasses under the bed. I asked him to reach them for me as I couldn't see them - he said "Get them yourself it's 5 in the morning!" . Eventually he did get them but he was very unpleasant about it and said that I could "go now" (implying that I should now go downstairs out of the way so he could sleep).
So, am I being unreasonable to be sitting here fuming about this? He has been able to stay downstairs and basically watch TV all night while I ran up and down like a yo-yo, but he couldn't even be arsed to look for my glasses!!! Which I need to see much beyond about 4 inches ahead of me!!! I realise he's at work tomorrow (whereas I'll be stopping off and looking after poorly ds), but really it is asking too much to help me find them so that I can go downstairs if I need to (while he sleeps), is it?

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 18/12/2008 05:50

YANBU, I sympathise as a fellow shortsighted gal. My DH doesn't understand what it's like without my glasses first thing in the morning either. I bet your DH was just tired and grumpy, although he was very rude and inconsiderate.
Sleep deprivation is a killer though, he won't have got a good night's sleep on the sofa.
Hope your DS is better soon and you can all get some sleep

Grumpytirednamechanger · 18/12/2008 08:33

Thanks Lizzylou - I guess I was ranting a bit but I was very tired (still am) and it's a bit rich that he won't put himself out to help me find something that enables me to SEE properly when he regularly wakes me to ask about the location of his trousers, shoes, wallet etc!

OP posts:
inSanityClause · 18/12/2008 08:38

hide his keys

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 18/12/2008 08:44

Yes hide his keys and refuse to help him look, miserable, grumpy, fecker

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 18/12/2008 08:44

Yes hide his keys and refuse to help him look, miserable, grumpy, fecker

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 18/12/2008 08:44

Yes hide his keys and refuse to help him look, miserable, grumpy, fecker

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 18/12/2008 08:44

Yes hide his keys and refuse to help him look, miserable, grumpy, fecker

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 18/12/2008 08:44

oh here we go

VinegarTitsTheSeasonToBeJolly · 18/12/2008 08:44

oh here we go

ReinDIORdroppings · 18/12/2008 08:46

Message withdrawn

claw3 · 18/12/2008 08:50

Dont bother hiding his keys, just divorce him, that should do the trick

WhileShosheWatchedHerFlocks · 18/12/2008 08:52

refresh VT refresh

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 18/12/2008 09:05

You're allowing him to behave like this though you need to put your foot down and tell him that as your partner he should be working with you, and then you need to stop doing things for him, like getting up in the morning before him and sorting his stuff out.

mumof2222222222222222boys · 18/12/2008 09:18

YANBU. He sounds thoroughly unpleasnat,, unhelpful and thoughtless.

I can only see about an inch infront of my nose so I sympathise re the specs.

I think you need to put your foot down big time. He is a grown up - although doesn't sound like he behaves like one.

I do hope you have a better day.

pamelat · 18/12/2008 09:34

YANBU. Sometimes in the middle of the night though I think most people become grumpy and very selfish. I noticed this when DD was little and DH and I used to be quite sharp to each other in the night, and then fine (but tired) come morning.

kslatts · 18/12/2008 10:35

YANBU - I would be really angry.No excuse for not helping with your DS.

ISawMumiKissingSantaClaus · 18/12/2008 10:39

YANBU. Hide his keys AND THEN divorce him!

BouncingTinsel · 18/12/2008 10:40

VT - you are just an attention seeker admit it!

GTNC - that your dp is such a lazy, selfish tossbag. Of course YANBU. You have pointed out that ds is HIS son too? I think you need to start laying down the line with him - you've already got one child to look after, you don't need another one who SHOULD be acting like an adult.

kitbit · 18/12/2008 10:52

He's a git. Forget the keys. Hide the toilet roll.

brightongirldownunder · 18/12/2008 10:52

YANBU. He's a selfish twat. My DH exactly the same. I do all night time wakings because he is incapable of waking up. Then he wonders why I look like I've been beaten up in the morning. I had flu last week and not only did he not help with DD but I didn't get any TLC either. I'm just waiting till he gets ill, then he will pay...
Go on laundry strike (I doubt he does the washing) and make him re-wear his soiled boxers until he apologises.

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