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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH drinking after work

28 replies

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 17/12/2008 21:44

DH said he would be going for a drink 'after work'. Work ended 5 hours ago. Am I the only one who sits at home worrying until he walks through the door safe? And I know I will be irritated if he is drunk.

OP posts:
beanieb · 17/12/2008 21:45

is it a one off?

hf128219 · 17/12/2008 21:48

It is Christmas - and he is a grown man

Turniphead1 · 17/12/2008 21:52

If it's once in a while, YABU. If it happens often, YANBU.

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 17/12/2008 21:57

It is not often - and its Christmas. And I probably should try and forget about it, but I go through all these 'what-ifs' - he drives over the limit, gets in a fight, can't get home....

OP posts:
MumtoCharlieandLola · 17/12/2008 22:03

If you are worried, can you not text him ?

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 17/12/2008 22:10

You are right - I can text him. Hopefully he will be home soon.

OP posts:
Turniphead1 · 17/12/2008 22:14

send something like - just checking you are ok and having fun. Enjoy your night xxx

rather than some ars*y text.

MumtoCharlieandLola · 17/12/2008 22:20

My dh went out one night and I woke at 2.00 a.m. to feed ds2 and dh wasn't in bed next to me. I went downstairs, made the bottle, fed ds2 and went back to bed. Now wide awake (and slightly worried) I rang dh, and heard phone ringing downstairs.

After a few moments of confusion thinking, could have sworn he took his phone with him, I went back down and there he was, passed out on the floor of the lounge, full length and in rather a bad condition. How I missed him lying there on the floor on my earlier trip downstairs, I do not know.

Cautiously I got a bowl out of the cupboard and then woke him up. We got half way upstairs before said bowl came into use. That was last Christmas !

Not that I want to worry you or anything LSIntD

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 17/12/2008 22:23

Lol MumTo - how did you miss him?!! Hope my DH not out till early hours though - will take Turnip's advice in a mo.

OP posts:
pamelat · 17/12/2008 22:26

I dont think 10pm is late for after work drinks but maybe he could have given you a rough idea of when he would be back, especially if you are prone to worry.

I would "expect" a text about 10pm to say see you later or good night etc. Just to know he is safe and well.

ScottishMummy · 17/12/2008 22:33

look if he goes out gets munted all the time be irritated.xmas drink no biggie,unclench

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 17/12/2008 22:53

No sign yet. All good advice here, much appreciated level heads. Will txt then try and get some ZZZZZs for me.

OP posts:
Panta · 17/12/2008 23:24

nah. He'll be at a strip joint having a shapely bootie shoved in his face, which he will pay the next 6 months child alowance for.

But don't worry about it.....

harleyd · 17/12/2008 23:26

its xmas
even if it wasnt, sure he's a big boy, he'll get home. go to bed, sleep well, and laugh at his hangover tomorrow

thatwasfun · 17/12/2008 23:29

TBH at this time of year I wouldn't expect an after work drink to end until closing time (actually any time of year where I work) and even then there's plenty of potential to go on somewhere, but he should let you know if he's going to do that. But I'm sure he's been drinking very responsibly If not you know he's gonna pay!

Any response to your text?

Notintheknow · 17/12/2008 23:38

Light - completely sympathise. My DH has been out at evening events that are "necessary for client relations" almost every night this week and last. And his parents are staying at the mo. I'm trying to pretend not to be irritated but it does really bother me at times. But if you do react too strongly you start to turn into the narled old nagging wife caricature.

Notintheknow · 17/12/2008 23:39

Make that 'gnarled'. It's late...

ScottishMummy · 17/12/2008 23:42

but some of these do's are client related.unfortunately someone has to pretend to like em

harleyd · 17/12/2008 23:43

gnarled sounds so much scarier worse than narled

lilolilbethlehem · 17/12/2008 23:46

I don't think being out late is an issue in itself, it's Christmas and we all have a right to party, married or not. But I'd be mightily pissed off if my DH didn't have enough respect for me to let me know where he was or warn me that he was going to be late. if when you give him hell tomorrow, focus on the fact that he should have respected you enough to call and that you have been worried, of course you're happy for him to go out for a drink for as long as he wants, as long as you know where he is and it's not affecting any other family arrangements. Not sure why you didn't phone or text him tho (sorry if you've explained that, just skimmed the thread cos need to go to bed!)

Original poster
LightShinesInTheDarkness · 17/12/2008 23:47

He rang when he got text. Hang my head in shame . DH came in 11pm stone cold sober after one shandy and several cokes. I am clearly nuts.

OP posts:
Panta · 17/12/2008 23:49

big shiney ones, Light.

harleyd · 17/12/2008 23:49

ah bless

thatwasfun · 17/12/2008 23:50

If it helps, notintheknow, I've been out on dos like this at least twice a week for the last 6 weeks. Some are fun, most just need to be got through (which is why I drink so much ) and they really are necessary for client relations/to do your bit for the team.

Light, My best advice would be to make sure you're alseep when he gets in, that way you're not irriated by him coming in drunk and then get up all bright and breezy in the morning, while he struggles to get out of bed for work If you can tell the DCs Daddy needs someone to bounce on the bed to help him wake up, all the better!

lilolilbethlehem · 17/12/2008 23:58

don't be . He should have kept you updated on when he was likely to be back. If you love someone, you worry about them if you don't know where they are. He should know that. Think he needs to give you some extra special TLC over the next few days in return. But glad he's ok, that's the main thing.