to expect DH not to go to the pub after work....

[glaskhamhasoneintheoven]

OK, i dont think IABU, but i'm 5mths pg and very hormonal, not to mentioned stressed by 2 under 4's that seem to be ignoring my requests to tidy their toys today!!

anyway, DH is a store manager, today he had a store audit, it was bad, DH is obviously gutted... i understand that. His area manager has been in the store for the last few hrs to 'talk' with DH about what went wrong etc, what needs doing about it...

DH just phones me and says he's going to be late home maybe by an hour or 2, i said 'how come'... his reply 'i'm going to the pup with Area Manager'

Que me saying i want him home, haven't seen him today, DC's wont see him today, and as he's working tomorrow wont see him till tea tomorrow... DH tried to say 'its his job' but its not his job to go to the pub, AM has been there most of the afternoon, why do they need to go to the pub too... and its not like DH will even drink anything but coke as he's got to drive home!!

he snapped 'so what do you want me to do about it' and i said 'just come home' then he hung up on me!!

I burst into tears, have cooked a lovely chilli that will have been ready for when he walked in the door, DC's are looking forward to seeing daddy for tea and bedtime routine as usual and he's gone and flipin hung up on me... not to mention he was supposed to be collecting something on his way home so now i've got to see if i can sort it for tomorrow as i dont know what time he'll be passing etc!!

so AIBU???

Do you think he feels obliged to go to the pub with the manager?

Sounds like he might be a little stressed out about his work and as may feel obliged to go with the area manager. You are being a little unreasonable although I can understand your frustrations.

Am with 3littlefrogs, it sounds like this is more of a compulsory drink with the manager.

In normal circs YANBU, but I think in current economic climate he probably can't help it.

probably... AM is kind of a friend though as he was DH's manager when he started as just a staff member 5 years ago... so he can say no, and has done before when he's forgotten he had to do something when he gets home etc...

he's text saying 'he doesn't mean to be grumpy but was scared of loosing his job'... balls- he's not going to loose his job, he's one of the best managers in the company let alone just the area, obviously he was just caught at a bad time with the audit!!

I dont want to talk to him after he hung up on me like a child!!

now i sound like a child for 'not wanting to talk to him'

I feel sorry for him tbh, he's had a shite day at work and now feels nagged
I know you've probably had a shite day too
I would put dcs to bed early and enjoy the peace and quiet
Eat the chilli on your own and save some for him

I think yabu.

Unless he goes to the pub every night he should have the right to occasionally go out for a drink after work, even if he only drinks coke.

My dh doesn't go out that often but occasionally he will ring up on a Friday night and say he's going for a drink.

The dinner will keep...

And the kids will survive one night.

aw he's apologised, let it go before it esculates

If it is a one off (not an every night thing) I think a drinkie with the Area Manager might be a good thing.

going to the pub may allow them to have a more relaxed chat in a more informal surrounding....especially if its been a bad day

i'm 28wks preg. with two children and my heart sinks if dh phones to say hes going to pub after work for debriefing!

sometimes i say can you come home early and help me get children ready and go back to pub for 7pm.....reasonable IMO

I think YABU. Doesn't sound like he does it a lot and sounds like it will be awkward for him to get out off and better for his career if he goes.

he's just phoned... said he's coming home, will still go and collect thing as arranged and thats that... i cried and said i didn't mean to be a bitch but its been a stressful day with the kids let alone hearing he's had a bad day... that i'd made a nice tea so he could come home and try and forget about the day etc... he's said not to worry about it and he'll be home like normal... said he'll go to pub next week with AM, or before if he's able to... now i feel like a baddy!! i can't win with these frigin hormones!!

He sounds lovely. FWIW you are allowed to be completely irrational when pregnant, it is almost the law.

I agree with TheCrackFox - don't be too hard on yourself. I cried because I couldn't put my shopping on the conveyor belt because the man in front of me put his briefcase down on it to answer his phone. Now that's hormonal

thanks ladies... he is lovely... and its little things like today's thing when he's completley out of character that then get to me becasue its so 'out of the ordinary' for him... i'm now sat crying just thinking how lovely he is!!

spicemonster- what can i say??? i'd have probably cried too!! i cried yesterday ebcasue i tipped my washing bowl water away and noticed i'd forgotten a spoon!!! i cried because i'd fogotten to wash a single stupid blimin spoon!!!

Glad it's worked out. Now you can enjoy a nice evening together with a chilli dinner.

yep... tea is smelling just lovely- at least thats something i've done right today!!

LOL - you are most definitely hormonal.