bloody cemetry officials why cant they think at this time of year

[hazygirl]

just had a bloody letter off cemetry people giving us four weeks to remove all personal effects off his grave,its 2 years tomorrow since we buried him,why couldnt they leave it tilll january dont the bastards relise how hard christmas is without them making it harder.
his mummy is struggling atm and its so hard holding everything together.
ok we signed paperwork to say we would stick to rules,but that was 5 days after he had died when we had to deal with police,coroners,undertakers everything but surely 3 brars from people who miss him so much isnt unreasonable, i move the tab ends they drop there everytime someone gets buried without moaning.
we cut the grass round him weekly in summer and never wanted grass over him,cant stand the thought of anyone walking over him.
even the name on letter it was addressed to is someone weve never heard of
sorry girls i need to rant

hugs to you, hazygirl, this kind of utter jobsworthness makes me absolutely seethe.

Your dh's kindness has me in tears here, I hope it gets sorted out for you so you may have a peaceful Christmas.
xxxxx

i know the feeling our cemertry is the same won,t allow us to place things on my husband grave its so heartless like if it was messy i could understand but its always looks beautifull and kept looking really well
just a thing my son who was 6 at the time put a toy motorbike by the side for his daddy and some low life stole it my son was heartbroken

debz, it's amazing what they will steal. Someone thought it was a good idea to take all the grills from the pots??? What I never understand is why it is the cheap little things go. We don't have a lot on Lily-Hope's grave but we're always getting things stolen, there is another child's grave that has a necklace on it. I don't want them to steal anything at all, but why cheap plastic when there's gold on another? I guess it's all for "fun". There are some real lowlifes around!

Our council got very jobsworth a couple of years ago, and decided to wrap a number of graves in tape saying "UNSAFE STRUCTURE. KEEP AWAY." My SIL saw some men in high-viz jackets kicking the gravestones at force, to see if they moved, before taping them up. They then got a letter requesting a couple of hundred quid to stabilise the headstones. She was tending her 2 children and father's graves at the time, and was extremely upset about it.

The law changed on gravestones, they used to be almost sat on top of the ground but now they have to be set in a certain way down. That's the only way to check they're safe and there have been accidents where the older stones have fallen.

yep you have to buy anchorage sets,jaydens bears have been there for two years,the headstones have to be set on concrete,they are safer,they know dh does round there ,it looks lovely in summer 2007 id sit there next to him and keep him company while dh cutted round.
its not just that dd has had to go on ads this month as is suffering from prolonged grief,and im worried about her.
its 3rd shitty xmas thanks to these .after 2 years why now and especially xmas,i just want my girls to have one bloody good xmas.

I seem to remember something about two years in my deeds... You can keep temporary items for two years then they'll ask you to move them or something like that. I'll have a look later and see if I can work out what I'm going on about!

Is your daughter under anyone hazy? Sounds like she could benefit from speaking to someone.

no they are trying with ads,to be honest she became pregnant straight after her son died ,which was a worry ,but inquest showed he died of sudden infant death.
i think its only recent that grief been allowed to come out,we went to see a spirtualist this year and he knew everything even things no one else knew,it was wonderful

I got pregnant two months later and I think it has a lot to do with me suffering from Birth Trauma when Tink was born. Because it's circumstantial she may need more than AD's, they could mask the symptoms but when she comes off them the grief will still be there. Some doctors like to stabilise the moods before they start with talking therapies though.

I read that there haven't been accidents. They're just pre-empting the possibility, by charging an exhorbitant fee to fix thigns that don't need fixing, frankly. And it was not the best way to inform grieving relatives - to turn up to find your loved-one's grave desecrated in this way with garish stripey tape, saying KEEP OFF.

tinsel can you cat me pleasexx clam a couple of years ago someone i worked with had a beer bottle smashed on her dads headstone,her mum was charged 400.00 for it taking down and repairingxx

hey girls they have rung my dh they are agreeing that they are insensative arseholes,they agree the timing is horrendous and have apologised and are looking at it all againx
please keep fingers crossed

fingers crossed for you x

Fingers and toes crossed, if not maybe we could do a petition to them

t he young mum whos gravestone is one my dh always does has emailed my dd and said shes writing to council in support ,and tell them we keep it tidy,and they are going to check with workmen that they dont mow our area if he was buried over side of hedge we could put anything on ,but not new side of hedge,yet its same cemetry

I'm glad you've got a good response out of them, let's hope something positive comes out of it. It's not like we don't have enough to worry about with a Angel's graves without the council joining in.

I haven't got CAT, but you can email me tinkerbellesmum at blueyonder.co.uk (I've been thinking I should ask my OH to pay for it for Christmas )

cheers tinsel will email youx