To have an xmas thank-you?

[randomxmas]

I take a 12yr old school friend of my dd back to her home twice a week after collecting her from a school bus stop. She lives 5mins drive from us.

I don't know the mum very well as I don't see her at the bus stop. On the other days when the girls mum collects her she arrives right on time, the same in the morning, so I don't get to chat to her. She is rushing to get to work or late arriving from work iyswim. Before I took her daughter home the girls gran would pick her up but this isn't possible anymore so the mother asked me for help.

I am happy to help and have done so for over a year now - never late & with out fail (even though I have 5 kids three of them are 5 & under - one is a baby).

Anyhow I heard from my eldest dd yesterday that I don't need to collect her friend tomorrow as she wont be on the bus. Her mum is collecting her from school after a meeting with the teacher.

I don't expect anything in return for helping but.....am I being unreasonable to think that I should receive an xmas small card or even a phone call to say thank you?

YANBU - if you've done this twice a week for over a year then you are entitled to some small thanks for what you've done. It doesn't look as though you'll get it though.

Unfortunately, too many people are of the "well she's going that way anyway so whats the problem" school. I don't understand it .

dingdong - you are right. (I drive 5mins past my house to get to hers!)

YANBU - it only takes a moment to write a note.

YANBU. Does the girl herself thank you when you drop her off at home?

What you really want is a nice card and a small gift for no less than £10. Or for her to come rushing over in a crowded room and express in breathless thanks what a saint you are.
lol

some people are just so ungrateful, if it were me you would be getting a lovely card and massive box of chocs

My friend is a childminder, always does lots of activites, never charges extra for play centres and days out etc, always bakes and sends cakes home, always gets the mindees birthday gifts etc, yet at least half of the parents don't even send her a card for christmas, never mind a bottle of wine or something. And we are talking about very well off people in an affluent area!

One family she has just stopped having now both Dc are at secondary school, having had then both for 12 years, since babies. Not a card, not a thank you gift, nothing!

It beggars belief.

YANBU - it amazes me how thoughtless people can be

Ah, see childminders are different. They are paid for what they do and should expect nothing extra. It's nice if they get it, but they shouldn't expect it.

The OP isn't being paid though.

The mum of a friend of my daughters gave my daughter a lift to school along with her own child for the first term of high school. It did not involve any de-tour etc , but nevertheless at Christmas i gave her a £15 box of chocolates and a thank you card. It would just be so rude not to acknowledge some ones kindness.

Thanks for the opinions.

I've given a gift & chocs to someone who helps me and it was super to say thanks & happy xmas.

I think it's the acknowledgement of helping that is important.

I've also done other things like take & pick up her daughter for a school day out activity, collect her from school when I was collecting my kids from school and once the school bus broke down in the morning so I drove her dd to school. This is always with my kids so in a way it's not extra work but still I find it strange she doesn't ring & say thanks randomxmas. I don't know her as a friend.

I've really helped her as I know that working and having to fit with school times is difficult and my flexibility has helped her out.

could you stop doing so much. Maybe at least make her phone you and ask that way she'd have to be grateful.

I dunno, I just honestly feel that the more you do for people the more they take you for granted, especially if it's childcare related

wise words dingdong. She's passed a message via her dd to mine that she didn't need the lift on thursday. Your idea is good. I will call her and say that the first week back at school might not be possible - see what she can organize. Her daughter is always polite though. If someone I didn't know helped me like this I would be really nice to them!