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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this talk to my baby really annoying

28 replies

jingleallnewjinglebells · 16/12/2008 10:55

When MIL holds DS and he's crying (the 2 usually go hand in hand!), she says such things to him as:

'I know, I know, it's cruelty to babies'
'I'd report them to social services'
'What have they been doing to you'
blah blah blah

Now I know adults say some silly things to babies when trying to pacify them, but I've never heard anything as weird as this. The first few times I excused it as stupidity, but I'm now finding it really annoying. I think DH should ask her to stop (he too finds it stupid but doesn't like to say anything)

OP posts:
DorrisMcWenceslas · 16/12/2008 10:58

MIL and my Mum do this too.
I'd never really thought about it to be honest, I suppose it is strange baby talk!
If it bothers you then get DH to mention something or 'joke' about it in a sort of 'Mummy is going to cry now' way - beat her at her own game!.

harpsiheraldangelssing · 16/12/2008 11:00

hmmmm
yabu and a little over-sensitive. people say all sorts of weird things to babies and it is likelt to mean nothing.
I say all sorts of odd things to babies, especially if they are crying.
things not dissimilar to the OP as it happens

LadyPenelope · 16/12/2008 11:01

Don't think it's odd - but my family say all that sort of silly stuff to babies!
Perhaps you MIL just annoys you so it wouldn't matter what she said...?

Libraloveschristmas1975 · 16/12/2008 11:03

hmm sometimes when my DS (5 months) is crying because I haven't got my boob out quick enough or he is just upset and we haven't worked out why yet. "yes you have horrible parents don't you, you are starving to death, just withering away, no-one understands you etc etc". It's just playing really.

StephanieByng · 16/12/2008 11:04

I've heard this sort of thing lots! I think it's funny; babies and very young kids are often so hugely dramatic in their tears, and it's just making light of that really. I suggest getting a sense of humour about it.

MrsMattie · 16/12/2008 11:05

I must admit I do say such silly stuff to my DD when she screams her head off while I'm changing her. It's dumb, though {grin}

ForeverOptimistic · 16/12/2008 11:05

YABU to find it annoying but unfortunately you will have to bite your lip as 99% of grandmothers talk like this!

WhereTheWiseMenWent · 16/12/2008 11:07

I do this to other peoples babies , it's very lighthearted, I think you are being a tad precious.

ForeverOptimistic · 16/12/2008 11:08

I meant YANBU.

harpsiheraldangelssing · 16/12/2008 11:08

I say "oh what a terrible terrible shame for that baby, does she never feed you"
and my mother says "yes your mothers gone and she is never coming back...."
it is just playing, silly talk but it is almost universal ime

ComeOVeneer · 16/12/2008 11:10

I guess it depends on your relationship with mil. I would be annoyed if my mil did this, because I know it would be sly digs at me ratherthan silly banter.

wem · 16/12/2008 11:11

hmm, guess I should lighten up too. my mum said 'what's she doing to you?' when I was trying to soothe a crying dd. I wouldn't mind but it was only cos she'd made me feel it was wrong to demand feed that I hadn't already whipped out a boob to calm dd down.

misshardbroom · 16/12/2008 11:17

I really wouldn't take offence at this. It's a way of keeping a crying child in perspective. Surely you have bigger things to worry about than an interested MIL 'playing' with her gc, even if it's not how you'd 'play' yourself?

shitehawk · 16/12/2008 11:19

You're over-reacting.

She doesn't mean it; he can't understand it; it is not intended as a criticism of you. It is just silliness, lots of grandparents say such things.

But. If you don't like it, ask her to stop. She'll think you're being daft, but hopefully will think twice before she says it again. I don't think you should ask your dh to tell her to stop - you have the issue with it, you should talk to her.

cauliflowersarebuffy · 16/12/2008 11:22

My mum, nan and MIL say silly things like this all the time when DD is crying !

I never really thought about it and it never crossed my mind to take offence at it.

However, if it really upsets you then you should say something.

ra29 · 16/12/2008 11:44

I would find this v annoying!
also, I don't think babies are being dramatic when they cry- they are completely dependant and things feel overwhelming to them- if they don't eat they could starve kind of sense. We know that waiting a few minutes for feeding won't destroy them but they really don't.
She may not mean anything by it and just be trying to be funny/caring or it may be a dig of some kind. Either way it would irritate me!

taliac · 16/12/2008 11:53

Sorry I think this is pretty funny tbh.

Babies can cry extremely in an extremely dramatic manner at times over nothing.

It can help one deal with crying and amuse in the process to over dramatise in return!

StephanieByng · 16/12/2008 11:55

exactly taliac. Of course they are overwhelmed by their emotions, but this is a way of dealing with it and putting it at the right level; I honestly don't know how some people get through life without humour.

belcantwait · 16/12/2008 11:56

sorry but i think YABU. i think its quite funny actually but then i would as i do it myself lol!

NewKnickersFromSantaOnMaHead · 16/12/2008 11:56

Yabu. My dad will say to ds, 'awwww, does mummy never feed you?' when he is crying. When dd decides ro eat lots in front of other people, even I say 'Can you tell I never feed her?'

It is all lighthearted and I am sure it with your mil.

NotanOtter · 16/12/2008 11:57

Jingle i agree with you - bloody annoying imo

however meybe after reding this thread you and I are over sensitive

still dont like it

YeahBut · 16/12/2008 11:58

I think you're taking it all too personally.

rolandbrowning · 16/12/2008 11:59

It can be annoying, but a lot of people say things like that, and most of them don't mean anything by it.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 16/12/2008 12:01

We often tell dd2 (19 months) that we will report my 20 month old nephew to the police for bullying. This is usually after she has thrown herself halfway across the living room doing a triple somersault on her way, screeching like a banshee because he has tapped her shoulder.

So I agree. Babies are not dramatic at all. At least not mine anyway

T'is just lighhearted banter, join in and say "What was that silly granny doing to you? Did her funny race upset you?" when you get him back Seriously I wouldn't take offence.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 16/12/2008 12:02

race? face even