to chastise my colleague as an absolute monster of a parent

[Shefflin]

for instructing her child to sit instead of stand when completing her ablutions/wiping her arse?

you are joking, yes?

I really cannot summon the energy to care how someone wipes their arse tbh, sorry

when the child goes to public school this will be expected - YABVU

oh goody your back.

How do you wipe your arse while sitting down?
Seriously?!

????[puzzled]

Exactly Chirpy. Animals.

Help ???? I couldn't wipe my bum standing up - for a start my bum cheeks would close together !!

I've always wiped sitting down - am I missing something here ??

Really Icantbelieve? I wouldnt be able to reach if I was sitting down!

FWIW DD1 has the idea, after she has used the potty she comes over and announces
'turn round, bend your knees, and mummy wipe!'

Icantbelieveitsnotbitter - absolutely agree. Although why I've actually posted here is another matter!!

I tell ds to drag his arse over the floor like a worm ridden dog would - say what you like, it's very thorough.

I really couldnt give a shit

what are you on about?

This isnt a real post is it, its a spoof... has Charlie Brooker had something do do with it ?

Who wipes their arse standing up... seriously

Im having lunch, so not commenting.

Just spread your cheeks and turn on the shower attachment...