to want to take dd to the Children's Xmas Mass and Nativity Play at the local Xpat Catholic Church?

[Pantofino]

I'm not a Catholic, and not even religious - kind of wish that I had some beliefs but unfortunately don't IFYWIM. I was brought up Cof E and it is was a big part of my life up to a certain age. I went to Sunday School and was in the Choir at one point. Plus attended Guides and Brownies and loved the hymns and Carol concerts etc at school.

Dd was never christened. I always wanted her to make her own mind up about things, with us explaining that people all believe different things, and providing as much info about this as we could. Her education here is entirely secular, so at nearly 5, the subject has not really come up. We have been in a couple of churches, where we alway light candles for Grandma and other people who are no longer with us.

I saw the children's service advertised and thought it would be lovely for dd to experience the nativity and the carols, and to get a sense of Xmas as I remember as a child. (Obviously some background explanation would be necessary)

And on the other hand I feel like a complete hypocrite for even thinking of it. Whilst I respect the faith of the usual congregation, I know I don't share it. But, part of me wants dd to have this experience.....though I cannot rationally explain why....

YANBU - this is exactly what Christmas is all about. Consider it part of her education.

Not unreasonable at all. Every church is used to seeing plenty of people at Christmas who aren't regular attenders.

Definitely take them - this is what Christmas is really about, whether you believe in it or not. I'm not Catholic but I went to the carol service at Westminster Cathedral last year (on my own - DH wouldn't come). It was beautiful and very moving and it was just a great opportunity to take time out to think about the bigger picture. Why would you feel like a hypocrite? I am sure the church welcomes people from the whole of the local community, whether you are a regular church-goer or not.

Take her. That's part of the reason they put on Children's services - so children can go!

And if you celebrate Christmas but don't believe, then technically you are a hypocrite! (You and millions of others!)

YANBU. They won't make you prove you Believe before letting you in. They will be very nice and welcoming (unless mentalists like a very peculiar vicar I once encountered at a christening) because they will hope that, having been once, you will come again. Xmas services are kind of like a big performance for Christian churches - 'Look, punters! Come on in, we're lovely! And we might give you a sweetie or something!' And the music and candles etc will make it an enjoyable outing for your DD.

My family were churchgoers when we were growing up but we have not gone to church regularly for years.

Since moving to Switzerland the children have started going to catechism (not even sure how to spell it) classes arranged by the local catholic church. DH is catholic and DS was baptized in the catholic church. DD and I are Protestant.

I like the fact that they are being taught the Christian morals and ideals. We have touched on this at home by reading stories but not in an organized fashion.

We will also go to a Xmas service with the DC.

I don't think that yabu, you are allowing your DD to experience the wonder of Christmas and she can make up her own mind in later years if she wants to go to church or not.

Thank you for the very positive responses! I guess when i really think about it, Xmas was so special to me as a child, not just because of the pressies, but the wider celebration where the navitity and the tree and the carols all played a big part.

And I'm really conscious of a big hole in my adult Xmas's where the presents are ripped open in 20 mins and i spend the rest of the drinking wine cooking. And i guess I want dd to have some of that magic too. (though must admit it still makes me feel like a "tourist" ifyswim.)

YANBU. Our church has a children's mass on Christmas Eve and it's lovely. I'd say at least half of the children there don't go to church for the rest of the year so I wouldn't worry too much!

YANBU. Or if you are, then so am I. Christmas (and other all year round) services were very much a part of my childhood, but like most people these days it's weddings, funerals, christenings and Christmas only. In fact the Christmas services we manage to get to, courtesy of still having young children are usually the Christingle service and the annual outdoor Carols in the Castle service, where having kids who won't actually sit still isn't much of an issue. But I'd still like to go to the midnight service again at Christmas if I ever had the chance of going without having to make a choice between going on my own or leaving the kids home alone.

Of course you're a hypocrite. But so what? The very fact that you never go means none of the regulars will know you or your situation. And your child might like it.

Take her and enjoy it. Churches that strictly limit attendance to Christians only tend to be quite small and held in people's front rooms ...