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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU as my BIL and SIL are buying their son a dog for christmas?

32 replies

andyrobo237 · 15/12/2008 21:18

Controversial one this, as a dog is for life not Christmas, but....

I have just found out that they are buying their 4 year old a dog for christmas, collecting it on Christmas Eve. Presumably they are getting all the other stuff - bed, food, lead, etc as well.

I do not have a problem as such with it in principle, but I think it is a bit unfair to give it as a present. He is well into the usual power rangers, spiderman, etc and I can imagine his face when he realises that the dog is just his present! Nothing else!

They will be fine with a dog, as SIL is around all day, and they have admitted it was a dog or a baby (newphew is an only child), but my reasoning was that they should have got the dog a week before or a week after christmas, and get him a small usual present for Christmas day, not make the dog the focus of his present. I have no reason to think the dog would not be well loved or wanted, but the timing seems wrong.

I was also surprised that a breeder would allow a dog to be collected on Christmas Eve!

Any thoughts??? Anyone done this>???

OP posts:
MinkyBorage · 15/12/2008 21:19

I wouldn't let it worry you, it's not really your problem is it?!

dizzyjingles · 15/12/2008 21:20

my dd's both adore our dog and love to help look after her and cannot stress enough how good it is for them to be out walking with the dog, in all weathers

they are 2 & 5 btw

Tidey · 15/12/2008 21:22

It's not something I personally would consider doing, but I'm not sure what your worry is? Giving a dog a gift, or the fact the child won't get anything else? Surely other people besides his parents will give him gifts?

snoringnightmare · 15/12/2008 21:22

Well as the dog is wanted and going to be well looked after then I don't really see what the problem is.

wannaBe · 15/12/2008 21:24

not really sure why it's bothering you so much.

Having a new puppy in the house on Christmas day will be very exciting.

Making it the 4 yo's dog is perhaps a bit ott but it's their business at the end of the day.

Fwiw for Christmas last year I got a parrot.

thisisyesterday · 15/12/2008 21:24

really? my almost 4 year old is desperate for a dog, he asks me every time he sees one if we can have one.

if, on Christmas day he came downstairs to nothing but a puppy he would be absolutely over the moon!!!

i have no probs with dogs for christmas etc either as long as the potential owners have done all their research and are prepared and equipped to look after it.

I think what they choose to give their son for Christmas is really up to them. they obviously think he'll like it.

sweetcat · 15/12/2008 21:24

I thought you were going to say there would be no one at home in the day to look after it in which case I would have agreed. But it sounds like it will be well looked after and loved, so I think it's a great present. Like Dizzy said, great exercise. I'm sure he'll get toys from other members of his family won't he?

Original poster
andyrobo237 · 15/12/2008 21:26

I dont really know what the problem I have with it is, but it doesnt seem right to be giving a dog as a present. Maybe I have been brainwashed by all these ads on the TV in previous years about dogs as presents!

OP posts:
ComeWhineWithMe · 15/12/2008 21:27

I think its nice ,you have said sil is going to be at home with it during the day ,it sounds as though its going to a lovely home.

I can't actually understand your worries .

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 15/12/2008 21:31

I don't think it is any of your business tbh.

3 yrs ago we bought my dd a dog for xmas.

Said dog is now a big part of our family, dd loves her madly.

That home you describe sounds like a good one for a dog to me.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 15/12/2008 21:32

As a vet, I hate puppies for Christmas. Not because of the ones that get ditched in the New Year, but because it is a really bad time to bring a puppy into a household, IMO.

There is too much going on. A puppy just away from its mother will be confused and a bit unsettled. A household at Christmas, especially one with a 4yo, will not be a calm and wecoming environment. There can be lots of visitors, lots of noise and lots of things for puppy to eat- with the best will in the world, amid the chaos that is Christmas it will be very difficult to keep tabs on the puppy every minute. THis leads to all sorts of mishaps- people standing on puppy/ trapping it in a door; it eating tinsel/ Christmas tree decorations/ chocolate (which is highly poisonous)- I've worked Christmas day a few times and seen all of these and more The household routine is usually up in the air, so it can be very confusing for a small puppy.

Sorry to be a party pooper, but I think puppies are best introduced to a new household when things are sedate and normal, so it can be given lots of attention and time to adjust. But that is just my opinion, and I know lots of people seem to manage ok.

MadamDeathstarOverBethlehem · 15/12/2008 21:33

If your BIL and SIL know about dogs and how to care for them I wouldn't worry. I got a kitten for my 10th birthday and was so happy you wouldn't believe it. I can't even remember if I got any other presents to be honest. As other posters have said, he will get presents from the rest of the family.

Desiderata · 15/12/2008 21:36

I see your point, andyrobo. The kid needs some toys too. I would suggest it.

Life's too short to fuck around, after all.

hermionegrangerat34 · 15/12/2008 21:36

I don't think children need loads of stuff, so a dog would be great if that's what they were going to get anyway. We decided last year that none of us needed another present (the dcs get 'main' presents from grandparents as well as us, so it can get a bit silly), and we got chickens as a family present - one each plus the house, run,etc. Children loved it (they were fully involved in the decision - were 6 and 2.5 btw).

Original poster
andyrobo237 · 15/12/2008 21:38

joolyjoolyjoo - I think you have sort of answered what I think the problem is, and I do hope that the puppy enjoys the new home, but I still stand by my opinion (and it is only my opinion which I am entitled to have) that it is the wrong tome of year.

OP posts:
Original poster
andyrobo237 · 15/12/2008 21:39

Haa Haa - you have not met the child - short of toys he is not.

OP posts:
hatwoman · 15/12/2008 21:44

I'm with jooly. The other thing is that the dog is not something a 4 year old can "play" with in a 4-year old way - if the 4 year old has been told it's his "present" then he will probably expect to spend all christmas day rolling around with it, sitting in his bed, playing tug and fetch with it (or, more likely, just pulling his ears, and, as far as the dog's concerned being a pita). the parents will either spend all day saying "no" to the 4 year old, or will get the whole dog-household relationship off to a rocky start with pup not being very fond of pestering 4 year old. when we got our pup (not at christmas) with pretty sensible 6 and 8 year old, and a set of family dog rules, we still ended up making dd2 cry because we had to say no so much.

FrostytheSurfmum · 15/12/2008 21:44

From what Jools has said, yes it's the wrong time to give him a puppy. But if it were dd she would be over the moon to get a puppy for Christmas and it wouldn't bother her not to get any other toys. She'll get plenty of pressies from other people.

So while I agree about the timing, I can't agree about the fact that it will be his only present and she should get him something else as well.

piscesmoon · 15/12/2008 21:45

I think that Christmas is the wrong time to introduce a dog into a family-however I don't really see what you do about it.

MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt · 15/12/2008 21:46

I am with Joolyjoo on this one. We got our puppy a couple of weeks ago and I deliberately chose to pick her up a week where the DC were at school most of the week to give her time to settle. My DC are 4yo and 6yo and the youngest does have his problems with the puppy as he gets overexcited and is too rough. I dread to think what it would have been like if we had got the dog at Xmas.

Apologies for the hijack, joolyjoo about the chocolate being poisonous. How dangerous is choc for dogs? If my DC are eating chocolate and some bits of chocolate fall on the floor, will it be very bad for the dog?

Joolyjoolyjoo · 15/12/2008 21:49

Mmeherewego...depends on the type of chocolate and the size of the dog! dark chocolate is most toxic- it contains high levels of theobromine which dogs can't break down easily. Small bits of chocolate dropped on the floor probably won't matter much, though I remember reading when I was a student about a daschund dying after eating a large bar of Bourneville, but I've seen labs which ate whole boxes of celebrations and lived to tell the tale! HTH!

Desiderata · 15/12/2008 21:59

It's plain/dark chocolate that dogs can't eat.

They're fine with milk chocolate.

Labs shouldn't be given chocolate at all.

beanieb · 15/12/2008 22:04

You think it's wrong that all he is getting is a dog?

MmeHereWeGoAWassailLindt · 15/12/2008 22:05

Thanks. Will keep an eye out then. She is a Maltese terrier/king charles spaniel mix and at present tiny. Dark choc is more my kind of thing than the DCs. I did wonder as I can remember our childhood dog (springer) snaffling chocolate crispie cakes off the table and not having any problems.

Sorry for hijack, OP.

Desiderata · 15/12/2008 22:07

Yes, I think it's wrong that all he's getting is a dog.

A dog is a family pet. A child needs presents to open on Christmas morning.

And let's face it. A dog costs less then a fucking Transformer