to be wary of men who ONLY acknowledge my existence when I've got my kids with me....

[noiamnot]

I'm not talking strangers but people you would be on nodding acquanintance with. Like the stocker at the supermarket or another caretaker you see at collection time and then in the town.

One guy in particular gives me the creeps up to my eyeballs. I have seen him about on my own and said hello and he just blanks me completely. But then if I'm with one of my kids he is very effusive and comes over and is all chatty and smiles.

Despite all this he gives me the creeps just in general.

So much so that I told ds2 today to never speak to this man unless I was also there.

I don't think every person or man is a potential paedophile (though I do think they're more common than a lot of you do). This is only the second person I have ever directly warned the boys about. The other is someone on our estate who has activiely tried to lure children to his flat to have sweets and drink beer . He frequently sits in his window and stares at the children (not mine, thankfully) and has been reported by other parents on the estate numerous times.

not true coldtits, yet - there are measures being considered but nowhere near what you describe. There are pilot areas announced but the scope/criteria are yet to be decided. AFAIK.

This is also the same man who I mentioned in a previous post (last year I think) who is fond of letting younger children run through his legs and their heads hit his privates and he makes no move whatsoever to stop it, in fact actively encourages it (school collection time, younger siblings waiting)

It was the effusiveness of his hello, like we were dear friends (while he completely ignores me if I am without kids).

No, I don't think I'm wrong about this. I won't voice my thoughts to anyone around here as someone correctly pointed out that could start a witch hunt. But I might make a discrete enquiry to someone I know I can trust to be discrete.

oh and when he said this overwhelmingly big HELLO, he wasn't even looking at me. Just staring at ds.

Having once discovered a friend was a paedo I would be very wary of men who became more friendly towards me after they knew I had kids, but not particularly worried about men who were friendly towards kids generally iyswim. Coldtits your man does sound odd.

I agree is daft to be wary of all strangers who like kids, family members by far greatest threat, peados look for ways to get unsupervised access to children, VERY rarely will attack strangers

"I would be very wary of men who became more friendly towards me after they knew I had kids, but not particularly worried about men who were friendly towards kids generally iyswim. "

one of the concerning aspects of the 'right-to-know' proposal is that for every convicted sex offender there are 1000's who are not convicted, and women MAY be provided with a very false sense of security, highlighted a bit by the above.

yes, there is another guy at the shop but the boys would never be in there without me so I haven't said anything to them. He is exactly the same way. That has been going on years. Never says a word to me and actually ignores me if I say hello but if I'm in the shop with the boys it is 100% positive that he will find us out and have all sorts to say to the boys but never acknowledge my existence.

don't like it one bit.

same sort of thing.

The caretaker is the man I was referring to above.

I agree Panta, everyone has a first offence, my friend, who I had known for a long, long time and trusted totally, got involved very quickly to a woman who had children, at the time we thought he was taking on a lot, we never imagined his motivations though..

I don't think you are being unreasonable. You have a niggle, and it you don't seem to get it with regard to all males around your children. There is a reason for that niggle, whatever that reason may be (and it may not be a paedophile thing, but could be other unbalanced behaviour).

Women are constantly told to follow their gut instincts with regards to situations that they feel uncomfortable about, why the heck wouldn't you do that with regard to your children?

My DH and I were constantly approached by someone in a social setting who made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, as I think he was a very unbalanced person. My DH didn't like being rude to him and we got suckered into a lunch with him. I flatly refused to have anything to do with him after that and told DH thatwe both had to be firm to the point of being rude, because there was no other way to cut him out of our lives.

Some examples of what he did: following us to a meal so that he knew where we were going and just joined us, physically standing so close that he was touching us or leaning right over me if I was sitting, refusing to accept a no to an invitation to lunch from me even though my DH was not there, trying to dress the same as my DH, just to name a few creepy things.

I have had to physically put myself between him and my DS to stop him trying to touch him and pick him up and very firmly tell him to not to.

It took 2 years for him to finally leave us alone.

it just shows you have good genes n people can see that on your own nothing interesting about you.

I think if one individual makes you uneasy, then it's not that unreasonable. The person may be harmless or he/she may be dangerous or troublesome in some way: you may never know which.
But I think if you treat everyone who talks to your DC in the street as a peedo-in-waiting then you would be a bit of a nut and doing far more harm (in a societal sense) than good.

that's pleasant lipstick

noiamnot, follow your mummy waters. Personally, I would ignore all advice when a strong feeling is felt concerning your DC. End off.

that is seriously creepy marg

no, i don't feel that way about all men. I've recently become friends with another single parent (dad) and he doesn't creep me out int he slightest. The boys and his are friends.

tbh becaus eof personal experience I am very wary of people who give me the creeps or I have any inkling of uneasiness about.
Yanbu to warn our children and keep a close eye.

I know a lot of people warn against being too suspicious because it may start a vigilante type feeling but I for one never err on the side of political correctness.

I don't voice these feelings to all and sundry though.

noiamnot - I'm amused that on the basis of only this and the soap thread I've twigged who you were

oh I'm not hiding. I'm trying to get my name back but am having difficulties. I deregistered for a month to get some work done.

Unless ya name is Bianca Jackson doubt you got much to worry about.

On a real if he freaks you out I would avoid him. There is 11,000 registered Peodo's in the UK thats just the ones that have been caught out.

But I would not say to people I think he is intreasted in kids as he hasn't done nothing wrong.